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So I'm selling my house and the first buyer totally flaked out on me. The closing date was set and he did a NO SHOW! Now he won't sign off on the escrow and he cost me money that it should NOT have and I am pissed! I am flat broke because of this and ended up going off on my realtor because I felt she really wasn't doing her job! After that she finally stepped up and she is pursuing legal action against him and his realtor for the escrow money for me. She also went and paid my storage unit fee for the next month because I was ready for closing and it is my whole life in there from 26 years of me, my kids, and life with dh! Thank goodness the other person who was interested waited to see if this jerk was going to follow through, and stepped right up to buy!!! Bad part is, gotta go through all the inspections and stuff all over again.... Now the signs..... The contract is put in front of me and I see the new guy's name.....pause.....I break down..... I know him I tell my realtor through the sobs I have to take a few minutes, and get back to her, she is confused but says ok. I cry my eyes out and call her back. I then explain that this person worked with my dh! She is still like , whatever because she has never been through what we have. So yesterday it's inspection time, and he , his realtor are coming to be here with the inspector. I am nervous, haven't seen most of these people in 11 years. He has never been to our house. So I find out his realtor is his son in law, and when he (the buyer) gets here he smiles real big at me and says, "I know you don't go by your first name, but when I saw your last name I knew it had to be dh's wife!" Then he walked up to me and hugged me. Told me he had no idea this was where dh lived, etc. etc. So then watching, or should I say trying to watch some tv last night and mine and dh's favorite movie come's on. I'm like, "no way". This movie is now almost 30 years old! and there is a line from the movie we had inscribed in the inside of our wedding bands! I had been asking him for a sign for 11 freaking years!!! Especially NOW with everything that has been going on! I think I should take this as him saying it's going to be ok with this person buying the house and he is still around me looking after me! What do you think?

My kids were grown up when their dad died, so I can't say that they had to adjust as small children. Having said that though I had to adjust about going back into the workforce. I had been able to stay home at that point for about 6 to almost 7 years. So I did like you and signed up for an accelerated course. Sadly though my kids were suffering and they were angry, so they made it impossible for me to do my homework and study. I wasn't able to accomplish that course! Now I am 11 years out, and I am back to square one all over again.... I am selling my house, wondering what in the world am I going to do?? Haven't worked in years outside of home, I did however do some work from home. Just not enough to make a "good" living at. I know for me, I have to when I get settled after selling, have back surgery first. Then go from there. I hope someone here with small children can give you some better insight then me, and I wish you the best of luck.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this with young children. It's hard enough without young kids involved. Both you and Julester are blessed to still have friends that come around. (((hugs)))

Bunny I couldn't have said it better myself, besides I don't know about anyone else but speaking for myself, I feel like my DH abandoned me all the time and died from cancer! So no matter how or why, this guy is out of line for his comments.... And I thought I had insecurities, ppffftttt, makes me look like a little kitten

I thought WOW when I read this. Not good, sounds like the guy I just divorced! Controlling, insecure, and a closet psychopath!

You should ask him why he turned the pictures over, and then let him know that he doesn't have to worry about a "dead" guy coming back to compete with him! If it were me, I would also let him know that it would take a strong guy to be with me in understanding that my late dh was very much part of my life and help make me who I am today, and if and when someone comes along to fulfill my life full time again then and only then might you put those pictures away if that is something you are considering. But he should be ok with himself under the circumstances to be ok with the pictures and you, and your story!

So as of yesterday my realtor let the old buyers realtor know that he can do a back up contract. Stating if this buyer doesn't go through then he can buy my house, but after everything he pulled he has to release the escrow money, and show that he has the money to purchase. We also know that his realtor isn't very good at his job or been at very long. During this, this person texted me thinking he could talk to me separately and get me to break contract with new buyer. I ignored him, just like he did everyone for over 2 weeks! I guess he thought it was ok to f**k with someone else's life, but now that he is losing all the money he put out it doesn't feel so good. oh well. He should of thought about that before he did that crap to others. I'm sitting here not being able to pay my bills because of him, no food in my house, so I'm not eating, and he didn't give a crap. So now he can suffer the consequences of his actions. Just praying this new one goes through, and the rains let up, I just have to empty out my garage and move my bed and have only a open trailer to use.

Well, the buyer went into "hiding" , did his surgery, paid NO monies to me at all and today is the 25th! He wouldn't even answer his own realtor. I reached out to him, but I made sure that before he did his surgery that I put it into writing for him NOT to do it unless he put some money in my hands first and set the new closing date for the 1st. He didn't do that and I had another buyer wanting the house! He could have waited 3 days to do his surgery and did the closing, I was ready! I reached out 1 more time telling him if he didn't respond by this last Monday he would lose all the money he has paid thus far in inspections etc. and I would move on to the new buyer because he has breeched the contract! He didn't respond, so I moved on! Now he is pissed, claiming he still wants the house, refusing to sign over the escrow money to me, which by our law he has to because he breeched the contract, and we (my realtor and I ) found out he lied about having all the money available to buy the house. So now he is saying he has a work comp case that is suppose to pay out on this coming up Tuesday. Yeah right! I'll be damned to believe anything he says! So I told my realtor if he is serious, then he shows all the funds by Tuesday 5pm, releases the escrow money to me by 5pm today, and he pays the cancellation fees on my new contract , plus we close on the 8th period! Otherwise, go pound sand! Oh and I stop him from getting his escrow money back too! His biggest mistake was mistaking my kindness for stupidity!!! After dealing with the jerk off ex, and now this too all at the same time, I truly can NOT take anymore stress....

Prayers for all of you....

I'm so sorry toosoon. I'm praying for you and your daughter. It sucks that you both are being handed this. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you it will be ok. Again, I'm truly sorry that your having to have this be part of your life and deal with it alone. Come here and vent with us, we are here for you.... (((hugs)))

A key point is said here, Love2fish kind of knows what he wants . CW it's the other people who want to take it further, and not him if I read all the post correctly. I think as long as he was up front and honest about not wanting that, and these women thought they could change him then got hurt when they couldn't, well then that is on them. So Love2fish, don't beat yourself up and feel bad if that is what has happened, if it isn't and they have been misled then be more up front in the beginning....

This walk is different for each and everyone one of us. I will say one thing and it comes from the best place in my heart at 11 years out for me and newly divorced. Please be careful out there. Times are different, and people have changed. Your head and heart are a bit cloudy right now, and I'm not saying to not venture out, just saying be careful and get back to living if that is what you are able to do for you! Best wishes and best of luck to you blwilli and to you to Love2fish

WW, I can totally relate to you! My mother was abusive to me, she pitted her own children (8 kids) against each other and I believe she got enjoyment out of that. I learned at around the age of 14 that my twin sister (not close to her, or any of my siblings) and I were a product of an affair she had and all of our siblings knew that, so of coarse that gave them even more ammo to be mean to me. Yet our "dad" (the man who I thought was dad), was loving and protective of us and didn't have to be. He knew the truth! Watched dad die in front of me just 2 months after turning 13 and being moved over 1000 miles away from anyone I knew. This made my mother meaner and more abusive. So I ran away from home at 16 and never went back. But it left me with the sense to NEVER trust anyone! Was married to my first husband with whom I had my two children with for 12 years, then he started becoming abusive and I said NO WAY! I LEFT! Struggled, working my ass off, getting welfare too so I could feed my kids cause the ex wasn't paying any child support and the state wasn't helping me to make him!!! Then I met dh, had a hard time trusting him or anyone. He was patient, loving, caring, wonderful, cared about my kids, and oh so good looking too! I finally gave him a chance, and he even adopted my kids as his own. Not because he had to, because he wanted to! Then damn it he died, that wasn't suppose to happen... I was happy, a happy person, able to make friends easily and not so guarded like I used to be, but now everyone abandoned me like I had killed him or something. Then I thought after almost 5 years I went about it right with this last jerk off, knew him for 2 years before I married him. But damn it, he is a hell of a manipulator and a psychopath! I got taken! I don't think I will ever trust anyone ever again, how can I? This is now 11 years out for me, I just don't think I have it in me to trust anyone again, I just don't. It's just unbelievable how nasty and ugly so many people have become.... Just want you to know WW, You are not alone sister!!!

It's not a pity party , it's reminiscing! And us women of a particular age do like to be pampered by our men in certain ways, there is nothing wrong with that. Besides it lets him know we need and appreciate his manliness.... We can do those things when needed, but when our guy can do it for us, let him, then we can show our appreciation to him..... Sorry to hear about the storms, but glad you made it through ok... Thinking of you, and your family

just beautiful yell, I hope someday you feel that you can just freely let go!

Yeah I sure was! As a matter of fact the dumb ass running the group had NEVER been married himself! I found this out when I called the head of the hospice who was running it. They then suggested I drive to another group over 50-60 miles away! I told the woman I was barely able to drive there, and how dare they! They could cause someone to actually go home or stay home and harm themselves, hope she could live with that, I then hung up on her. I guess she thought about what I said and started calling me back about 3 hours later to which I wouldn't answer her phone calls. I do recall one woman there who did scold the others for treating me so badly. They were all like up in their 70's and older. I will never forget it, and I even remember saying to them that death doesn't just pick old age!

Fuck the ex who is out there telling massive lies about the marriage we had while flaunting his new bitch he was cheating with! Fuck the buyer I wrote a contract with on buying my house and had a closing date with, who is now no where to be found and his and my realtor is dumping EVERYTHING in my lap! They should have released the escrow money to me, instead they have left me flat ass broke, stressed out, and letting this asshole run the show!!! Fuck them! Fuck all the people that I was there for and now that I need them they don't have time for me! They all (including my grown daughter) are acting like I have done something wrong, WTH people, I was there for your asses when you needed someone, be it money, time, place, whatever it was! NOW STEP THE FUCK UP FOR ME! I feel like I am going to have a fucking break down and not 1 person gives a crap! It seems like all these assholes are in line to spit in my face, and I just want to run but don't know where to run to cause I don't feel safe anywhere! I have nothing left to give and I can't take anymore..... FUCK FUCK FUCK …..

good for you tybec! Congrats! Wish I could say the same, my closing was suppose to be yesterday, but the buyer decided to schedule a surgery for the Tuesday before and now my ass is in complete limbo. My realtor is a complete ahole, I feel like I have been doing her freaking job, and I am not happy! Now she is saying the appraisal is going down on my house and I am saying kiss my ass! she has dragged her feet, and there is a lot of BIG extras with my home, like acreage, whole house generator in a hurricane zone, whole yard sprinkler system on over an acre, etc.... On top of the less than 3 month divorce, it costing me money it should NOT have, now I am BROKE, I don't mean I have a little money left , I mean BROKE!!! I can't stop crying with the crap they have pulled, don't know what to do, I have 26 years invested in my house..... I thought the universe kicked the crap outta me when dh died , but damn I really can't take anymore... Anyways, CONGRATS....

It's so difficult, even more so when it involves our children. My dh's work did things and didn't include or even inform me or the kids. Don't know if I can ever get over their inconsiderate feelings towards his actual family, you know? It's been 11 years for us now and our daughter every once in a while will still mention it. I don't mind now saying what my dh did for a living. He worked on the space shuttles and he even earned the highly coveted silver snoopy award for his work . So I understand the public aspect of it, but it hurts to when the family is ignored and left completely out. Best wishes to you and your children.

Sorry to hear about your sister, but don't be sorry about me divorcing. As someone here said, this person he has been cheating with has just taken out the trash! My only problem with it is , I already had trust issues, boy do I have them now! They (whoever "they" are) say time heals all wounds, but the problem I find with that is I keep getting older while time tries to do the healing, lol.... Anyways, really happy for you pw, many blessings to you and much deserved happiness for you....

patswife I remember back over 11 yrs ago when you and I joined. All the hard things you were going through back then with your job, sister, and other things. Its so nice to come back here and see you happy and with someone now. I thought I did those things right, but sadly was not the case for me. My divorce was final three days ago and now selling my house.... But girl you deserve the best, you keep going and giving the rest of us hope!!!

You both are so blessed to have that. My dh adopted my children so I don't get to have those special moments. Although today was my daughters birthday and after the day we had yesterday we took time today and reminisced about dh today. It was nice and needed.

Thanks Virgo, Don't know if it's closure so much as just the beginning of some much needed healing. Funny thing is he wasn't even 8 hours out from being divorced, not even 3 months from being moved out, claiming he is such an upright standing "Christian man", and he and his new woman with whom he is saying all the same things to that he said to me, is posting their pictures together on fb, and he is wearing the clothes I bought him.... She doesn't have a clue.... It gave me much needed reason to shut down fb, and I did.... Now on to finishing packing and being out by the 18th, redoing my drivers license, and ss card, oiy! I'm tired just thinking about it, lol. Repeating to self, it is going to get better, it is going to get better, lol....

So as of today I AM DIVORCED FROM THE JERK!!! Anyway the clerk of courts office is across the parking lot from the court house and he had to meet me and the paralegal there to sign one more paper after I had met with the judge in his chambers. We all met up outside, we signed the papers and I kindly said to him, "you know all you had to do was be honest 2 years ago and leave then, you never had to be like this". All of a sudden he can't contain himself anymore and starts getting loud like he used to with me at home, and said something to the effect of me screwing around for 2 years when it was him, (I even know her name), and he said something else. I wasn't paying attention to him, but it was ugly enough that my daughter jumped up and got between us, all these other people that were out there put their attention on him/us, and the paralegal stepped back and put all her attention on him too. At that point I told him he was done, can't wait to see him fail, and he needed to leave now! He did, and I stayed really calm until he was gone. I didn't know but there was 2 guys on the inside watching too, and when he was gone , I cried. Several people asked if I was ok, of coarse I was, just pissed and now embarrassed. He is still lying to his family saying I did all these awful things that never happened, and I know it's just a matter of time before he shows this terrible side to his new girl that is buying all his lies for now. NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE! He just needs to payoff the one thing he owes or be sued by me, and I don't ever want to or have to see him again! Time to heal.....

Figured it was time for an update. Well Monday the divorce will be final, not even 3 months after he walked out. Now mind you he is telling everyone I kicked him out! I have since found out that he has been seeing someone for almost 2 years already, so that explains a lot to me about his behaviors towards me during that time line. I got 2 people who wanted my house, so was lucky enough to pick the one I liked for my neighbors, and I close on the 18th. I find that to be really sad, cause I really thought this was going to be my forever home. August would have been 26 years here. I am however still deciding if I should expose the soon to be ex to his family and others, because he is going around playing like he is the good ol Christian bible boy and does no wrong. Yet the bible does say something along the lines of, "when you fight with a fool your just a fool!" So do I just keep quiet and let him expose himself, I mean he is already putting a ring on her finger and the divorce hasn't even happened yet!, or do I expose him???? Just glad it's over, yet tired and sad. All of this has really brought back the grieving for dh again full force, but I will survive. I have 11 years so far. I just probably will NEVER trust anyone ever again...