Text messages

[Bunny]

Last weekend I accidentally deleted all the texts exchanged between bf and myself- poof! almost three years worth, chronicling a friendship that slowly turned into a romantic relationship.  I called the company today to confirm what I already knew- they keep no records. I know other wids have paid to get them recovered, but I'm trying to just be okay with it. Let it go. I'm actually surprised at how calm I've been about it (for the most part).

 

I've always been sentimental- keeping old journals, letters, cards, miscellaneous little keepsakes- so saving those messages was an extension of that tendency, I suppose. I didn't discover the joy of texting until after widowhood, when it became so much easier than having to talk to people, so I have none from my husband; he was not very fond of most modern technology anyway so I don't have any e-mails from him either. I remember when the phone company accidentally deleted his outgoing message- right before he died, after he'd lost the ability to speak. It was devastating for me at the time.

 

The widow in me thinks- what if bf dies soon and all of that is lost to me forever?! But the widow in me also knows they're just some texts- they are not him, they are not us. I keep my memories with me regardless. I've slowly been getting rid of my sentimental collections- whittling them down to what is most special to me- and hopefully making it easier to dispose of after I'm dead. I'm much more practical about it now, which I'm grateful for since I know widowhood can trigger hoarding (a tendency that exists on both sides of my family). I'll never be a minimalist, but I no longer put so much emotional stock into mere things.

[tybec]

Thank you for this writing, sharing.  I, too, and am letting go of such things of my DH.  Paid for an extra cell phone far too long to keep messages.  Need a new phone, using his that survived the accident strangely. But it is slow, out dated and will see its time soon.  I appreciate your thoughts in helping me let go, too.

[SemperFidelis]

Oh Bunny, I completely understand where you are coming from....And so totally admire your journey to let go of some attachment to this stuff too.

 

My husband and I shared a phone so we don't have texts..... But he was a wonderful story teller and posted a lot on Facebook. In the first month following his death I went through and read every Facebook post he had....and hand picked the memorable ones and put them into a word document.  I printed off a bunch to give out at his ceremony. I have leftover packets and it is such a comfort to pull one out and read over his writings. 

 

 

[kjs1989]

My old phone still has the last text messages from my husband.  Just really casual stuff like "running late, be there soon." So surreal to think how normal life was...until it wasn't, and the county coroner was at my front door.

 

 

[Kater]

My old phone still has the last text messages from my husband.  Just really casual stuff like "running late, be there soon."

 

Mine too. 

[MauiMermaid]

My old phone still has the last text messages from my husband.  Just really casual stuff like "running late, be there soon." So surreal to think how normal life was...until it wasn't, and the county coroner was at my front door.

 

This. I miss the innocence of my life before I got the news.

[MauiMermaid]

((((Hugs)))) Bunny, I get it. xoxo

[TornApart]

Oh Bunny, ouch. As someone that has kept all the texts, I can imagine that feeling when your BF's texts disappeared. I kept texting my husband every day for months after he was gone.

 

You are right, the texts aren't the relationship. You have the memories. I don't read the texts, just feel security in having them if I ever want to read them.