Sugarbell

Right...if he's with a complete dud...the exs aren't as threatened. He's less appealing. It's what the ex perceives you as...NGs ex is still a crazy pain in the ass...but now I just pity her.

No words of experience or wisdom...just letting you know I'm sending you strength and I hear you!❤️

Crazy ex's suck donkey balls. My late husband had a theory...When we started dating..after a few months ex girlfriends started trying to talk, etc to him. He said "Suddenly the guy is more attractive to them when he's with a hot intelligent woman". They feel threatened and want what they lost...it's primitive human biology" So take it as a compliment....she's feeling insecure about you and him getting married. I've learned to totally ignore my guys ex. Seriously I keep my nose in the air and never bad mouth her to anyone publicly. It's like she doesn't exist or is so insignificant it's not worth wasting my breath. I'm this way to new guy too now...we don't discuss her it's always brief and to the point only about their kids (drop offs, vacation, etc)

We are...we survived last weekend on vacation with 4 kids and they all got along.

I think any photos in your sons room is totally appropriate ...it's been almost 10 years and my oldest son still has a family portrait (8x10) right beside his bed on a nightstand. Him and his brother with DH and I (before sister was born) But really...I haven't had photos of DH throughout the house in years probably 8 years. I would feel weird buying a new home with new guy-mowing forward and having pics of DH in it in common living spaces. Kids rooms? Yes..they can have pics as long as they want..Shoot my son I think will always have that one pic. It's his memory of his Dad. But my heart (in a romantic way) is no longer attached to DH...just as the father of my kids.

Last night at cook out. He's awesome

Awesome vacation! Her mother was partying at the beach and didn't call much. But she's nuts...as we were driving home from vacation she had just gotten back into town and started with the texts/calls. This is hard in a tiny (5000 pop) town...

My son is 14 1/2...they know...they've had the talks in health class (at least in my state they do) I'm pretty blunt with my boys...actually it eases the embarrassment. We talk all birth control...condones even if the girl says she's on the pill..Diseases...not to knock anyone up or they are on their own (no college) Basically...I've put the fear of God into my 14 year old...but he knows I would get birth control for him if and when he or the girl needs it. I don't like to think about my kids having teenage sex (and he hasn't he got his first kiss just this year)..But we've always had open communication about everything. Good luck...this is where I wear my dude hat and talk to my boys like a man half the time.

Leaving on first vacation with all of us this afternoon...5 days 4 nights on the Lake. His daughter is so sweet and excited. Her Mom was so upset she had to book a 4 day trip to Florida on one of her Sugar Daddies. I really hope she doesn't call her daughter and upset her..I mean I know she will be calling and texting her non stop...but hoping she doesn't go apeshit on her and get her upset. It's pretty predictable though...I'm sure it will happen.

Ok so imitation is the sincerest form of flattery right? Now it feels creepy. I took my kids and NG daughter to a state park Friday for a day of hiking while he was still working. Daughter loved it and said she's never been hiking or to state parks in the area..We had a blast. Her mother hates that kind of stuff (I know) That evening we get a puppy that was found on NG farm. My son and his daughter were so happy and excited and my son was texting daughter after she left to go to Her Moms and sending her photos of the puppy walking, etc. So next day Mom gets a pit bull puppy and keeps texting daughter pics (that's all this woman needs is a pit bull) Then Mom gets bitchey...2 days later when she gets the daughter drive her 3 hours in the rain to go to a different state park and she said she wants to take up hiking. Daughter is trying to have fun with her Mom...but is a little wigged out at this sudden spontaneous change. I am s little creeped out. Probably harmless--but it's very weird to me just because I know her and her history/tirades/instability. Any psych folks have any input???

Now I'm pretty comfortable with all of it except the staring in the eyes and really kissing stuff..no too much for me. Sitting on lap..not normally but we've been to so many casual crowded kids sporting events that it happens sometimes-but not something I would regularly do. In the past...and even when I was married I wasn't into PFA nor was DH or any guy I've dated since. My last relationship we never even held hands ..it was weird. NG is very publicly affectionate..always wants to hold hands, hug me, etc. At first I admit..I felt weird to me holding his hand walking into a restaurant, my kids games. -any date. I wasn't used to it at all. Now I like it...but it's been several months to get used to. Naw..I can't deep kiss or that stuff in public..We are affectionate (within reason) around my kids...and my oldest son at first was like "Wow Mom you are all over him" (not kissing just touching holding hands)... My kids have never seen me like that around a guy. Last guy before NG..Hell we barely sat next to each other on the couch.

Trying-She sounds nutty too..good grief...Why can't these people look at what is good for the kids instead of being fueled by jealousy?? She ought to be happy her ex is with someone who loves those little boys and wants to make them happy. Too many things to list from the weekend...but she's a nut job train wreck. I'm done walking on eggshells...I won't interact with her...but I have really tried not to throw stuff in her face and worried about not being in places with him where she would be. I'm done..It's too small of town and by walking on eggshells (like everyone else has done for years) her behavior doesn't improve-it gets worse. I will be classy...But I have a feeling I am going to make her head spin now. I'm just being me..he loves me..I love him...and if were ever in the same circles of people/events...she's going to have to suck it up. Or move to the beach. 😎-Which I predict will happen in the next 12 months.

Well...parents and step parents-So they are allowing up to 4 guest per student. Bring your Mom and 2 other guests if you wish. I wouldn't even ask..

My oldest moved back to my childhood hometown and lived with my parents Jan 2016. I moved with my younger 2 kids in June 2016.. -Almost a year..settled into our new little house-things are going well. My oldest has excelled here (which really he was the basis for our move-after 7th grade academic opportunities/classes were limited in Stepford. He's kept a 4.0, NJHS, Paige to Legislature, and recently won states Golden Horseshoe award-based on a test-4 top scores in county go to state capital for a knight ceremony. Yea he's smart...and that stuff comes easy to him. While I am proud as can be-I know the effort was minimal fie him to win. But this is what I am most proud of with my son. He has a lawn business some evenings...our county school superintendent had heard from a friend of his that he did a good job..and offered him a job once a week to mow/weedeat. It's good money for a 14 year old. The superintendent told me how impressed he was with his work ethic and it's something he doesn't see much of in kids nowdays-I confessed my kid had been mowing lawns since he was 9 or 10..and he has always liked doing it. Last night a get a letter in the mail that my son has been selected to go to the WV Ambassadors Camp at a University at our state capital all expenses paid. It's a government, cultural, civic/leadership camp for the top 15 8th graders in the entire state. They have to be nominated by their county school superintendent-and each county can nominate 1 kid..But out of 55 only pick 15. All the kids nominated are smart achievers. However..when the county superintendent nominated him it wasn't his grades or academic awards or sports that put him over the top. It was his work ethic and willingness to get his hands dirty for his own money. It's his ability to have overcome hardships/obstacles and be able to be resilient. That's what this camp looks for..And to help guide kids that may become future state leaders. Who would have thought this opportunity would come from mowing lawns? 😊😊

I guess you have a point. Ideally it would be nice if he had a sane ex..or was remarried or in a serious relationship..Shes going to pick, play victim, and be disruptive..that's just her. Not going to engage..He told me he Loved me last night (Huge huge step-) and I do love him. Can't believe I am actually saying that. We are far far off from any type of "living together or marriage" thing. But the feelings are there and will hopefully continue to grow. She needs to move to the beach. Myrtle Beach or Daytona Beach (where she wants to move) is exactly her year round speed. Bat shit wild woman crazy.

Mothers Day weekend.... NG had daughter...dropped her off to her Mom Sunday morning. Mom had sent daughter a list of things or ideas of what she wanted for Mothers Day (yea seriously no shit-unbelievable).. Daughter just got her a card..Mom upset. Then started bitching (during drop off) about how she spent 10.00 on a dance tshirt for daughter and he didn't pay. He gets out of car hands her a 5 and leaves. Hour later NG gets a marathon of bitching texts about how he keeps her out too late and she always comes to her exhausted. This is because they were at my house till 12:30 one night this weekend (even though Mom has her out till 1am sometimes)-He didn't bother to respond. So then starts in on how she's the mother of his 2 kids..they were married for 20 years and he can't get her anything for Mothers Day or wish her happy Mother's Day and how she doesn't want to be enemies blah blah blah. So he responds "Ok Happy Mothers Day" Just nuts. He handles her usually just by ignoring and not responding. Oh and Mothers Day-Left her daughter alone all day once she got her and went kayaking with her friends. Daughter says she goes to try to stay with her Dad a lot more this summer. This woman is just too crazy and looks to pick arguments.

I don't have active grief or lack of motivation..I'm more motivated than ever..and happy. At 9.5 years..no sadness the majority of the time. HOWEVER...like clockwork...Sept 24th..the day he died..it's also my middle sons birthday (and we've had a blow out party every single year for him) and it's ironically also the weekend of the Out Of Darkness Walk for Suicide prevention. I have anxiety/hyperness all weekend because it's hella busy...I'm carrying my hidden secret that it's the day B died..it's the one day I year I still fake it like a rock star. When the day is over...I cry...I really really cry hard...Can't control it. Cry alone in the dark..never wanted the kids to see me cry on that day..cause it's my sons birthday. I will probably cry on that day for the rest of my life...no matter how much I move on. And that's ok.

He doesn't even need to go back to court...In WV kids 14 and older have a say and she could stay with her Dad all the time. He's been wanting her too for some time. This last stunt I think about did NG and his daughter in. He was up all night the night it happened worried about her. His daughter is a pleaser....a peace maker and thought if she spent 50/50 with both parents it would keep Mom happy. It's not working...I look for her to gradually spend more and more days with her Dad. It's already 70 percent of the time instead of 50/50..cause he gladly takes her when Mom takes her unexpected sugar daddy trips. I

Argued all morning in car..Her Mother said she's just too much for her to handle right now..Had daughter in tears at school this morning. Then this afternoon had flowers delivered to the school to her daughter apologizing. (I subbed at high school today) Classic textbook abusive relationship. Absolutely insane. Daughter knows and called her Dad on school bus..He told her to just act appreciative..She has dance class from 5-9 so she won't have to see her Mom much tonight and she's with him rest of the week. Sigh..finally find the man of my dreams and his ex is absolutely bonkers.

Yes you are right...it's abusive. That's why NG was so upset that the grandparents did nothing. I'm hoping she goes off the deep end and moves south to the beach like she keeps threatening too. It would be the best thing she could do for her daughter is to just leave.

I think the way of blocking her out is..I've fallen for him. I know him..I have people locally vouching for his character who have known him for 40 years. He's solid..he's what I've been looking for..I don't fall easily..but we just flow together-we are easy it's not work. So I ignore her..and everyone I encounter is happy for the two of us and say she's crazy. That makes it easy. She won't get a word outta me..nothing. Saying nothing around Crazy is better than being nice and trying to reason with them or play nice. I don't play with crazy toxic people. Just nothing.

High school sweethearts...married at 20. She wasn't crazy in high school. She stays at her parents in town when she has her daughter. He was upset her parents didn't say anything..but I think they walk on eggshells too. I think he just wanted out of the marriage and it was joint 50/50 custody and he felt better that she would be at her grandparents on days she's with her Mom. Mom has rental house in "city"but it was worked out that she would stay at her folks on days during the week when she had her daughter. She holds a full time job in the "city". Even my sons middle school coach..who talks about no one said to me the other day "Glad you are with him..he's a great guy but his ex is a crazy ass". I think it upset her that this weekend daughter was at my parents with him for dinner and my Mom (retired high school teacher) really hit it off with her too. The kid just wants a peaceful family life-she gets along with everyone-she hasn't rebelled or anything (in spite of her mother). She failed her learners permit for her license last week and wants her license so bad so she can have more say about where she goes. She's 15.. I believe kids at 15 are allowed to choose aren't they? And he hasn't dated anyone in 2.5 years since the divorce..pretty much because of Moms volatile behavior..so now it's cranked up because he has a girlfriend, his daughter likes me and my kids, our families like each other, etc. I'm staying as neutral as I can...but I am no longer going to hide " us" and walk on eggshells worried about this woman. She kept screaming "I probably have MS..and look what you are doing to me". I expect an overdose soon...and plenty of drama/show to come with it. I know I sound callous ...but it's too predictable. And I really am falling for this guy. He is just such an amazing man of character.

At ballgame last night...daughter called her Dad..45 minutes of crying. Mom threw fit over something...she packed up all daughters clothes screaming "I'm going to drop you off somewhere else to make you happy..just live with your Dad and her" (and no we are nowhere close to living together) Clothes were all over the yard, suitcase..She finally calmed down and went to bed (Mom) Dad told daughter to go to bed. He expects her Mom will wake her up in the middle of the night to apologize. He says that's usually what happens. Bat Shit Crazy.

Over the weekend we all hung out...NG and daughter went to games with us..they came up Sunday for my birthday dinner at my parents. He dropped her off to her Mom at 5 (supposed to be 2..but her flight was late from Key West 🙄). I was teaching at High school today...this afternoon daughter comes bobbing into the classroom with homemade cookies she made for me last night. She said she wanted to bring me cookies on my birthday. She is the sweetest kid. I asked NG after work if she caught Hell for it...He laughed and said "No..she told her Mom she was making cookies for her friends at school so she wouldn't flip out on her. " Gawd this women is going to hate me even more...hope I don't come home someday and find a boiling rabbit in a pot in the kitchen (Fatal attraction)

My experience only...it's a mind screw both on you and him. Others have done it and it works out great...even turns out to be marriage. Everyone is different...personally I wished I had not started dating till I was healed. I know easier said than done. But remember when you are broken still you are likely to attract the broken. Just my experience only.