sudnlysngl

Thanks arneal, but different coasts I think? But my dh wouldn't have had a problem with some venison either, lol. Enjoy your day, and that sandwich the day after too!

Are you having guests???? Sounds delish ….(hint) I can make some wonderful sides to go with all that MEAT, lol Actually, it's not cheating when you preorder some of the meat/or dishes pre made. It's called , enjoying yourself, and working smarter not harder !😄😉 Happy Turkey Day to you and your fellow, and to all the rest of you out there 🐖🦃🐮

Sorry tybec🙁. Sounds like it's time to rethink the whole relationship with this guy. I've read all your post and I realize that there is give and take in a relationship, but girl it just never sounds like he has that true loving respect for you. I know for me that no one will ever take dh's place, but I also know that I want to be respected, and I want to be their #1, like they don't want to go days without me, not that they can't but they don't want to! I understand the importance of kids too, but damn they grow up and leave home, THEN WHAT? I'm sorry but girl please take some time and really rethink this relationship with this guy. My gut screams every time you talk about him, and not in a good way, sorry..... Even though I lost everything, I can honestly say I'm glad to be rid of the one I had, NEVER SETTLE, NEVER...… And to answer your question, their (dh, parents, all those we've lost and loved) presence is with us forever now, embrace it, and enjoy it. smile when it touches us in those moments if you can.... Keeping you in my prayers....

Girl this is NOT a "high class" problem, it is a widow/er, everyday problem! Stand your ground, and you already have a valid reason for not hosting them this year. Make it clear your kids are NOT going to be home so you won't be there either. Sometimes you have to tell a little white lie to keep the negative away.😏 We get it! I didn't cut off the in laws , they all cut me off when my dh died including my step kids that I helped raise! So girl, BE STRONG, you already have a VALID reason, stick to it, say it one more time, then STOP! Stop answering them, stop guilting yourself, and girl enjoy yourself with your new guy!!! YOU deserver this after everything you have been through.... Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers....😉😊

Wow how the tension comes off of your post t2b! With saying that , you already know that your family was forever changed the day your dh died and you can't make it be the way it used to be for your late mil. If YOU still have a great relationship with her then I don't think there would be all of this tension. Like some of the others have said if yours kids are grown, and IF they want to go to the grandparents for the holiday then let them go. Otherwise it's time for YOU to have the talk with mil and enjoy living life again. Cause no matter what you or she does it won't bring dh back for either one of you. Sorry to say those things, it hurts me to say them cause I miss my dh so much right now... Best of luck to you, be strong.

(((HUGS))), Life will never be the same without them.... But forever changed because of them....

Sorry you have lost the love of your life Nurse. By your writings you have loved, lived and grown by leaps and bounds with this man you called your husband 😊, what a blessing. I'm sorry that your family, or mine , or any others think or would ever think that when the day our loved one dies is the day to viscously attack us. Their pain and grief is no excuse to do this to us or anyone else, but especially us the wife/husband. The one who is on their knees in so much pain. Your words show so much forgiveness that I would not and have not been able to extend to those who have done this to me. My prayers are with you and glad you found this place here with so many who truly get it.

For those of you wanting these mailers to stop, if and when you call these companies just kindly remind them of the legal recourse you have in today's world with the security breech and identity theft problems that are existing. Let them know that they are adding to it by having been informed that your loved one is deceased and you have kindly asked for them to be removed from all mailers and mailing list asap. This should work, because if you tried to get any kind of joint credit involving them that would put YOU in legal hot water! So why or where in the world would it ever be ok for these people to be using your loved ones name or information after notification in any way shape or form? It's NOT! Once I stated this fact to a few places all mailers stopped, and all information about my husband was flagged and no longer able to be used! Also inform credit reporting agencies as well. Just saying, you have rights to protect your loved ones information . It's sad that we live in a world where there are people who will if given the chance use that information the wrong way!

SW, I totally agree with you! I have always told my kids to document, document, document! I too watch a lot of crime tv, and after all the crap this p.o.s. has done, and all these fake ass so called "Christians who are backing him now, you can bet my sweet ass I'm documenting it all! I'm giving it one more month, and if he doesn't stop I'm going to seek the legal advice of an attorney about defamation, slander, and most definitely a restraining order that includes shutting his mouth as well as hers! The one thing is , is that he is making his payments to me that he didn't realize at the time when he signed the paper he made legal to pay me back for running my credit cards up over 30 thousand dollars. That was one of the reasons he went to attack me in front of the court house the day the divorce was final! So, I'm doing my best to try and ignore the idiots for now, but damn it's getting really really hard...…. OIY OH, and my dog is a pit bull and I keep a gun!

So for those of you who have read my other post, you know that I had remarried 4.5 yrs post widowhood (feb. will be 12 yrs for me). Anyway update yourselves on the in's and out's about the jerk in the other post. But here lately every couple of weeks he is driving by where I am staying, he is saying the most ugly blatant lies on facebook and such that I just want to beat his ass, even his bitch is in on it and she doesn't know me. Hell she is from the other side of the country! I have kept my mouth shut! And believe me, I have plenty to say after he stole all my money, pulled a gun on me, poisoned me, cheated on me, was trying to steal my house from me, etc. Need I say more? (I had to sell it because of the financial ruin he caused me). I'm living in a 35ft camper on my daughter's property with my dog! Oh, and they have announced their engagement and the fake ass people from the church we went to and got married in are all patting them on the back, and we have only been separated (3 mos) and divorced for 5 months!!! so 8 mos total! I'm finding it harder and harder to keep my mouth shut in this small town, but I have figured out why some people end up really losing it on an ex. Just saying.... What I don't understand is , how or why none of these people looking at this dumbass and saying or thinking , "hey something isn't right here with him and this situation". Hasn't anyone noticed that no one has heard a word from sudnly at all? Do you all hear know what I'm saying??? I just wish he would leave me alone, especially if he is so damn happy with his new bitch. I feel like I just can't take anymore. I'm still in the process of finding a "good" back surgeon and in constant pain with that, and I am truly feeling hatred now and it doesn't feel good. I don't have anyone but my daughter and grandson, and I don't want to burden their lives, I just want to find where I fit into life again, and how to start allll over again, with that asshole leaving me alone!

SW I totally agree with arneal. The guy I recently divorced was separated for over 2 years and divorce was final while we were dating. If the "person" is a jerk, they are a jerk! Just found out actually, the jerk I divorced, was not only cheating on me for over 2 years, but it hasn't even been 5 months and they have already announced their engagement, lmao!!! Now I get to sit back and watch them self destruct, and believe me I will truly enjoy it.... oh my did I say that out loud, lol😁

Sugerbell I'm so sorry! That's so messed up what our parents do to us not thinking how it f**king stays with us for the rest of our lives. I'm happy to see you say that your ok, cause girl I'm not! I guess I should say that differently, I'm not postal or anything like that, but I am totally isolating myself, I'm so hurt that I let such an asshole into my life that stole everything I had, and caused me to have to sell my home I had with my dh so I could survive now. None of the people from my past, including my siblings have come back into my life since my dh died 11.5 yrs ago. My best friend can't , she died, but the others, well no reason, they just decided I don't exist anymore either....I did the counseling and all that crap, and just don't think I can take anymore, ya know? Just want you to know I get what you mean about parents screwing us up, cause my mom was abusive to me big time, then all of this. Proud of you, cause I remember when we joined.

Redhed you got this! Please find a good counselor for yourself, and let it all out, then start putting YOURSELF back together. You might find that you will like things differently, and find that you want things differently! Girl, YOU GOT THIS! And it's ok to feel all the things that you are feeling right now. It is, I am going through some of those things myself. I have been shattered by the guy I let into my life, and I married him! He stole all my money, and at the end he started to abuse by poisoning me... Punching holes in the walls of my house, cause I wouldn't put him on my house, he knew the agreement we had, found out he was cheating for over the last 2 years or more. So girl, bad things happen to many of us and we survive! I may not ever trust anyone again, LOL, but I survive, and know that you will too. Now let's pull up our big girl panties , find ourselves, what brings "us" peace and real joy in life, and learn to really live again.... 😊 Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

Mike I respect what you said, and appreciate that you gave me more to understand it better. Thank you for that. 😊 Now let me clarify, what I find offensive, is that so many people are acting like players when dating now. It's sad that they find that to be an acceptable way of dating and finding love in the world now. I don't see it being just a male thing. Sadly I've seen some women who do it too. I'm not one of them, but I've seen those who are in the game. For me I don't find you offensive, just the majority of the world offensive, lol. Sorry....

This right here says it ALL..... So many players out there now, dishonest people to have to weed through, and with us all getting "older", we don't have the patience like we used too... Although, I don't know that it's harder for women than men. kind of find that one offensive, just saying. It is 2018 when are men going to learn that we womens don't like being played??? duhhh It's time for all sexes to stop being immature and act like kind, mature, and loving people. How about that?

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend Serpico. I can clearly hear my dh in my head right now saying the one thing that hurt him the most was how everyone treated him like he had the "plague". He just wanted to be treated like they always did, ya know? So tell him bye, say the things you want to say. Like you will miss him , etc. Ask him if there is anything he would like you to do perhaps for him after he is gone. Other than that, just be yourself. Have a beer with him if that is what the two of you used to do. And don't forget to enjoy the time you have with your friend.... I'm sure you will be awesome... Again, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, and so sorry for his family....

First I'm sorry your hurting. That said, I absolutely agree with Mike. Of coarse your scared. You never took the time to be alone and process being widowed, grieve, be a mom by YOURSELF, and learn how to process all these things to see that you can and will do it! All of us here will tell you it sucks!, but it can be done. There are those of us (I am one of them) who recoupled after almost 5 yrs, and I just divorced! So nothing is guaranteed, nothing!!! Another thing I would suggest for you is some counseling. That would help you with the grief, the broken relationship, and life.... Best of luck to you. BTW, I am 11.5 yrs out

congratulations !!!! 😀☺️

I agree Mac, but I am finding this harder as I am getting older and a lot less tolerant of some things that others do. Like the lying, cheating, etc. You know the not so nice things that are ever so hurtful to another.... I find I just have no tolerance for those things, never did. Again, I sigh... Perhaps the loneliness is kicking in as the holidays approach or as the realization of what I had and what others have done. Who knows? sighhh…..

I miss that most of all. It is amazing when you have that in your life and with "that" person...… sigh

After 11.5 years I can totally understand wanting to find someone, and totally understand the loneliness. Wanting to find someone who understands what it's like to lose someone you love, etc. But why here? This isn't a dating site, although there have been a few people who have over time that have met in person and developed a relationship that ended up in marriage. I guess seeing that can make some of us hopeful. Knowing that the other person would totally get it! But I am curious....😊

I hear you. It's hard after all the stuff we've been through. I did let someone come into my life after 4.5 years. I "thought" I did everything the "right" way by taking time to date for over a year, setting my boundaries, not settling, etc. etc., and I still got royally burnt. So just like anything else, there is no guarantee but we will never have a good outcome either if we don't take the chances! RAM, maybe you might just need to take some time to figure out where your at, and what it is that you want. Then go from there. Don't let others influence you either, really think about YOU and YOUR wants. Good luck....

I'm tired. I don't mean sleepy. I mean, after 11.5 years of all the bullshit I have been left with, all the platitudes that we hear , all the crap that the world expects from "us". Damn it I'm tired! I don't want to take the high road anymore. I want to tell the sales person who are being real assholes to stfu and get out of my face already! To do the damn job they are being paid for at the very least, you know what I mean? I'm tired of trying to be nice to these assholes and because they feel entitled or are having a bad day I become their target! wth? Or when I go to the bank and the teller doesn't even take the time to finish her sentence, then looks at me like I'm strange because I don't have a clue what she is talking about? Again, wth? I'm tired..... Then they give me nasty attitude when I ask them politely to please explain, OIY..... Oh, then when she does finally start to repeat herself and explain, she freaking realizes how much she did NOT say the first time, DUH! Paid to have some work done, had some sheds put up. The guy did the sub floors wrong.... He copped a nasty attitude when I asked him a question on the 3rd day passed the day they were supposed to be done. He gets violent, had to call the cops! Now, I have to pay more money, that I don't have, sue the guy and his company, etc. etc. etc...... It just keeps coming, and I'm just sick and really tired! Come on world, how is this stupid crap really happening so much? And then why are you taking it out on everyone else???? DH, where are you????? Oh, have I said I'm tired...… Of it all I really am, I think I might just give up ☹️

NEVER TALK TO THEM! That opens you up to them and their illegal tactics! Block them asap! You said you have checked your credit reports, then you are just a random made up target, block them.... There is a lot of articles on these dirt bags now.... and legit creditors leave msgs….

Best of luck to you Rooshy! 😉