Nuggets

I travel a lot, John and I traveled a lot as a family and individually... but my post-widow flee was proposed about 3 weeks after John's funeral when his nephew called up from Melbourne, Australia and said: 'I think you and the kids should come and spend Christmas with me and Louise...' - it was August - and I couldn't think of one good reason to not go. So I did, then the kids (12 and 21 at the time - I got a notarized authorization for my son to travel with his adult sister) came 2 weeks later --- it was the best thing I could have done. We were so screwed up that first year that it just seemed right that a bunch of Canadians were celebrating Christmas in southern hemisphere summer - I liked it so much I went back a couple more times after that.

'So.... what didjer ex-husband die of?'

Me. It will be 13 years in July. I have a fabulous life that is full of joy -- it is a different life that anything I imagined, and would not be possible if he were still alive. It gets DIFFERENT. My kids are 24 & 33 - they were 11 & 20. I will be 57 in May, was 44 --- he died at 58 and I never really got the 'I'm older than he/she got to be...' until a year or so ago -- fuq, is that one gonna blow or suck or ??? in 2016/17 I've had 2 semi-serious relationships since -- neither got far enough to share space or a future, both were fantastic guys. One is still a friend, the other has dropped off the horizon. I have acknowledged that it could be me --- I have an unnatural and demanding need for honesty and there isn't much of that around in the pools that I'm casting my line. I seem to still have 'it' and get attention wherever males hang out -- occasionally something will go 2 or 3 dates... then one of us comes to our senses I don't really know why I hang around here -- a sense of duty? paying it forward? I go for weeks and weeks without checking in, and then I am in here every day for weeks and weeks. I'm glad this community continues -- there is great need for this resource, I hate that. Can't imagine what the Widow Walk would be without it though ---

I'm from the Yukon Territory, home of the Klondike Gold Rush (1898) -- John and I met there, and he used to call me his gold nugget... our wedding rings are unique to the Yukon (Sluice Box Rings - a channel with raw nuggets set into the channel)... it was a bit of a pet name. He had some other names that weren't nearly so flattering, like: "General Manager of the Universe" when he felt I was being too bossy, etc etc --- When internet and internet forums first started to be used there was usually a field restriction (8 characters for many forums) and I used variations with 'nugget' or 'nuggets' for a posting handle. I use Nuggets here, and on WidowNet -- most of the other forums have been sucked up by Facebook, but many of them were with 'nuggets' as part of the handle.

I'm staying until John isn't dead anymore -- I think all of us have done some reflection on what 'this' all means in the past couple weeks --- it will be a catalyst for some, a bit of a bump on the track for others. Stay, until you get a better offer

Ahhh geez, ya flatter me.... I am in Costa Rica right now -- things take time here in the manana culture. I found my way here thanks to a nudge from Robness and sleeping on my activation for a day... I used a hotmail account that is a kajillion years old despite warnings that it might cause me grief ---- pshawwww, grief, I know GRIEF!!! I am also on Facebook if anyone is trying to track me down.

Woo Hoo --- some one left the door open a crack and here I am!!!! I am a WidowNet and YWBB old timer -- John, the love of my life, soul mate, star catcher and trailer-backer-upper died of Pancreatic Cancer on 21 July 2002. We had observed our 23 anniversary on 6 July 2002, our son was 11 and our daughter was 20 ... our spoiled rotten Shih Tzu was 9. We have come a long way since: - dawg died of catastrophic kidney failure in 2006 and the ashes and leash are buried under the sods on John's grave in Calgary - son just graduated Faculty of Engineering at University of Victoria, and was immediately employed by a company that I used to work for (amazing how the management and colleagues at the BigBadOil company that John worked for just faded from view -- I feel ZERO guilt taking their Survivor Benefits until I die) - daughter embarked on a second career in Marketing and Business Development after 10 years in a clusterfuck called Brinks... the only thing you really need to know about working there is: You will go NOWHERE unless you have a penis. She didn't have a penis, so bailed -- now looking for work after finishing the 2 year diploma program. - I am in Central America -- I like it so damn much I may just move down here. - I am not recoupled - I have been in 2 relationships in 12+ years, both were awesome guys -- neither wanted to share a future with me... and that's OK. In some quarters it's a given that it's far better to be alone and lonely than alone and with someone. I am rarely lonely. I keep active on these sites because they were so instrumental in my healing, and I shudder to think what path I may have taken if I did not have a community that understood what I was going through. I come back again and again to pay it forward, but find that even when I think I am giving, I am still receiving. I have met many members in person - and believe that my life is better for my experiences both in this electronic arena and in real life. Hang in there -- 'it" will NOT get better, "it" will not get worse --- but 'it" will get different.