whiteirony

I wanted to share my happy little boy, Aiden. I was remarried on September 4, 2015, and we got pregnant one month later. He was born July 2 PS sorry the pics are so big. I don't know how to make them smaller.

I haven't been on here in quite some time so many of you may not know me. Little back story: My late husband, David, passed 12-30-12, when I was 31 and our kids 5, 3 and 2. I am now remarried to a wonderful man and recently had a baby boy. My other kids are now 9, 7 and 6. David was an alcoholic and addict. He was on and off again with his sobriety. His last year alive he became addicted to heroin and cocaine. He eventually sought help, got sober but then became ill and died from a lung disease that most likely was caused from his chronic abuse. Our 9 year old daughter is becoming more aware of the effects of alcohol and drugs by learning about them in school and from TV shows/movies. She has recently become aware that her grandpa, David's dad, is an alcoholic and she's noticed how "different" he becomes when he's drinking. So I've had to explain what addiction is. In doing so, she's been asking me if daddy was an alcoholic or if he ever did drugs. I want to be honest with my kids ... when they're older. I want them to be educated on their predisposition to becoming an alcoholic/addict given their genetics. I even saved David's homework from his treatment experiences (he was in treatment 3 times during our 8 year marriage and more so before I knew him). My kids currently view him as their superhero daddy like every little child wants to view their dad and I don't want to be the one to crush that. I've currently told her that daddy has made mistakes like every human does and that I'll go into more detail when she's older. So my question is, how do you navigate telling them the truth? I don't like the answer I gave her so here I am. Anyone else have this experience or any suggestions?

My new husband, as of 9-4-15, and I have had some exciting news recently! Baby boy is due July 4th and I couldn't be happier with my Chapter 2. My kids, 2 girls and 1 boy, are over the moon happy too. What a journey this has been ...

When I decided to start dating, I made an active attempt to limit DH's pictures around the house. It was on my terms and not someone else. Personally, I felt that was the respectful thing to do. I took all personal pictures of him out of my bedroom and left one on the mantle. I left collage photos in each of my kids' bedrooms that were filled with DH. That is their space and needs to be respected as such. Having been on the other end (DH lost a fiance' to a house fire before him and I met) I was completely respectful of his pictures with her and never felt insecure. BUT he did not leave out personal pictures of them so it never became an issue. They were very casual and I was always curious about her and not afraid to ask. Now that I'm remarried (to DH's brother), I've actually put up a few more pictures of DH and the kids and I. But I've also made an active attempt to put recent pictures of current hubby and I with the kids. It gets so complicated doesn't it? My motto is to always try and keep it simple. Try not to over process and go with your gut. Look around your house. Do you think it's too much? Do you think GF is being overly sensitive? An ex-husband is not the same as a deceased loved one.

I want to pipe in here. I'm a member of her One Fit community and read her blogs and benefit from reading the words she writes. I also have been part of her fitness community and it has allowed me to put the puzzle pieces together for my own health journey. After a year, I now exercise 5 days a week, eat as healthy as I can and feel amazing physically. It amazes me how others are so willing to judge and negate someone for their own grief journey because it doesn't match their own. Take what you want from it or nothing at all and move on. I'm not going to defend her choices because they are hers. And like the previous poster mentioned, why not make a career out of something so traumatic. Traumatizing incidents are often the precursor for certain careers whether it's counseling, motivational speaking, fitness training, etc. I'll also add that I believe I'll always be David's widow and now Eric's wife. My widowhood doesn't define who I am but has made me who I am today.

Thank you so much for the well wishes everyone!!

I am fortunate and very blessed to have married my Chapter 2 this weekend. There is hope and light and love in this world post loss. And my kids are ecstatic! Thought I would share a few pics:

7 weeks until the big day. The day I marry a man who I can honestly say is the love of my life. Backyard wedding with big reception to follow. The little details are left to plan: programs, shoes, gifts, hair, groom's dinner, gift opening, etc. But this is all the petty stuff, right?! My imagination runs wild as I envision myself walking down the stone path to meet him at the patio island under an archway of decorated flowers and willow branches and I start to cry. Tears of happiness yet tears of overwhelming fear. WHAT IF? What if IT happens again?? What if I have to bury this man like I did the last? What if my children lose another father figure? Maybe I'm better off being single so I don't risk being hurt. WHAT IF? I know the risk of the unknown is worth marrying this man and that we are to enjoy each day as if it were our last. No one is guaranteed tomorrow ... no one ... but it doesn't stop me from second guessing or feeling like my heart is being stabbed while my breath runs short. Grief is such a bitch ...

Always a pleasure, Maureen!! Thank you for going out of your way to meet my brood. Eric was so glad to have met the woman who instigated the courage in me to take that leap of faith in the relationship between him and I. You're an amazing woman and can't wait to hear about your future endeavors across the country. Much love Mari

I'm bumping this thread. This picture was shortly after we started dating. He loved to fish tournaments and be on the water.

Sleeping with the BIL .... I had a similar situation happen. BIL came over frequently after DH died to help with maintenance and play with the kids. Then the in-laws and I went to a concert one night, had a blast with a few cocktails and when we got back to my place, one thing led to another and it was MIND BLOWING!! I was in shock the next morning as he left for work and I sat there wondering what the hell did I just do ... And now, we're getting married this September. I get everything that you just posted. The families took it well except for my mother but I've worked through that. We also really had to process together and tread lightly. We kept things to ourselves for 2 1/2 months until we realized we were both falling in love. I won't bore you with details but if you want to know more, message me. Happy endings can happen. My biggest advice is don't beat yourself up and keep the communication open between the two of you. I was so scared to go down this path and it took someone from the board to nudge me to take that leap of faith and I couldn't be happier. I am more in love with this man than I ever dreamed possible. And the added bonus, my kids ADORE him!! So uncle Eric and mommy are getting married and they love it.

I'm not sure why I didn't think of Gayle sooner. I had the privilege of meeting her over a year ago on my solo trip to FL. I assumed she only worked on quilts and other crafts. I would love some pics of the pillows if you don't mind sharing.

I'm trying to find someone who can make DH's shirts into pillows. I've seen some ideas on FB where the shirts are made to have the sleeves folded in the front with a pocket and a little quote on the corner. I found someone in WI whose company is called Without End but she wants $180 per pillow. I would love one for each of my 3 kids, myself and my mother-in-law and at $180 a piece I'm looking at $1000 with tax. Is this a reasonable price?? My 7 yr old daughter just asked me last night if I was getting the pillows made (I haven't mentioned it since February which tells me she's thought about it). I did tell her I wasn't sure due to cost and she proceeded to give me her baggie full of change from her recent Easter Egg Hunt ... :-\

Mokie, you may be able to read the whole story some day when I finish my memoir. It's honestly like a tragic love story with a twisted happy ending.

I have found that making a meal plan for one or two weeks at a time was a huge game changer for me. Relieves much of the stress that comes with "what's for dinner". Tacos Spaghetti Meatballs Crockpot meals - I recently seared some seasoned pork tenderloins, placed in crockpot, covered with salsa verde and viola! Eat plain, with tortillas, over salads, etc. Soooo yummy. Soups or chili in the crockpot are easy. Chicken fajitas I use a steamer a lot for veggies, baked potatoes and fish. Super easy and most things take only 20 minutes or less. I also have pots that have pressure cooker lids and LOVE them for easy to make chicken and veggies. Pancakes, french toast or waffles with egg omelet muffins. Cereal, pizza, hot dogs/brats, mac n cheese, chicken nuggets, corn dogs are quick go to foods but quite honestly ... yuck! But I do it probably once a week for the convenience. Also, my 3 kids and I go out for a meal once a week so I get a day off from cooking.

I'm over 2 years out and have yet to finish a book ... I LOVED to read before. I'm a huge John Sanford fan but haven't kept up with his Prey series since DH died. I really do miss sitting down to a good book and finishing it within the day or week. *sigh* Heck, I can't even sit down to skim a magazine any more.

I have fallen in love again with an amazing man who loves me completely, adores my 3 kids and happens to be my DH's youngest brother. We are getting married September 4, 2015.

Hi everyone, My name is Mari and I've been a part of YWBB since January 2012. My husband, David, died 12-30-12 from a chronic lung scarring disease. We were together 10 years and married for 8. He was 42, me 31 and our children were 5, 3 and 2. Our marriage had been stressed the last year of his life from his latest incident with drugs and alcohol. He was such an amazing man when sober yet the demons of addiction succumbed him. Thankfully enough, he did sober himself during the last 6 months of his life only to have his lungs flare up and kill him. Over the course of the last 26 months, and a lot of therapy, I have recovered from my own co-dependency and found ways to find happiness again. I am currently engaged and will be wed this fall. I don't seem to comment on the board much but I do come to visit and read and find comfort and support in others' words. It helps tremendously to know that I don't walk this path alone. Many blessings to each and every one of you!