Wheelerswife Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 ...I talked to John over Facetime. It turns out that was the last time I heard his voice and saw his face. He died a few hours later in his sleep. Can it really be 21 months??? Almost 2 years? Sometimes, it feels like just yesterday. It was just 5 years ago that I moved to Kansas to begin my life with him. Here I am without him. My throat is tight. My chest just hurts. I keep getting reminders of the things we did together. University activities, football games, the community rocket launch and space week, the fresh air and blowing Kansas wind that reminds me of the nights we were camping. This all really happened, didn't it? I was really that happy. I was. Tonight, just feeling the loss, the emptiness, the disbelief. Sigh. Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SimiRed Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Oh Maureen, Big Huge Hugs!!! 2 years, almost...WOW! No, it doesn't seem possible. Difficult things take a long time to overcome and learn to live through, impossible things take a little longer. We all know no words will make it better, just know you are always in my thoughts. You're amazing, it's okay to to feel like you've been knocked down. {{{HUGS}}} I'm so sorry John was taken away from you way too soon! Hang in there, hold on to the strengths that John left with you. Love ya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedmensa Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 It really does feel like a dream at times, doesn't it? I wish it were as easy as going to sleep to get it back, not that sleep comes easy around here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Big hugs Maureen! There are those days when it's so hard to wrap your head and heart around it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I am so sorry your feeling this way and wish we could all wake up from the nightmare especially hard the days you feel it deep in your heart hugs to you today take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 ((((Maureen)))) Yesterday was 18 months for me... I just can't get my brain around it. How is that even possible? How is it that he's just not here?? This is never going to not suck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Sending you love and tight hugs filled with understanding, Maureen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 ((Wheelerswife)) 22 months. It feels like yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amor Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Wheelerswife: (((HUGS))), soak in the good memories. Yes it is true you were happy and able to enjoy your time with your Love. I hope you can be happy remembering those times and having new happy memories too! Amor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abitlost Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I was really that happy. I was. It feels cruel sometimes to have achieved that pinnacle of happiness only to have it stripped away. But you didn't really lose it; John's love is infused in you forever. I know that doesn't help much right now but that is what I try to remind myself of. Hugs, abl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjs1989 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Maureen, I am so very sorry you have gone through this brutality twice. It is effing unbelievable. I can't even imagine this feeling of emptiness (that I still feel after three years this month) doubled. I am just so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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