Blue14 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I went to the gym today for a run. After I finished, my glasses weren't on the little shelf thing on the treadmill where I put them. I started looking and eventually had to get someone who works there to help me try to look under the treadmill and over the front where they could have fallen to the floor below. No joy and I was starting to feel a bit frantic. Then the woman on the next treadmill asks if I'm looking for a pair of glasses. They were on her treadmill. I had completely forgot that I started on that one and switched because the belt felt a bit dodgy. I know this normal, or as normal as anything is right now, but I seem to be doing stuff like this all the time these days. I miss my brain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I think I say the phrase "I miss my brain" every single day still. I am told it comes back and to some degree it has in some areas, but I am am nowhere near where I once was. So frustrating! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue14 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Thanks. It helps to hear it's not just me. I've just realized I forgot to feed my dog. :::head desk::: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 No it's definitely not just you. Give it time and it will come back eventually. I'm still waiting lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swilson Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Glad you found the glasses, like you I miss my pre widower mind. I quit pouring tea into a used milk jug after I poured tea on my cereal one morning not so long ago ??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Once we get the "WARNING: Driver has wid brain" bumper stickers finalized, we need to mail them out with every registration. I decided this morning that I needed to start making lists in order to keep up with all the things I need to accomplish. Found a little notebook I could keep up with, sat down to make my "to do" list for the day... couldn't remember a dang thing I meant to put on it. @@ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 This happens to everyone, unfortunately. My best suggestion is to come up with a simple reminder system and always use it - don't trust your memory. For me, this includes a to-do list synced between my Google calendar and smartphone, that allows me to set alarm reminders. I've also been known to leave myself Post-it notes on the dash of my car or by the coffee maker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdarrah1130 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I keep a steno pad and pen with me at all times and write everything down. I actually started this when my husband was in the hospital to make sure I understood what the doc's were saying. Sandy - E's wife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostMyCharles Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 My brain has started switching words on me. I'll be saying something to my daughter like "You need to brush your hair" and end up with "You need to brush your homework." Cracks her up, but makes me want to stop talking lest I say something really oddball, and in the wrong company! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy0520 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I thought there was only baby brain, until this whole widow thing happened. I seem to forget what day it is most of the time! I'm hoping it eventually gets back to "normal." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donswife Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 Its so true this brain dead part. I was driving to a close friends house , something I had done tons of times and got lost took me a bit to get back on the right track . Losing keys that are really right where I put them just didnt see them there two seconds before. so you are not alone at all and yes list have become my new best friend (when I remember to bring them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mixelated Posted March 24, 2015 Share Posted March 24, 2015 I had been keeping myself productive both at work and home. with the Bullet Journal method for about six months before my husband died. Looking at it, it's like a textbook example of a disorganizing brain event. Before: tidy lists and columns, checkmarks, thorough notes, organized progress. After: scrawls all over the page, no dates, forget the bullets, no checkmarks, days at a time skipped. I can't even remember where my bullet journal notebook is half the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Not just you! Still looking for it! I keep trying to put pantry items in the fridge and fridge items in the pantry. It keeps things interesting, if not "fresh". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 Just don't put the sour cream in the dishwasher! I did lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrMommy Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Yep....I call it trauma brain. I am a year and a half out and still patiently await the return of my memory! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kealoha Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Baby brain + widow brain = ... now where was I again? Was coming back from a walk with my dad and DD, and instead of saying, "Grandpa is going to take off his shoes," what came out was "Grandpa is going to put on his shirt.". wtf. I am really watching what I say at work. Used to be so articulate and now it's like I had a brain transplant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mixelated Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Driving in this widow-fog is not good. I almost rear-ended a cop today. There's no way to get around having to drive! Any tips on how to snap out of it for the time it takes to get from Point A to Point B?? m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ursula Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 happens to me all the time. most of my widow-brain incidents I have forgotten too. I also have real blanks now, total memory gaps, loss of words, something I have never experienced in my life before. It's slightly worrying if it happens in class in front of the student when they ask a rather straightforward question... might just appear a bit demented... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracelet Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 After about a year of widow brain, my brain came back and I've been able to do a great job at work. It will happen for you too. It just takes time, and some adaptations in the way you organise yourself. I still have my days where I have to announce to my colleagues that I'm having a widow brain day (meaning I'm sad and distracted, perhaps because of a significant date approaching) but for the most part I'm good. There are chunks of time, especially from my early days of widowhood, that have just totally disappeared from my brain because of trauma. I think I'm actually grateful for that. Here are some ways I have organised myself, but bear in mind I have no children, live in the city and work in a corporate job so this might not work for all. Sync up your ipad, iphone and work calendars and put EVERYTHING in there. Spend some time figuring out which days of the month money comes into my bank account and money goes out for bills etc. Put that in the calendar. Set up automatic payments if you can. Break down bigger tasks and list the small chunks that are necessary to bring it together. This makes the task far less daunting and you can tick off a bit at a time and see the progress you're actually making. In terms of work productivity, when taking notes at a meeting, draw a horizontal line and a vertical line to split your page into quarters. Top left, I take notes of the conversation key points. Top right is for when my mind wanders because the meeting is dull and I want to use the time to plan something else. Bottom left is for ideas sparked by the conversation that I want to explore further. Bottom right is for actions arising. That means I have a nice clear "To do" list and a "to think about" list without having to weed through lots of scribbles to figure out what's important after the meeting. Have ONE to do list - not lots of scraps here and there. Get a big pad. For my to do list, I have a target date for each item so I can prioritise and plan my time. I also have a list of "Expecting responses from" so I know who to chase and who I'm relying on for stuff. If you can't sleep, use the time to figure out what you/your family will wear the next day and lay it out. Saves you brain time in the morning when you are tired from not having slept properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mixelated Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Aaaand today, I went around all day with both my shirt and sweater on inside out. Nobody said anything, including my kid. ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callobg Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Mixelated, funny! This just made my night! Thank you. Hang in there everyone, we're another day closer! Love y'all. LSC, I love and miss you dearly...my sweet baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jess Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Aaaand today, I went around all day with both my shirt and sweater on inside out. Nobody said anything, including my kid. ..... I did this once, but a coworker said "Jess, you know I love you and think you are great... but honey, your shirt is inside out" Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadiangirl Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 Going back to this thread, as today in preparation for (last-minute) taxes, was trying to recreate what my child did last summer while I was working. I have no idea. I have almost no recollection of what the schedule of summer camps and recreational activities was. Just blank. Makes this kind of tiresome admin work even worse! Total widow brain those first months... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loquaciousloki Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Last weekend I realized that I hadn't paid my gas bill in 3 months. I also didn't pay my car insurance or one of my credit card bills last month. I'm going to work on a calendar and auto pay tomorrow. This widow brain thing is awfully annoying. This is the second time I forgot to pay the credit card bill so they wouldn't take the late fee off a second time. I think it's the second time for the car insurance, too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Posted April 28, 2015 Share Posted April 28, 2015 The air in our house was feeling a bit stuffy the other day, so I kicked the heat pump fan from "auto" to "on" to circulate for a bit. I remembered to turn it back to "auto". Three days later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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