Catnip

The first wedding I went to, with my son, did the same thing of getting all married couples on the dance floor. It was very uncomfortable, not only for me, but for my 20 year old son, and others at my table, who remained seated. Marital status was immediately discriminated against at that very moment. It was nice to see that the bride's elderly grandparents had been married the longest. But didn't she know that already??

Your love for him still shines through. We can love our children, love pizza and love my NY Yankees, but the love of our spouse is powerful. I can hardly imagine experiencing the love of God in heaven one day. There are many cutesy sayings, including my signature line, but this says it all: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13. Peace to you, ~Catnip

Congratulations in making it thru the rank and tenure process!! I work for a college as secretary to the Dean of Math and Science. You can make it thru the semester. Your daughter will survive. You will then have a break between semesters, and then can look forward to summer vacation once again. Yes, it is busy, but so is everyone else. Best of luck, ~Catnip

I truly believe. My grandmother, who was born in Canada and spoke French until she moved here with her husband and children, passed away back in 1973. Her children, including my Dad, were in the room when she died. She started talking in French to her late husband, as if he were in the room. I believe our loved ones come and get us as we "cross over" so we are not alone on the journey. I can't wait.

No I don't think you are nuts. We did the same thing, but with our beloved cat, Jingle. She was 18 years old, sick, and we took her to the vet to have her put to sleep. My two sons and I cried our eyes out in that vet's room, when the vet said to pet her for the last time. I told her to go find Daddy's lap. It was that second between life and death. Jingle was here, but in an instant she was going to cross over Rainbow bridge. I told her to tell Daddy I loved him. And then, she was gone, as I was petting her. She did it, on her way to give him that message!! Peace to you. ~Catnip

My heart goes out to you. My middle child, Jeffrey, has Cerebral Palsy. He was born at 24 weeks; he weighed one pound and eight ounces. He was in the hospital for 4 months. My oldest child was 19 months old. Jeffrey was delayed for the first 2 years, but then caught up pretty quickly. In the meantime, I had another son, and the two of them grew up together. Jeffrey has required many surgeries along the way. The first was his hamstring and heel cord, and a few months after that he was able to walk at the age of 4. He wears leg braces still. He also has severe scoliosis, so he had back surgery for spinal fusion. He has the metal rod in his back and does not bend. Jeffrey is now 29 years old and has a college education. It took him 5 years to graduate, but he has a BA in public communications. I work here at the college and all my 3 kids got free tuition. I drove Jeffrey to college every day, including him taking night classes or summer classes. He does not do handwriting, and has always had an aid with him, or, in college, a note taker. Thank goodness for computers and laptops! He can sign his name. He speaks very well with no speech problems. He walks with a limp, but is not very steady. He now holds a fulltime job working in a long distance program recording and editing webinars. All computer work. Is he independent? No. He cannot tie a bow; we buy old men?s shoes with Velcro and then take them to have a lift put in one shoe. He cannot button or zip pants.We buy only elastic waist pants. He cannot clean his ears, shave well, comb his hair, cut his fingernails or toenails, carry dishes or plates, will never drive a car. He does not cook, but he can use the microwave. I take him to work every morning and he takes a special needs bus home but it is not very reliable. I will continue to work at least 10 more years before I can retire. Then what? I?m hoping my other 2 kids will help out with Jeffrey when I no longer can. I will forever take care of Jeffrey for the rest of my life. That?s been my promise the minute he was born. My husband and he were best friends. Jeffrey was 20 years old and withdrew from 2 college classes and went on meds for anxiety when his Dad died. I also drove him to counseling, on top of going to counseling at college. He still takes the medicine and is doing well. I used to say that when I got to the Pearly Gates I was going to say, ?So God, why did you make me the mother of a handicapped child?? Now when I get there I?m going to say, ?So God, how did you know I?d be a widow one day? Is that why you gave me Jeffrey?? Peace to you, ~Catnip

bwahaha Red Sox Fan? NOT

I even dream about the laundry! Here's my dream: Derek Jeter was at my house (!) asking me to sit down next to him on my couch so we could watch the Yankee game on TV. I sat for a few minutes and then jumped up stating I had to go do laundry! I returned and he again asked me to sit next to him. I did but only for a few minutes, again getting up to do laundry. What's up with this dream? I get a handsome, young man interested in me and I push him away. Even Derek Jeter can't compete with my husband I guess. Sorry, Derek.

Blessings to you both! Peace and happiness, ~Catnip

Yes, and it's been 8 years for me. So if this is not "active" grieving, is it "passive" grieving? 'Cuz I still am, cuz he's still gone.

Many of these people have never been close to anyone with cancer or other illnesses. They are the lucky ones. I hate people who say stupid things like, "Oh I forgot, I guess I have Alzheimer's!" No, you don't. My Mother had Alzheimer's for 7 years. It's no joke. My Mother also had breast cancer, twice. But she died of Alzheimer's. My brother and I do joke that we will one day inherit cancer, but not remember it!

Or go as the Grim Reaper with a black hood carrying a scythe. We all know him quite well now...

Yes, yes and that he's 10 years younger than me! I'd love to be a cougar!! Make them all jealous. Actually, I was 8 months older than my husband. I should go younger next time seeing as how that worked out for me...

My Aunt went to lunch with cousins of mine. Apparently, the talk ?out there? in the family is that I remarried and moved to Florida! What? My Aunt assured them that I did not remarry nor move. I?ve been a widow now for 8 years. I am still in the same house, same job, same kids (2 still at home, one is out on his own). I have never even been out on a date, altho I was asked at 3 months and said no, it was too early for that. I?m doing OK. Who makes up this stuff? I?m around. My brother works with a cousin (and his mother is this Aunt) in a family business. They know I?m still here, that?s why my Aunt was able to tell my other cousins I did not move. My brother told me I must make sure my Christmas cards this year definitely have my return address from Albany, NY. I?m just wondering who I married? Did I retire, too? Is he rich? Can he cook? How do celebrities put up with the tabloids? I?m still just shaking my head.

I?m so sorry for the loss of your Dad. There?s no one like a Dad and to experience his loss without your husband to lean on must have been difficult. It?s been 8 years for me. Time marches on. I went to 2 funerals this week. One was for a 91 year old friend of the family. Her son and only child (my age) had MS and passed away in his late 20s. Her husband died years ago. Bravely she lived on. I hope her husband and son came for her. What a wonderful reunion that must have been. The other funeral was a 55 year old who worked with my husband. In fact, he took my husband?s job when my husband died. It was difficult at both the wake and funeral as I was acknowledged by co-workers as ?here?s Dave?s wife.? Life and death are so intertwined. Hopefully we can catch a little bit of happiness when it comes our way. Peace to you, ~Catnip

Peace to you and safe travels on your way home. What an incredible journey. ~Catnip

Peace to you.

Yes, I understand. My husband passed away in December 2006. That spring was our big decision about our above ground pool. I had to open it or take it down. I never took care of it, my husband did. He so enjoyed working on it, checking the chemicals, cleaning it, and then getting into it. Since we live in NY, our summer swim time was very short. But my 3 sons loved the pool and my oldest, whose birthday is in August, had many birthday parties in the pool. We decided to take it down, the kids were getting too old and nobody volunteered to maintain it. My sons took it down, sold the aluminum, and we filled in and re-seeded the lawn. Many mornings before work I was out there watering the new grass. It was worth it, my lawn looks great and what a big yard I now have. But it's gone. What memories we had there. Another loss. Peace to you, ~Catnip

Blessings to you both!!

This may be a little OT but I'm mad! When I got married (June 14, 1980) our first dance wedding song was Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are." I still hear it frequently on the radio to this day. I'm a big fan of Billy Joel. Over the 4th of July weekend Bill Joel got married, again. He's 66 years old and married a lovely 33 year old. Alexis Roderick is beautiful as well as pregnant with their baby. Why am I mad? Because he didn't marry ME! I'm his biggest fan. I've seen him in concert. I'm way closer in age to him than she is!! I'm now available. So, yes, I am jealous of her. OK, OK, I wouldn't want to be anybody's 4th wife...

My husband died suddenly from Pulmonary Embolisms, the week before Christmas. We put the tree up together as a family that Saturday afternoon, and I did grocery shopping that night for Christmas dinner. I went to bed early, and he stayed up to watch TV for a while. If only we had known what the next morning would bring. Not only did he change my life forever, as well as my 3 sons, he also took away the joy of Christmas.

My husband died suddenly and the next day his work called me to inform me that our family health insurance terminated at midnight the day he died. That was his plan thru his work. Luckily I have a job so I just called my HR department and they immediately covered me and our 3 kids. So not only did I loose his salary, mine went down because I was now taking out family health insurance. It all sucks. Good luck to you and that new grandbaby on the way!

I'm sorry. Come here. I'm listening. ~Catnip

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My husband passed away suddenly too, from pulmonary embolisms, at age 51, the week before Christmas, 2006. My sons were 17, 20 and 22. I still have difficulty with Christmas in that it's supposed to be the birth of Christ not the death of my husband. But, my faith has helped me get thru these 8 years. It still sucks, however. It's a stupid, hard, depressing, unforgiving journey that we must all pass thru at our own speed. Peace to you and your family, ~Catnip

Get well soon! I had surgery on my left foot years ago, I had a fallen arch and torn ligaments. They put in 3 screws. I was in a cast for 10 weeks, then once the cast came off, my entire leg swelled and back to the hospital I went with blood clots in my leg. (Ironically, my husband passed away from blood clots in both lungs.)Then, weeks of PT. At that time tho, my husband was alive to help. I still worked because I was on crutches and could drive. During my time in the cast, my then 12 year old fell in my driveway playing basketball on Easter Sunday morning. He broke his right arm and had to have surgery with a metal plate put in. We have a picture of both of us sitting on the sofa, both in a cast! Some things you never forget. Hope you get better and can at least get on crutches soon. ~Catnip