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I'm so sorry to read this Tybec. I will keep you and your ng in my prayers to hold you both up and for the truth to come out and be revealed. (((hugs)))...

😊 back at ya!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your fur baby...

Vent away, we all need to. Everyone here gave some GREAT advice, and we wont make you cook and clean unless you want to😊

I feel you dragontears, I could echo your statement. Two steps forward, three backwards! I absolutely HATE the weekends!!! Sending you hugs...

Maybe it's from what they share, my experiences, and the whole shebang! Otherwise how do we get other perspectives and learn?

trying2breathe NO it's not wrong to have expected more of a loving, caring, warm response from the person YOU have been giving YOURSELF to for a year and a half. I've been asking myself why some of you are settling with some of these men you are with? I understand when they are going through something, but come on ladies, really? Letting them walk all over you like you and your feelings don't matter????? REALLY???? My dh and I both were married before each other and we loved each other enough to show, and give each other time as well as give time to the kids! So this bullshit I keep reading has me absolutely baffled of what these guys are feeding you ladies. My dh's ex was also beyond bat shit crazy!!! I mean we had to drag her crazy ass to court several times over her antics, but WE did it, and she finally learned her place, and he learned that I came before her because she was now an EX for a reason! That if he was going to keep running to her every whim then run back to her damn house and stay there!!! She also learned my dh and I were NOT built in babysitters at her whim for just whenever she wanted either. She had to learn to stop using the kids as weapons against him, and when he quit playing the bullshit games she was dishing out, it all stopped! But when I said I would NOT be a pawn of any sort in any of it, and that meant , drop off, pick up, anything, then it all stopped! So ladies, I guess I am saying if he really loves you there is enough space in his life for YOU and his kids, find your value, and YOU get what you allow them to give you..... Just saying.... So I will say it now, Sorry if I hurt any of your feelings but really think about what I am saying....

Aww Tybec…. vent away! The things you want are normal. There is nothing wrong with showing affection in front of kids, otherwise how do they learn about it or how to show it? I'm not saying throw each other down on the floor stuff, but you know what I mean , a kiss or a hug. But if you have had several discussions about your feelings and he hears you enough to change for a day or two then goes back to his ways, then reconsider that you may not be the one for him. He is not loving you enough to respect your feelings at all! Just saying... Enjoy your break from it all, get some clarity, and some rest and relaxation. (((hugs)))

I would take the actions any day arneal! How's that saying go? Actions speak louder than words!!! 😊 It means a whole lot when a man will take the time to show his woman with actions...

This reminds me of the days when the saying was out of , "men are from Mars and women are from Venus"...🙄

Go to school to do what YOU love!!!

This sentence here says so much for me after 11.5 years! I am to a point of being sick of hearing others saying their damn platitudes to me, oiy!

Thanks for the info. This is important info for out of towners! Especially for those who have never been to the area!!! Will the person who is having the BAGO be setting up airport shuttle service for those who are not familiar to the area? These are some things to consider.... Just saying....

Not weird at all Adley. I had just bought my husband a black powder muzzle loader less than a year before he got sick and he died 9 months later, and I have now been recently divorced as of tomorrow 5 months from a mistake I made too! So glad you found us! Although I was here on the old forum before and left when they moved to here and then I found them again. It has now been 11 yrs for me, but still feels like last week sometimes as I still feel like I'm still finding my footing. I too have my dh's ashes with me, but I have a double urn. Promised to be put in there with him, and our daughter said she would have us buried at that point, so not scattering right now, except for my thoughts, lol.... Best of luck to ya!

I'm now at 11.5 years out, and just recently divorced. I didn't even consider dating but met someone at almost 5 years out and we dated a year then married. Obviously it didn't work, he ended up being a liar and a cheater, something I would never and will never tolerate. I've always had issues with trust, and this really made it so much worse. It also threw me backwards in the grieving. As I ended up selling the home dh and I had together after the divorce as well. So I think it's different for each person.

needytoo you have to do what you feel is right for you, and we get needing to vent. But some of the things you are talking about do raise some red flags, and we just want you to be aware of that. I especially after just divorcing a person "who started out a great person, then turned on a dime into a douche bag slime ball"! So vent away, and listen to your instincts too...

First, I'm sorry that your weekend hurt and sucked! We get what we allow, and walking away can be very painful, but DO NOT SETTLE! You are someone's queen, and he is out there looking for YOU!

Hi Wanda and welcome. Your story is very close to mine. Same amount of time of marriage, I was 1 year older than you at the time my husband died, and our children were older. Our only daughter just had her baby 2 days before he died, and we almost lost her and the baby too. But here I am 11.5 years later, still moving forward. Take your time with your grief. It is different for each one of us. It is a journey that we have to take to learn how to live without them here in the physical world. It is possible! Come here as much as you need to, vent , cry, laugh, or whatever you need to , all of us here get it... (((hugs)))

RAM, only 2 months and he has experienced loss himself too and is acting this way! Girl , kick that psychopathic ass to the curb, or do what YOU want! If you want pm and I will tell you more of the manipulating crap my recent ex pulled on me, cause this guy your dealing with sounds like he might be related to him. Wishing you the best RAM, keep your chin up. Your a strong woman, listen to your gut instinct .😉

I'm sorry but at this point in the relationship, I think after this many times of telling him you are allergic to lilies. Then it is a silent show of disrespect to you to show you where you stand with him, and to show you what you mean to him! If it were me, I would CLEARLY tell him that this is no longer acceptable. We get what we allow and accept! Just saying....

I'm sorry when I read this sentence I almost gasped! I just divorced a non-empathetic psychopath! SERIOUSLY! Those questions after 3 years with him don't set well with me, please be careful.... just saying....

So happy for all of you, and it can feel scary but oh so empowering!!! I think there is a widowbago in my future, and that is something I have never done yet. It is time for me...

(((((hugs))))) sometimes no matter how much we have moved forward, the heart still knows and grabs us.... hang on, and if possible enjoy the memories...

Congratulations, wishing the both of you many years of love and happiness 😊

well here, there is NO MORE adultery law! I guess too many people screw around on each other and the courts are tired of it. You can love someone, but you don't deserve to be manipulated, used, and abused by someone else in the relationship, unless you are liking it! Again, like Portside said, step away until ng gets his affairs in order, and if you matter, he will step up!