ManutesGirl

Today I spent time on my bike on the trainer. I need to transition to the road but I am so nervous about it. I only have 6 weeks till my first triathlon so I need to suck it up and get out there. On the fun side I had the movie "Miracle" on while I was riding. At the hardest part of my workout Herb Brooks was making the team do suicides for what seemed like hours after their game...definitely helped me keep going! Hachi - enjoy starting to run. You can do it. Have you looked on-line at some of the beginner running programs such as couch to 5k? A good way to do it is to run/walk at set interval (30 seconds run, 30 seconds walk) and go for 20-30 minutes. As you gain fitness increase the interval time for the both up to a minute and then start increasing the run time so that portion is longer than the walk interval. AC (and others who don't have access to a gym) - there are tons of workouts you can do at home and with little to no equipment - lunges, squats, pushups, tricep dips, planks....all great exercises and close to a full body workout without needing anything but you.

There's a thread called "three good things" that was started by Chemie a few years ago for exactly that reason. I did see that someone has that thread going here. I always enjoyed reading it and seeing how people did exactly that, express gratitude for the good things while in the middle of a really sucky journey.

We never did. DH was semi-conscious for about 4 days and then all of a sudden was lucid. He said his goodbye to his parents and then each kid separately. It was heartbreaking cause I knew what it was even though I'm not sure the kids did. When everyone left the room I looked at him and said you don't need to say anything, I know. He soon slipped back into semi-consciousness and died a few days later. I sometimes wish we had said something at that point but we knew how each other felt and it was nice to just have a few moments to just be... But I have to admit I am curious as to what he might have said. Now I am sitting here with a contractor in my house and tears flowing...ugh!

Thanks Bluebird! I'm surprised by how much this has impacted me - especially with my decidedly mixed feelings about YWBB. I am grateful for this new site and it comforts me to see that I am not alone with my feelings about YWBB closing down.

Yes, I grieved so much along the way but like Little Birdie said I accepted and was prepared that he was going to die but I was not prepared to live after he died. That was somewhat shocking to me.

I know other people's opinion shouldn't matter so much but sometimes it does. I spoke with my MIL the other night. We have a great relationship that is made difficult at times due to the influence of my step-kids mom. As a result I sometimes get silly and hesitate to call cause I'm worried about what may have been said to her (I know that's very high schoolish but I can't help it sometimes). But at the end of the day I know she is not only one of my biggest supporters but someone I can call and talk through my grief when it hits...and she gets it. We were talking about me & things going on in my life. How I handle myself with the difficult situation with the kids, a promotion at work and my goal to do an Ironman in 2016. I'm doing my very first triathlon in May and she is so excited about it. Anyhow, she then said to me DH would be so proud of you, he really would. It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel so good. I know it shouldn't matter so much but it does...I didn't realize how much I needed to hear that.

Good luck to those training for a half marathon. I'm running one May 9th. But my big thing is I am doing my first triathlon on May 3rd. Should be interesting as I have not been out on my bike yet... Mangomom - nutrition goal - maybe cut out processed food? I know planning my meals for the week is very helpful (although I don't do it often enough). My biggest issue is lunch. If I don't cook dinner then I don't have leftovers for lunch...then the lunch struggle begins.

DH died from an extremely rare form of thymic carcinoma. It had a neuroendocrine component but was not a neuroendocrine tumor. We were married 5 months when I took him to the ER on January 6th due to severe abdominal pain. After a chest/ab CT the doctor came back and told us he had a large mass in the mediastinal region, tons of nodules on both lungs, tumors in his liver, pancreas, etc... His health had been declining rapidly but we weren't prepared for a terminal diagnosis. That date is seared in my mind forever. After 4 months on home hospice he died in October 2011. Never expected the in sickness and in health, till death do you part be forced upon us so soon. While DH was sick I often had people say I don't know how you do it and it's so much work, don't you need more help. It was exhausting but it was just the life we were living and I really didn't think that much about it. Looking back now I can see what others were saying to me. I can't believe I (we) did all we did and kept things as normal as we could for as long as we could.