I"m Mad

[Guest k3songs]

I"m mad that my husband isn't here.  I mad that his life was cut short so early.  That all the things we planned to do after he retired will never happen,  In all the years since he's been gone, I have never been mad, never angry.  I have been dealing with it.  Some good days some bad.  Some days even thinking I'm okay, things are going well, will be okay.  But it's not okay, I'm sad and lonely and find myself thinking this is it.  I'm older and alone and that's how it's going to be.  I am not looking to date, it's not something I am interested in at this time.  I am just mad and sad that after all the years we had together and planned ahead that this is it.  Me, alone and missing him more than ever. My heart is broken and not sure it will ever be mended,  not like it was when he was here and we were whole.

[SoVerySad]

I'm sorry. I do understand the anger and feeling like the best part of my life is over. I wanted the future we planned. We expected we'd hit obstacles and challenges along the way, but we'd handle them together just as we always did. It isn't okay that we've been left to figure out new futures on our own, especially when our hearts are so broken. Sending you tight hugs of understanding...

[Beyondlife]

I've been mad for 5 years.  I think I always will be

[linda5]

I'm also mad.  My anger comes and goes ... but it really sticks on the important days ... like today.  I wonder if I'll ever be better than just "okay" for the rest of my life.  And, "okay" is good .. it's just lost all the sparkle that was supposed to be here.

[Captains wife]

I'm angry too. I was very angry in the first 2 years in particular but these past 2 years have been better. Sometimes it resurfaces and it's hard when it hits again. I think of what a mess my husband left behind for me to clean up, all the responsibilities and the things I found out after he died. It's really changed me but I am working hard to move forward in a positive way...even when life seems to be handing me some lemons lately. This recovery takes a long time : ( Sending widow support....

[Torn]

I'm FREAKING LIVID also,I'm pissed to be alone,that half my life has vanished from me & that I find myself in such a screwed up situation.

  Raised a child & married her off,experienced empty nest syndrome,got past that , only to loose my wife.

  I've been trying to not loose my temper but dammit,it's very hard.

  20 months & I hate this.

 

Thanks for the thread

[Still Standing]

I'd say I was angry when loosing DH But loosing my son three years later I am MAD.I have so many questions that just cannot be answered to my satisfaction.I don't want to become a bitter old woman.

[Wheelerswife]

I'd say I was angry when loosing DH But loosing my son three years later I am MAD.I have so many questions that just cannot be answered to my satisfaction.I don't want to become a bitter old woman.

 

I'd be mad, too.  I was angry after my second husband died...for so many reasons...including being mad for him.  He had so much more to live for.

 

Hugs,

 

Maureen

[Still Standing]

Thank you Maureen.

[Trying]

For me, the anger is harder to deal with than the sadness because I usually end up feeling guilty for being angry at someone who is dead.  The anger comes less often these days thankfully but recently I have been very angry that DH is not here to help our son get through some difficult times.  DH dropped out of college and was able to turn his life around, he should be here guiding our son, he would understand way better than I do what he is going through and how to turn it around.