Prom

[trying2breathe]

My daughter, junior in high school, is attending her school prom this Saturday night.  She's going as a single with friends, some coupled and others not. 

 

Prom ends at 11:00, she is asking to stay out until 2:00 a.m. for after parties.  Yikes!  My initial reaction is absolutely not.  I've let her know that I will pick her up wherever she is, but that 2:00 is too late.  I am worried about alcohol, possible drug use and teenage shenanigans, etc. at the after parties. 

 

Does anybody have experience with this?  What is a reasonable curfew for prom night? 

 

 

 

[BrokenHeart2]

How old is she T2B?

[momtokam]

I'll be facing this in June with my senior.

I think you know your daughter best and the kids she hangs around with.

 

In my case, my daughter's friends are good kids I don't expect anything too crazy at the after parties. She is a smart kid and knows when she is beyond her comfort level. Her school is very academic and there are few parties going on there. I have no issue with 2 am for her.

 

So much depends on their social environment and their friends. I think that is the most important factor in this type of decision.

 

Good luck. I know I'll still be anxious until she get home in any case!

[Trying]

I would it depends on where the after party is, can you check in with the parents who are hosting to make sure they will be there and that they won't allow alcohol?

[Virgo]

I agree! It depends on where the party is, her friends, and your daughter. My oldest is also a junior, 16. If it was just her friends fine, but boys too? I would want to know who, and if their parents would be home.

 

Now my middle daughter I think will be a different story. I would want to go with her. I'm hoping her friends change some as she enters high school next year. She agrees about her one friend, so that's a good sign. Phew

[trying2breathe]

My daughter is 17, we're relatively new to this area and I don't know the other kids well or the parents.  There are no set plans on where the kids will go after prom, from what I understand the kids can hop from party to party.  As much as I don't agree, alcohol at teen parties here unfortunately is a given. 

 

DD is a good kid but swayed by a crowd, I'm afraid that she'll get caught up in some trouble. 

 

[Portside]

DD is a good kid but swayed by a crowd, I'm afraid that she'll get caught up in some trouble.

 

Well, if this is the way it is then your answer is clear.

 

"No. Be home at midnight." (Or whatever works for your family.)

[serpico]

Is there any sort of organized after-prom party?  Our junior/senior parents have one at a local rec center or bowling alley and give away a ton of prizes so pretty much all the kids go.

 

I'm probably more free-range than most, but I would allow my child to stay out until 2am on Prom night.  She could get into trouble, sure, but that could happen on any night, not just Prom night.

[trying2breathe]

I'm tempted to give a midnight curfew, or pick her up right after prom.  An early curfew seems too restrictive though. 

 

I don't know of any planned post-prom events, and believe that parents are staying out of organizing anything.  True that she can get into trouble any night, prom night I think presents extra challenges as many high school parties are being planned. 

 

I wish I could be more free-range, DD's social life is super important to her and she's been trying to find her way with this new group of kids.  Ughhh - no easy answers. 

 

 

 

[Mrskro]

I would be tempted to split the difference.  Midnight seems to soon after prom ends, by the time they get organized and leave prom, and 2 am seems to late. 

 

I think socially the after prom parties are fairly important to kids and would have the talk about safety,  Do not get into a car with anyone drinking/drugs etc.  Picking her up straight from prom could be embarrassing and if she's just starting to fit in may not help. 

 

I'm lucky my 16 year old has a great head on her shoulders and none of her friends drink; and I know most of their parents. 

[trying2breathe]

Thanks all for the responses, I appreciate the feedback as I feel so alone on this.  I'm going with a curfew compromise - I'll be picking her up at 1:00, and I have expectation of no use of alcohol or other substance. 

 

I'm nervous and hoping that all goes well tonight. 

[trying2breathe]

Everything went well, DD was home before curfew!  She and her friends went party hopping and happily stayed out of trouble.  Relieved! 

[Mrskro]

Trying ....That's awesome.  So glad it went well!!!

[kjs1989]

Yeah, I don't blame you for being nervous. Like a lot of communitites these days, our school does an after prom party until 2 in the morning. It is a ton of work for volunteer parents and the planning starts in September. Well worth it though, with really cool prizes like electronics, college gear, gift cards, etc. There is entertainment like a hypnotist, carnival type games, inflatables, and of course, food.

 

Kids being kids, they still want to go somewhere with their friends afterward; they want to make it an all night event. So a lot of parents agree to host and end up with a house full of kids camped out on the floor. There is really no "party hopping" anymore around here, thankfully.

 

I would ask lots of questions about who, what, and when.  Don't be afraid to touch base with parents of her friends. Sometimes I found out they knew things my kids had not told me. And I think  if it was my daughter I would make her check in with me every hour with a text.  And yeah, since nothing is planned, I agree 1:00 should be the curfew, unless she plans to spend the night with a friend, but make sure that is verified with those parents and they are on the same page about curfew. Every hour  thereafter just presents more time for boredom to set in and dumb decisions to be made.