ManutesGirl Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Monday I signed up to compete in Ironman Lake Placid in July 2016. If DH were still alive I would not be doing this, in fact I probably wouldn't have even done my first triathlon this year. In 2011 while he was on hospice we watched my brother complete this race. I think I said at the time it was so cool but I could never do it. But because he died and I was floundering I am doing it. Somehow last summer I decided completing an Ironman would help me focus and give me a purpose. I felt like I was just existing rather than living life fully. So I jumped in head first and here I am. I know he would be proud of me but it is so weird to think that knowing I wouldn't be doing this if he were still alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mawidow Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 I think that is very much on topic and an incredible example of post-traumatic growth. We wouldn't have the growth if we hadn't been through the trauma. It's really weird, I agree. I've often had that thought when I made a major life change that I would've been scared of before. Nothing much scares me now, but only because of how hard bereavement is. Sending admiration and cheers to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max2507 Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Good for you! I have a trip to hike the Grand Canyon rim to rim in sept. Would have never done that if DH were alive because its not something he could have done and if we had a vacation I wanted to spend it with him. I also bought a kayak and went camping. I think a physical/ mental challenge like an ironman is fantastic, that's what I had in mind with the Grand Canyon hike, I felt like it would be healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 A whole year to train! I don't think it's weird that it's not something you would have done before. The loss that we've experienced changes us and our outlook. Good luck with your training! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursula Posted August 1, 2015 Share Posted August 1, 2015 Good on you , ironlady and not off topic at all. You are and will be an inspiration for yourself and others by setting yourself a goal and actively working towards achieving it! well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lmsmdm Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I so get this, but it has taken til the 4 yr mark for me. I have become involved in one of the at home business......my motivation is feeling financially pinched. In reality I am ok, and better off than many, but I don't want finances to be a fear. So, I took the leap....there are a select few who make money hand over fist, and I KNOW I can be one of them!! Anyway, yay you!!!! I get it, although we are pursuing a totally different goal, I would have NEVER done this if he were alive!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 ManutesGirl I think that is an awesome challange you're taking on! Having a goal to focus on, something new and outside your normal is such a healing and healthy thing. I am inspired by you and hope to keep setting new goals of my own. Keep us posted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddienhp Posted August 3, 2015 Share Posted August 3, 2015 Kudos ManutesGirl! It's not off topic. I know how it feels to be doing something that I wouldn't have done if DH was alive. I started a social skills enrichment group for children with special needs. My DH would not have been supportive of it. I'm sure he would have thought I was stretching myself too thin. One can argue that point but I know my son needs the extra help & support. I work with disabled adults too so I know where my son will end up without support. He is on the fence with his skill set. I am trying to help him develop independence & functional social skills. I wish you luck on your challenge. You prove we can overcome tragedy & heartache. We can live again. eileen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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