singinmomo4

((((((DEEDEE))))) I am glad you found your way here. My heart breaks for you but you are in a good place. There is a lot of love and understanding here. My husband died over 5 years ago and I can't imagine where I'd be if I hadn't connected with this wonderful group of people. I'm glad you have people supporting you. (((((MORE HUGS))))))

Jessica that's great! And yes, Charles would be very proud I'm sure. I hope you are also proud of yourself because you should be. Good job!

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Especially in those early days, driving in the car is where most of the tears happened, I think because the mindlessness of driving makes it possible for all the memories to swell up. And Arkansas is an extremely beautiful place. I live in SE Pennsylvania now but grew up in NW Arkansas. I go back when I'm able to visit my family there.

((((((MS))))))) Funny how those memories hit out of the blue and completely throw us off our axis.

Welcome back Riggers!

I also hated being told I was so strong. I heard it all the time. All I could think was that they didn't see me when I was alone, rolled up in a ball, screaming and crying. I'm sure they wouldn't see me as strong then.

Pancreatic Cancer wid here. 2 months from diagnosis to his death, 3 months if you add in the month it took for them to diagnose it. I felt we didn't even get the chance to fight. Watching him in the agony he was in for those 2 months and especially the last one, and being completely helpless was hell on earth.

Rob, I get it. Months after Rick died I would shout to the universe, to Rick and to God "Enough all ready! Come back NOW!". Of course it didn't work any better than your son's potions. I also wrote an email to him one night. I sent it to Rick(last name)@heaven.com. It never bounced back as undelivered so I liked to thin that somehow he got it. (((((HUGS))))) to you and your precious boy.

Well, I'm glad it was unpinned. That took a lot of the focus off of the thread. When it was pinned at the top of the page it did make it a "main focus" because it was always at the top and highlighted. I don't know if I would describe myself as charitable to the founders, I just really want the start of this board to be on a more positive note and at the time I wrote my comment it seemed more focus was on anger over how the old site shut down than on the wonderful new site we have. I'm glad to see that seems to have turned around a bit. I guess with all the turmoil in my life lately, how the old site closed down and losing the archived records just seems very insignificant lately in comparison especially now that we have the new site. I wasn't particularly happy with the proboards site but this one makes me smile. I have a lot on my plate right now, things most people don't know that I may write about later in another post but it just really puts things into perspective and makes me thankful for what is instead of what isn't. I might not feel that way if my life wasn't completely upside down right now. Maybe that's a silver lining within all the turmoil, it keeps me grounded about the things that are truly important. There's only so much stress and anxiety one person can take so when I'm able to let some of the lesser anxieties go, that's a good thing.

Agreeing with everyone else here. It will need to go to probate. Unfortunately I'm thinking that the wife, although they had not been together for 5 years, will get everything since they were not divorced. Good advice though not to take the money from his account.

LOL! Great story Mac! Thanks for the smile!

1. I have the day off! 2. The sun is shinning! 3. The Widda Board is up and running!

Good luck! I'm looking forward to reading you got the job!

I don't think it matters who the stuff belongs to, and actually, anything that belonged to your loved one is now yours anyway, so purge away!

Yup, I agree on this one.

No rush, I know there are starting out pains but.... I'd like the topics that have posts I haven't read yet to be highlighted.

HA! Who knew I'd have something so quickly? I just threw away a pair of my son's uniform pants that had a big hole in the knee.

Well, I just think, in the grand scheme of things and after we've all already lost what is most important in our lives, a loved one, and not just any loved one, but our partner in life, that as upset as I am about losing the resource of YWBB (and I am upset) I'd rather focus on making Widda every bit as good if not better and being here to help others the way I was helped. I'm thankful that the founders started YWBB. I'm thankful that an extremely smart wid or wids among us was wise enough to have this site ready for us to move to so quickly. I'm thankful that many of our ranks have found their way here. I'm thankful for the many, many, widda friends I've made who hold me up whenever I need it and 5 years later, I still need it. I have high hopes for this site but I don't want the main focus as this site starts to be anger about how we got here. I instead want the focus of this site, starting out to be how we can turn a shitty situation around and give new and not so new wids the support they need. You know, there have been many times on the old YWBB that I got my panties in a twist over stupid shit. We all do. But now, let's focus on everything we still have rather than what we don't. Let's focus on how we can do things better rather than everything someone else did wrong. Actually, as new wids find their way here, I don't want the first thing they read to be everything that pissed us off about the ending of YWBB, instead I want it to be that we are sorry they had to find their way here but glad that they did and that we are here to listen, ((((hug)))), cry and laugh with them as they navigate this new life they have entered into.

Thanks for reposting! I hope to be able to add to this soon!

Everyone, please, I know everyone is upset about the loss of YWBB, but is this really the way we want this site to start? With so much anger about things we have no control over? I've dealt with anger over so many things in my life, the death of my husband being #1 at the top of the list but I really want this place to be a place of comfort. Take a look at our theme picture at the top. Two hands coming together to form a W with the pickies together forming a heart. It's all about love, acceptance, support. I really hope that everyone here can try to focus on what we want this place to be and work on bringing here the best of YWBB, the love. Regardless of how we got here, we are here, just like we entered widowhood. Let's focus on the love and support and not the circumstances that brought us all together here.

Bluemoon, I'm glad you found your way here. There is a lot of love and support in this place. I'm so sorry for all you've been through and continue to go through. Health issues on top of grieving? I just can't imagine. Just know that we are here to listen anytime you need us. ((((HUGS))))

I get a lot of questions about bagos asking all sorts of questions. Attending your first bago can be so hard especially if you aren't necessarily social by nature. I have seen people of all personalities, widowed a short time, widowed a long time, young, old, completely different backgrounds all be forever affected by what those of us who have been to bagos call "Bago Magic". Here is my testimonial... My husband died Nov 2009, my first bago was just a dinner with 2 other local widows I had never met less than a year after my husbands death. I was so nervous, meeting people I didn't know except online. My kids thought I was crazy. It was a wonderful dinner and it helped me to not feel so alone. We talked about just about everything. The wid that invited me LindaKoz, I'm so thankful she did. She is such a wonderful, loving, supportive friend. After that I had a little more confidence. I actually traveled a bit further to Maryland to attend a larger dinner bago. I was running late (as usual) and when I got there, everyone else was there. I walk in, sit down at an empty spot at the end of the table and introduce myself with my name and screen name. When I said who I was on the board the person sitting across from me said "Oh, I've been wanting to meet you, you're funny!" LOL! I was so shocked! That person, His_Girl_68 and someone else I met at the bago MadPage have become two very close and dear friends. Then, 4 years ago, I decided to go to my first weekend long bago, that I actually had to get on a plane and fly to. I went to the DFW bago. I was in a bad place at the time, hurting, grieving and I was extremely scared. How could I fly so far away from my children? I was having extreme panic attacks (which I never have btw) and I almost bailed when all the flights out of Philadelphia were canceled because of weather, I mean, what was the sense, losing one day, flying in the next and flying out again the following day? Was it even worth it? I'm here to tell you it was! That bago was transforming for me. It was full of bago magic! I'm so thankful for a few people, one that even cursed at me through FB telling me to get the f down there (thanks FrankT ) that coaxed me back from the brink and encouraged me to go. I met so many wonderful, fabulous friends that weekend. It was wonderful!!! I can't wait to get down there again to see all my dear friends! Again, I added to my "close friend" list through that bago. Wonderful, dear friends that I feel closer to than people I have known for much longer. Well, after that bago all I wanted to do was bago! I would go just about anywhere to attend a bago. PA, MD, NJ, NY, MA, OR, FL, CO, KS, MO. I need my bagos! They are the best therapy ever! I have even been given the nickname Bago Diva. ;D I am so thankful for bagos and all my beautiful bago friends who are now my real life friends. So if anyone is out there and cautious or scared to go to your first bago just take the leap, I promise, there will be a whole group of wids there ready to catch you and you won't be sorry! Now I want to hear more Bago testimonials!

Thank you everyone who had a hand in starting up this new board!!!!!

Agree completely with kmouse. This board has the ability to be everything YWBB was and more. We have wonderful people who have stepped up to moderate the forum, something many believed would be a big help. New widows trying to join would often have weeks or even longer before their account would be approved, something that shouldn't happen now. YWBB saved my life and many others and all of that support and love has carried over to here and I'm grateful. Glad to be part of the new WIDDA!!!!

WOOO HOOOO! Wonderful news!!!!!