JeanGenie

I'm having the kitchen redone. It was something we talked about doing for years but never seemed to get around to it. So now I'm doing it and today was the day to pack everything up. I did good as I emptied "his" drawer and as I found the "new daddy" mug hidden in the back of a cabinet. I even tossed some things out...not as much as I should, but some. All the plastic cups that filled the cabinet above the refrigerator, ash trays, old flashlights that no longer worked, refrigerator magnets. I couldn't bring myself to toss the key for his truck that I came across even though I've since sold the truck. I also came across an opened carton of cigarettes. He had stashed it in the back of a cupboard the day he quit smoking cold turkey. That was 20+ years ago and he always kept that carton up there and wouldn't allow me to get rid of it. Maybe it was a reminder of what he accomplished or maybe it was a security blanket. And how was my opportunity to finally toss it, yet I instead placed it in the box and packed it up. Maybe when I unpack I'll get rid of it. But I continued to sort, purge, and pack listening to music and making great progress. Even as I sorted through his many, many spices. He loved to cook and we had a ton of spices. I threw out ones that were old or that I would never use. Sadness came as I pulled fish seasonings out--he loved to fish and cook up his catch for us. But I continued to moved through it. Until I opened the cabinet that contained a box of tapioca. I had bought that to make for him. He loved tapioca and instead of instant, I was going to make him some. I had bought it just before he ended going into the hospital. All the memories in that kitchen. The things I was taking down that he put up. The things tucked away in the back of a cupboard that were his, were ours. I was doing good, until I came across a stupid, little red box of tapioca...

Congratulations!! You both should be very proud!!

Euf, First, Happy Birthday!! I hope you do something special for yourself today to celebrate YOU and enjoy your day! I'm quite certain that if your LH came back today, he would certainly still be attracted to you. Just as your love has not waned, his would not either. He would still love you for you regardless of age.

Have a wonderful time! And yes, just have your ID and $$ and you can get whatever you forget or find you need. I am so excited for you and can't wait to hear all about it! Safe travels!!

5 (cringe)...all hooked up to cable and 4 with DVR boxes....and I live alone! DH liked watching TV--mostly sports and I haven't gotten rid of anything since he passed. I've got one in the kitchen, office, family room/finished basement, living room, and bedroom. I use the one in the basement only when on the treadmill and I rarely watch the one in the bedroom.

Ooh, I'm interested. I think the only times I can't do is Aug 15 and 22 (I'll be in RI in Rudi's next of the woods). I need to confirm those dates though.

Thank you Rudi for organizing this and thank you all for a wonderful day--good weather and good camaraderie. Maureen, so glad you were able to join us. And that woman's face from priceless when you told her price of admission! I laughed so hard afterwards!!

I hear ya... We had the same division of labor which makes sense when you're in a partnership and it sucks now that we are left to do it all ourselves. First, give yourself credit for cleaning out stuff inside. My DH's areas were a workshop in the basement, a garage, shed, and anywhere else outside he wanted to keep things. I've done minimal cleanup in the basement and garage (just the obvious stuff like 6 used batteries...I exaggerate but not much). Since he has passed, I have done outside cleanup and have stayed on top of maintaining the yard as best I can. I had to learn how to use the riding mower and spreading mulch and planting flowers. Anyhow, all of this is to say...take it one section at a time, one project at a time and don't try to do it all at once. As others have said, if you can afford it, hire someone to do some of the work so you can make a good dent in it and then you just need to maintain ("just"...still an ongoing project). There are days when I look out at the yard and feel a sense of pride at how nice it looks and I hope DH's happy that I carried on from him. Then, of course, there are days when I'm outside crying because he should be here to take care of it all. But this is the home we made together and I try to find some pride and comfort in knowing that I'm continuing to care for it the best I can. I've also taken before and after pictures even of silly things like painting the bulkhead. Then when I look at it now, I can go back and look at how bad it was and feel a sense of pride. So good for you for working on the patio! Enjoy each little job or section that you work on and take pride in what you've done. Taking care of a yard is a huge responsibility but you're tackling it...little by little! Oh, and regarding the boat...my advise...make lots of noise and bang the side of the boat to scare away anything that might be hiding in there before taking off that tarp!!

Yes, weather is supposed to be beautiful. I haven't been to this winery...are there places to gather outside? That would be nice. And I understand we bring some snacks to share? Looking forward to seeing you all and having a day off from the daily grind!

As Mikeeh said...they just don't get it and that we remember and feel the loss every day. I just passed 24 months and there were a few who remembered on the 2 year anniversary which I so appreciated. So there are a few who remember on the yearly sadiversary but I know, with time, this is likely to fade for them as well. The rest of the time, no one tends to say much. I think it's what everyone says...they either have moved on and don't remember or they are afraid to say anything because they don't want to remind us and make us sad. HA! As we all know, we never forget. But those who have never experienced this, just don't understand that. I'm sorry this added to your already sad day. Just makes it harder.

I'm in! And can do closer to Worcester if that is what folks prefer!

Happy Anniversary and many hugs! Find peace today in your happy memories of that beautiful day and the years you shared together. You know you're in my thoughts today. Sending more virtual hugs..

Time to get this going again, so... Languishing in the lazy river And thinking summer, what do you like to cook on the grill: hamburgs OR hot dogs?

All the sympathy cards, the obituary, notes from final hospitalization...are all tucked into a pretty box I picked up from Michael's and is tucked away. I can't imagine every getting rid of this. Of course, I still have all the cards he gave me and all his clothes still fill his closet and half of the dresser drawers. His "stuff" is still everywhere...tools in the workshop and garage, his golf clubs, golf shoes, etc. Even his wallet and watch is in the drawer in the kitchen where he put it everyday after work. The only things I've gotten rid of were some brand new clothes that I passed onto my BIL and then really ratty sneakers or sweatpants that no one would ever have a use for. But everything else pretty much remains. Someday I will need to start sorting through it but I haven't been in the mood and I don't need the space for anything else. Someday...but not today.

Hachi, I am so excited and happy for you! Good for you for pursuing your dreams and what you want to be doing. As we know, life is way too short! I'm not quite sure what the next chapter of my life will be. When I was younger, my dream was to get married and raise a family. And now...I don't even have a bucket list! Maybe someday I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I am so excited for you...both for the adventure and your guts and persistence to make it happen!! Can't wait to hear all about it!!

I'm glad I happened upon this thread because feeling "unreal" and what you've all voiced is exactly how I'm feeling. Just under 24 months and last night I sat and cried like I did in those early days. Gazing at his picture, it feels like I'm staring at any picture you might see anywhere. Was he real? Are my memories real? Or were they all a dream...some wonderful life that I read about in a book or watched in a movie. And how can something so wonderful just end. But as we know, it does, every day for so many. I still cannot grasp how a person can be here loving and alive one moment and gone the next. Was it all real or something I made up in my imagination. The practical side of me knows it was very real and our love was very real. But last night that practical side gave way to the grief and the pain returned. God I miss him so. His voice, his touch, his love.

By the ocean for sure!! While at the ocean, Sitting on the beach reading a book OR Body surfing in the water?

Peeps with chocolate... Yum... Try microwaving regular Peeps for a fun time with kids!! We did that a few Easters ago...the kids thought it was so cool!!

Red licorice Peanut M&Ms or Regular?

Mrs Dan, Congratulations on the job offer and good luck this evening with your negotiation with them. As ATJ stated, there's inherent risk in all major decisions, just weigh your options and think about what is best for YOU and DD. Good luck!!

Coffee. Only drink tea when having a sore throat/feeling under the weather. Okay, in light of the date... Pranks on April Fool's Day or Just another day on the calendar?

hmmm... if homemade, butter. KofC mashed potatoes would be gravy I'm getting hungry... How about a veggie on the side? Brussel sprouts OR Green beans?

SUV...I live in New England and I'm too practical! For Easter dinner, Ham OR Pork

Not really a "cool trip"...but a year after my DH passed, my adult son and I went to Washington DC for a long weekend (kind of a combination mother's day/his birthday treat to each other). He had never been and we had a lot of fun...definitely good travel companions. Hoping we can do another long weekend to someplace new this year as well.

Got in my 30 mins of exercise 5 days this week. Was supposed to go away today but plans changed so I worked out my disappointment by doing 40 mins of circuit training! Hope I don't feel the pain tomorrow!!