singinmomo4

I think just saying you will love being a mom to her but you also know that her mom is still with her in her heart and will always be her mom also. Congratulations!

Vice President Of The United States

RWS, what you are describing sounds like what the two young men I spoke of refer to as "defense mode" and they say you need to get your child out of defense mode before they will be receptive to anything. They have a DVD just on that one aspect. I hope you are able to find some information that helps you. Also, one thing I explain to my son is, having Aspergers doesn't mean there is something "wrong" with him. Everyone has their issues and "quirks" and we all have to learn how to learn to navigate life based on our own individual issues. He still is very negative about himself but he's getting better. (((((RWS))))))

I need my sex drive to go to sleep for a while. I'd really like to just not have it at the moment. That said, sex is important but not the most important. I want someone to build a life with, who I can trust and depend on and who trusts and depends on me. A partner in every sense of the word. My sex life with my husband wasn't always the best, I would have liked more, and I've had amazing sex since being widowed but I need more than that. I want the partnership aspect I had before. I'm just not sure if that's in my future but I can't imagine a relationship without it. Love is so much more than sex, passion. More than anything else, I miss having an amazing life partner and the stability that gives.

I am so sorry to hear about this RWS. I have a 13 year old with Aspergers. The best thing that every happened for him is when I managed to get him into a school in the area that is for kids like him, The Vanguard School, in Malvern, PA, on the public school's dime. He has improved so much in the 1 year he's been there. One resource that might be helpful though is Asperger Experts. They are 2 young men (20's) with Aspergers, who give advice on how to help those with Aspergers. I bought one of their tape sets and that has given me access to a private FB group of parents that has also been helpful and often, the two young men that run it will comment as well as parents. Also there are a few adults in the group that have Aspergers that offer help. Check them out here: http://www.aspergerexperts.com/

I guess I'm kind of odd on this one but I don't consider our widow status as a bomb to drop. It's just part of me and I've always talked about it freely. I say just let it come up as part of the cpnversation. If you aren't nervous about it he most likely won't be and if he is then on to the next. Good luck, have fun and enjoy yourself!

Thank you everyone. I know the people here get it. I talked with my friend tonight and she asked if it was okay if she sat me with Lynne, the friend of hers that I had met and I said yes. Lynne is very nice and we do have things in common to talk about since she also has a son with aspergers. It's why our friend introduced us. Her son also goes to the same school that Nick started going to a year ago. I'm not sure if Lynne will have a date or not. I'm pretty sure she was getting a divorce from her husband. We'll just have to see how it goes.

I've gone to several weddings since becoming widowed. Two of them were for wonderful widowed friends and they were the absolute best. It was like a big bago where we celebrated one of our own finding love again. A third one was a very small affair of someone from church. I knew a lot of the people there, they knew me, knew my situation, I was comfortable. Now I have another wedding coming up. This one is for the daughter of a friend of mine. This one I'm kind of stressing about. No widowed friends to be with, I don't expect to know anyone except the bride, her mom and sisters and maybe one friend I meant through my friend, the mom. I'm nervous going to this wedding and not having a date. As I said, I was fine at the other ones but this one will be different. A wedding full of couples and people I don't know and the one person I really know, the mother of the bride, will of course be busy. I'm feeling very unsure of myself, lonely and missing having Rick here. Rick was perfect at these sorts of things. He could get along with, make conversation with, absolutely anyone, anywhere. I'm just afraid I will be there, sitting alone, watching people dance and missing Rick.

My tip is about how to make the money you have work better for you. I opened Kasasa checking and savings accounts with a bank that isn't local, but still located in my state. I have my checks direct deposited to this account but still have a small local bank account if I need it. Kasasa accounts pay high rates of interest if you do a few things every month. In my instance I earn a rate of 2.75% on amounts up to $10,000 and .50% for over $10,000 on my checking and .75% on amounts up to $10,000 and .50% over 10,000 in my savings account. To get these rates, all I have to do is have 10 debit card purchases of any amount post and settle per month, have 1 automatic payment or direct deposit and use e-statements. If I do these 3 things I earn the high interest rates, get reimbursed for any ATM charges from any bank and the account is totally free, no minimum balance requirements and the free checking is the case whether you met the qualification criteria each month or not. So I have no risk (FDIC insured) and I am able to earn 2.75% each month on up to $10,000. To find a bank that offers Kasasa accounts in your state go to: https://www.depositaccounts.com/ and click the box that says "find your account now" Then there will be a box to pick your state from a drop down menu. The banks with their interest rates will be listed and you can check each one individually. I've had my account for at least a year now and I've done really well and made the high rate of interest each month.

Ok, got serious the last two days and did a major cleaning/purging of my family room. Probably not as much of a purge as I should but I have a box full of books to donate to the local school for a book sale they have coming up and threw away a bunch of little piddly stuff that just seems to accumulate when you have kids. I feel like I'm on a roll! Hopefully I can get back in gear with it again once I have another day off. I've told my kids the room better stay clean after all the work I've done. Heads will roll if it doesn't!

Oh MS, I am so sorry! Pru is such a sweetheart and I know how much you love her. (((((HUGS)))) and love to you. :'(

Been a while since I've posted on this thread so I'm bumping it back up as I add a few things. Shredded several old or replaced credit cards Threw out instruction manuals to many replaced appliances Threw out old house phones that don't work anymore Threw out a pooper scooper I bought that never worked well. Sold a dog crate that the dog has outgrown. It will be out of the garage this afternoon. When my son get's home I'm sending him to the shed to get the ancient lawn sweeper I just replaced to put out for the trash guys tomorrow. A couple of weeks ago I donated a walker I was given when I had my leg injury but was barely used. Now if I can just keep purging on a regular basis I might see some progress around here!

Congrats MTK! I remember when I bought my first car by myself, it was so exciting! Now I'm on my 2nd car. The first was for my son, a used 2005 SAAB, this one was for me, a 2013 GMC Terrain. It's very empowering going out and doing this big things on our own, isn't it?

I'm glad you're feeling better after a good night's sleep. We all need to vent sometimes and, as you already know, this is where everyone understands exactly what you are feeling. I also get very overwhelmed with the enormity of everything I need to do, everything I'm not able to do and just the day in, day out part of every day life. I also prefer to be an optimist but find it much harder now. I was always the one encouraging Rick when he worried (he was always worrying about something) and now, I feel like I've taken on his worry! We're all right here with you and ready to give you all the ((((hugs)))) and listening ears you need knowing you will be here for us when we come in and need them.

LOL! You guys crack me up! Momtokam - I always roll my eyes at the "walks on the beach" posts too. I mean, sure, walks on the beach are nice but with kids still at home, how much beach walking can a person do? Not to mention, my extremely fair skin burns if I just look at the sun out a window. Lmsmdm - I'm so sorry to hear about your doubts. "Big Guy" seemed very nice and funny. ((((BIG HUGS)))) nonesuch - I might have to take you up on your dare just to get some more laughs from the responses I would get. BTW, I saw your bago post for NH and immediately thought "Hmmm, a nonesuch bago huh? Might have to make a road trip up for that one!" Don't know if I can swing it or not but you are one of the wids I've always wanted to meet. Portside, I can always count on you for a laugh, but I have to admit, I wasn't expecting the Amazon link. Fortunately I didn't spit all over my keyboard. Love you guys! This is where I come to post the stuff I'd never have the guts to post on FB. ;D

How's this? Widowed 52 yr old mom of 4 children (2 grown) looking for male who has a job, is willing to do yard work, home repairs and likes kids. I offer a paid for home, daily sex, cooked meals and the ability to work the points game for free travel. Think it would work? Yes, I'm kidding......or maybe I'm not......I am really growing weary of yard work and home repairs.

Incredibly, totally, AWESOME!!!! And those that aren't supportive? Fuggedaboudem!

Does he have a brother?

Karen, you were missed and you missed a wonderful time. Too Soon and lmsmdm, you really did a wonderful job, thank you for putting it together! And adp, the man of the hour, it was great meeting you!

Address please!

. You don't need to do anything. For many months, after getting the kids on the bus in the mornings, I would fall into a crying heap, fall asleep and wake up just in time to get them off the bus. Don't be afraid to tell you church that you could still use meals. Allow yourself to cry, to do nothing, to scream (when the kids aren't home, that's what I did). ((((((HUGS)))))) Take care of yourself, make sure you drink plenty of water, remember, everything you are feeling is completely normal.

I kind of agree with Bear on this one (that happens so rarely). For some reason we women tend to feel we need to explain things in detail and people, in general, are far too nosy. I need to work on my short answers too.

I just got some hours on Saturday for work I didn't want to pass up. However, I get done at 1:30. I will try to come out, with little ones along for the ride, after I get off. I might not even take time to get changed and come in my work clothes! So how does a Pasta Salad sound? I think I can make that easily and it should travel well.

Great news! Congratulations!

It is. I just felt like I was whining so I deleted it. If I could have completely deleted it I would have.