A question, especially to readers -

[marjoe]

I've always been a sci fi geek, but not in books - that changed a few years ago when I first read the Hunger Games. Off to the races - then all the Harry Potters, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Dune series - nothing like waiting 10 or 50 years until the books have been written to read them, lol. But this is my question: I am loving these series, because they take me out of myself, and also, in a good way, cause me to question, to think, to imagine. Does anyone else feel that reading fantasy/sci/fi takes you out of yourself, in a good way? Or not even that, but in a different way?

[Stargazer74]

I enjoy those kinds of fiction myself; Divergent series, LOTR, GoT, pretty much anything Steven King.  Yes, it does take you out of yourself, and I think that's what the author's goal is.  It usually is a good thing for me to be able to get my mind off of everything for a while and escape for a bit.

[MrsMisterman]

In my first 6 (maybe 9 months) of widowhood,  I just could not watch TV or movies. Just couldn't focus long enough to follow any type of plot progression or dialog. But I could read. So what if I had to re- read a paragraph 3 times, or re read a chapter the next day because my widda brain rejected retaining basic information?

 

I think I went through the entire Boston Public Library young adult section. The more futuristic and dystopian the better.  Everything you cited and more. Barely remember titles. Forest of Hands and Teeth, Knife of Never Letting Go. Surviving a really scary future made my scary future not so scary. I would throw in some heartbreaking teenage angst too for a change of pace. 13 Reasons Why, if I stay, Fault in Our Stars.

 

A friend and fellow widow here used to tease me that a bespeckled Libraian was going to show up on my door or send the police for a well-being check. Expecting to find a depressed teen girl. Nope.  Just a 48 year old heartbroken widow.

[Guest Munsen]

Pre-widowhood, I was a bookworm...one of the many nicknames hubby had for me and I loved all sorts of genres. Sci Fi was a big part of my reading experience though I tried Dune years ago and it never caught my imagination. Same with Pratchet's Discworld series (though I guess that is more fantasy).

 

I was even learning on my own some heavy theology stuff including trying to teach myself Greek. Then came widowhood and like an electric bolt to the brain, I lost so much of my ability to concentrate and assimilate what I was reading. I went from a speed reader to a plodder and even then I would read and re-read only to realize a page or so later than I had no idea what I'd read!

 

However, TV bothered me lots too in the beginning and I wanted to understand this grief thing so I did get some grief books and read and re-read. I also dropped my reading levels to simpler books aka Young Readers. Went back and re-read old classics that were familiar as well. Avoided reading some of the books and genres I once liked (eg Crime mysteries by Anne Rule, murder mysteries, etc).

 

I tried reading Game of Thrones in that first year after losing hubby, kept getting lost in the characters, etc. so put it aside. A good example of the difference between the old and new me, is when I broke my leg, I asked the kids to bring me my LOTR series to read. I used to read it in several weeks no problem....it took me nearly the full 6 months to get through it post-widowhood. My kids were shocked at how long it took me.

 

Just over 4 years later, I find that I'm back to reading more. I still haven't gotten back into my theology books yet but my comprehension skills, concentration and ability to sit for more than fifteen minutes is coming back and so is my speed. Prior to widowhood, I never would have guessed that our brain could be so affected by grief and shock. But like my leg, it is like re-learning and re-gaining that old strength.

 

I have a library card too and I have used our system to the max over the years but there was a definite hiatus for the first year or two after widowhood! Though that is coming back as well.

 

I have also tried a few series that I might not have tried before. I even discovered some writers that I hadn't known but now enjoy. If you like fantasy, I liked the Shannara series by Terry Brook and discovered a writer named Stephen Lawhead who has a Robin Hood series that approaches that legend from a different angle (the books are ';The King Raven' trilogy) plus I liked his 'Song of Albion' series. I avoid Stephen King because I want escape not fear and that is more heightened post-widowhood, though that is another issue that is getting better.  I agree he is a good writer; I'm just a wimp! lol

 

I did just get David Eddings "Belgariad" series as someone recommended it so hope its good. I hadn't tried Divergent as I was afraid it was another Twilight series but did enjoy the Hunger Games.

 

Books are a good escape and they do help fill those extra lonely hours in the evening. I'm always willing to try any recommendations too.

 

 

 

 

[Wheelerswife]

I've not been a huge reader.  I went through a couple of self-help stages in my life, but those were really in my 20's.  I went back to school 2 years after my first husband died and I've pushed myself through reading textbooks and other assigned reading, including reading Randy Pausch's book "The Last Lecture" on the day I received my cancer diagnosis.  I struggle with reading, but deadlines make a difference.  I couple times I have tried to jump-start reading with romance-y novels that are short and not-too-complex. 

 

My husband John was a voracious reader and the fastest reader I'd ever met.  He just inhaled books from many different genres.  Some of his favorites were science fiction and philosophy.  He slowed up a bit after his wife died, but before long, he was reading again.  I wish THAT had rubbed off on me!  Nope.

 

Maureen

[marjoe]

Thank you guys, for your responses. I wanted to add something as well - I couldn't read a thing for at least the first year and a half. Nada. Just couldn't concentrate or focus on a storyline at all.  I would get books out of the library and return them unread. It was disturbing and frightening to me, as I had been an avid reader all my life. And then - it slowly came back. I just wanted to say this in case any one earlier on is reading...

 

Munsen - I was a huge Stephen King fan and got turned off - didn't read anything of his for many years. However - I highly, highly recommend 11/22/63. It's awesome, combining history (he did a a lot of research for this one) and the supernatural, in a way that only King can do it. Marsha

[linda5]

Thanks you all for posting, as it showed me I'm normal!  I loved to read post-widowhood.  Always had my head in a book.  I haven't been able to read anything other than widow self help books now.  I'm hoping pretty soon I'll be able to read just for the fun of it again.

[Jen]

I've been a confirmed bookworm my whole life-- started reading when I was 3 and never stopped. Jim and I had that in common, and some of my happiest memories are of lying in bed together, each with our noses in our respective books.

 

It hasn't been the escape for me that it used to be since he died, and I hate that. I miss losing myself in a good book. I still read, but it's not the immersive experience it used to be. It works for a little while, but not long enough.

 

Jim loved hard sci-fi-- Herbert, Heinlein, Asimov-- and a few days after he died I picked up his copy of Dune. In the weeks that followed, I waded through the whole series-- I can't say I loved it, but I felt like I understood him better after I was done. Then I picked up the first Harry Potter book-- told myself that I would finish the series, then (sorry, this might be triggering, but it's how I felt) I could kill myself. Got through Deathly Hallows... thought about it... and started Stephen King's Dark Tower series again. Now I'm onto Jean Auel's Earth's Children series (what Jim used to call anthro-porn, lol)-- six more great big books that require virtually no thought, since I've read them enough to have practically memorized them.

 

Long story short (too late), I haven't been able to read much of anything new-- King's latest two books, but that's about it. I keep re-reading long, involved things that I've read before-- LotR will probably be next. It's not exactly satisfying, but it's better than not reading at all. (Or reading my statistics text, which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now, so-- good night!)

[ThalginsLuv]

Hubby was a huge fantasy fiction reader and I read several his books. He collected Ravenloft series and other D&D style stories plus everything from Terry Brooks (Sword of Truth and Shanara Series).  I saved some in hopes to read them in the future.

 

When he died I read all the True Blood books, most of the Clockwork and Immortal Instruments (just got the last in these series). Currently working on Game of Thrones and want to get Hunger Games and Divergent series.

 

I stopped reading Stephen King about 6 years ago (lost interest) and Dean Koontz is too easy for me.  NEVER had an interest in Twilight series.

 

 

[allan]

Reading is my escape from reality,Christopher paolini's eragon series is one of my favourites when it comes to fantasy

[whiteirony]

I'm over 2 years out and have yet to finish a book ... I LOVED to read before. I'm a huge John Sanford fan but haven't kept up with his Prey series since DH died. I really do miss sitting down to a good book and finishing it within the day or week. *sigh* Heck, I can't even sit down to skim a magazine any more.

[BrokenHeart2]

I'm at 22 months and I've tried so many times to read a book. Used to be a most avid reader as DH was too.  I haven't finished a book in over 2 yrs. I must admit I'm glad to hear I'm not alone and don't feel so 'out of it' learning this.

Thank you and hugs.

May we find the comfort in a good book eventually!

[Trying]

Same for me, I was an avid reader, I was in a book club for 13 years that broke up right after DH died.  I always read the bookclub book and usually at least one more book every month.  Last summer I managed to read a few books on vacation but then back to not reading again.  I miss it but my concentration just isn't there.  I'm taking the kids a way for a few days over Easter and hope to be able read a book while we are gone. 

[Carey]

Ive always LOVED to read. I would get in trouble in school for reading; not smoking or ditching class lol.  When Chad left for Saudi I found I didn't watch TV as much because it was all stuff we had been watching together and it wasn't the same without him.  So spare time was spent Skyping him and reading. I'll never forget, I was in the middle of a book where a woman came home and found her husband dead when Chad died. Like I was right in the middle and I was sufficiently freaked.  I couldn't read for a LONG time which made me very sad. I wondered if that joy would ever come back. A high school acquaintance found me on facebook and we became very very close friends. He is a civil war reenactor and history buff and he got me reading things I'd never read before. Then I reached for an old favorite. Gone With The Wind. I read it for the first time when I was 9 and have read it at least 20 times. I figured I wouldn't have to concentrate too hard because I practically knew it by heart.  From the civil war stuff I branched back out into Philippa Gregory who writes about medieval England royalty , they are fiction based on truth and I LOVE them.  I found that working on keeping the who's whos straight in my head gave me something to focus on. I'm still working on those and just recently started Game of Thrones. I've never been one for fantasy but john said if I loved the medieval stuff I'd like it, so I'm trying but I agree with what someone else said, the characters are many and the comprehension is slim lol  I guess what I'm getting at is that books really help me now.  I actually like the idea of simpler stories too like Young Adult.  I think I'd like to go back and read some childhood favorites like The Secret Garden, Bridge to Terabithia, The Outsiders , etc.

[Guest look2thesky]

I watch incredibly old black and white horror sci fi movies.

A good GODZILLA movie does wonders !

[DonnaP]

I used to read a lot, in the time before I became a widow. Since losing Mick, I can't keep my focus long enough to stay awake and read. I have found that I can listen to books on tape, while driving, and did a fair amount of that for awhile. I love fantasy and science fiction, and I agree that they give you an "escape" of sorts, taking you out of your current reality and into another world, temporarily. I am also a writer, and have long considered writing a novel. Still waiting for that "perfect" time, and am realizing that there is no perfect time...

[lcoxwell]

I would like to pipe in as a former avid reader, as well.  I have only manage to read one book in the last year, since my Kenneth died.  Part of it is a lack of concentration, and part of it is a lack of time.  Trying to do it all, along with my own medical issues, leaves me too busy and too tired to be able to sit and read.  I really miss books.