Catnip

I'm sorry for your loss of your furry friend. I have a cat, Calvin (AKA The Calvinator). My son was dating a girl who worked at the animal hospital. A box of kittens was dropped off at the hospital. The girlfriend and my son brought home a kitten. I said no. Well, that didn't work. My son does not date this girl anymore. My son has since moved out of the house. I still have the Calvinator. He is a gorgeous black cat with gold eyes (almost a Bombay cat) except that he has a white patch on his chest and a white spot on his belly. Every time I sit down he jumps on my lap. Every time I sweep the floors he plays with the broom. He follows me around the house room to room. He's now 6 years old and I took him to the vet for his checkup and they discovered a heart murmur. I then took him to a cardiology specialist. He is on medicine, pill form, that I crush and stir in his breakfast. Our last check up showed that he is doing better!! Calvin was 9 weeks old when we got him. I said no to adopting him because we still had Jingle, our 18 year old Calico cat. Jingle did not like a playful kitten who wanted to play. They did not get along well. But in her old age, we had to have Jingle put to sleep. I told Jingle to go find Daddy's lap and tell him we miss him. Calvin has been a wonderful, terrible, black shedding furry, expensive, lovable addition to my life.

Shortly after my husband died he got a summons for jury duty. Umm, he didn't go. I was nice and called them to explain and the lady was very nice about it. But I thought they got their info FROM DMV. I thought it was the job of the funeral home to contact DMV and other places. It just probably takes a long time. Stupid computer systems.

Hugs to you today, Ginger. This is a long journey, and sometimes we can count our blessings along the way. Peace, ~Catnip

I still wear both my engagement ring and wedding band on my left hand as always, right where he put them. It?s been 8 years for me. My wedding band is engraved with his initials to me. It's his gift to me. I guess it?s a tribute to our 26 year marriage. I feel safe with them on. At the funeral home, minutes before they closed the casket, the director asked me if I wanted his ring. I had never given it a thought. Before I could even respond, my three sons, ages 17, 20 and 22 all said ?NO! You gave it to him and it?s his.? So I said, ?Then I want to be buried with mine.? So it went with him. I don?t see the difference of moving them to my right hand. Some countries have the right hand as the traditional way to wear them. Rather, I have added a widow ring to my two rings. It?s a black band that looks like an anniversary ring. I found it on line at www.expressionsofgrief.com.

When all else fails, pray. And then pray some more. And then pray again. Speaking of prayer, do you belong to a church? Are you near a church? Can you join a church? Can you contact a church and see if they can help you, at least with a food pantry? OK then, I will pray for you. Hope things get better for you, your family and your puppies. ~Catnip

I'm praying for both he and your co-worker. Life is so hard and painful. Peace, ~Catnip

Oh how I understand! I went grocery shopping for Christmas dinner the night before my husband died. My husband helped carry in the groceries and helped put them away. He had asked for a pumpkin pie for Christmas dessert. I bought a can of pumpkin pie mix that night, and he put it on the top shelf of the cabinet (my husband was 6'5" tall). It sits there to this day - 8 years later. Peace to you, ~Catnip

Oh, oh!! I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Yes, you are in my thoughts and prayers. May God watch over you. Keep in touch. Get well soon, ~Catnip PS At least try to enjoy breakfast in bed.

Yup. I was married for 26 years and knew him for 30. For 30 years he was the center of my universe. Ask me again in 30 years if I am "over" this yet. Peace, ~Catnip

I'm so, so sorry. May God bless a wonderful lady. She had earned her wings. ~Catnip

Hugs to you Maureen. I hope there was a wonderful reunion in Heaven! I can only imagine... Peace, ~Catnip

Happy memories to you. ~Catnip

It was a few months after my husband passed away that it hit me in church. The priest was giving his homily and spoke about the way Jesus cared for the poor and oppressed ? and the way he showed us how to listen to children and how to look out for widows and orphans. I sat there and it hit to me like a ton of bricks - that's me, a widow. I'm now one of them. I hope Jesus looks out for me.

Kat, I hope your date goes well. If he is a true Red Sox fan, I see Red Sox tickets coming your way! That would be a fun date! Let us know! ~Catnip

When Kitty crosses Rainbow Bridge he will have many happy faces waiting to pet him! May he purr loudly for everyone! Peace, ~Catnip

Hi Kat, Yes, we do miss the bleacher creatures chanting "Der-ek Je-ter Der-ek Je-ter." My brother wore his Jeter Re2pect t-shirt and I wore the shirt my brother gave me for Christmas, Derek Jeter Legend, that has a picture of Jeter at his last game ever, holding his Yankee hat in his hand up in the air. My son wore his Mariano Rivera 42 t-shirt. Now we have A-Rod. Actually, he has been playing very well. The crowd (of 46 thousand people and not one asked for my phone number) received A-Rod very well when he came to the plate. Please take care of my Yankees when you host them next month. ~Catnip

Boston Red Sox game? Wow!! I'm a NY Yankee fan. I just went to Yankee Stadium on Saturday and we played the Red Sox! Yankees lost but that was ok, since it was the day after the 19 inning game the night before that ended at 2am. My Yankees only won one of that 3 game series. The Yankees and Red Sox will meet again the beginning of May. I went with my brother and my son and a friend of my son. It was rather chilly, but bright and sunny. I didn't meet anyone... Enjoy! ~Catnip

Hugs to you. Here are the words to a beautiful song. Go to you tube to play it: Now and Forever -Carole King Now and forever, you are a part of me And the memory cuts like a knife Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight When you walked into my life Now and forever, I'll remember All the promises still unbroken And think about all the words between us That never needed to be spoken We had a moment, just one moment That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime We are the lucky ones Some people never get to do all we got to do Now and forever, I will always think of you Didn't we come together, didn't we live together Didn't we cry together Didn't we play together, didn't we love together And together we lit up the world I miss the tears, I miss the laughter I miss the day we met and all that followed after Sometimes I wish I could always be with you The way we used to do Now and forever, I will always think of you Now and forever, I will always be with you

I hate people at work (ok, only some people). I hate that they come to me to fix their mistakes. Why can't people make deadlines? What's that stupid saying - "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part." I love my job i love my job I love my job. Why don't I make enough money to make it worth it?? OK, I'm happy I have a job! $$$Catnip$$$ At work taking a break from all this $#@% so I can go home to my own $#@%.

It sounds like you are making a decision between your dog and your mother. This is the Easter/Passover hoilday. One of the first of the 10 Commandments is honor your Father and Mother. Can you make arrangements for the dog? Can you board the dog in a kennel for the weekend? Can't afford one? How about buying a crate. Tell your Mom you are coming with the dog but will crate the dog so it will not disrupt her house. Then you are getting to see your family, and the dog will be fine in a crate while you are at dinner. You may find that you will get more use out of the crate in that your family may invite you more often. I, too, don't have parents anymore. Your Mom may not be alive next Easter. Don't have regrets. Hope you can enjoy time with your family.

Carey, I?m so sorry for your pain. This is a difficult topic. It?s been 8 years for me. I believe that everyone is born with so many breaths to take and when our time is up, it?s up. Doctors play God but are not. Some treatments work for some people, but not others. Miracles happen, sometimes. I believe that it is all up to God. My faith helps me the most. My husband was 51 years old, an adult who was holding a professional job, making decisions all day at work, and at home keeping up a house with 3 sons, and me. Yet his final decisions were not the best, now looking back. He was diagnosed with pneumonia, and was put on an antibiotic. That did not really work. The doctor suggested it may be blood clots and wanted to send my husband for a CAT scan. My husband refused, saying it could not be blood clots, that another dose of antibiotics would help him. Well, after waking up one morning, not being able to breathe, me calling 911 and him getting to the hospital for a CAT scan, guess what? He died from blood clots in both lungs. I had offered to take him to the hospital days earlier, but he refused. I did not argue at the time; he was a 51 year old adult. But then again, he never died before. Guess he was just as surprised at dying as I was. Peace to all of us, ~Catnip

Mokie, Please open the Bistro! I'm always up for coffee, French Vanilla with cream and sugar!!

As a child growing up at home, we always had a cat. A prerequisite before I married Dave was that we could always have one. He said yes. We married in June and in August we went to the Humane Society and adopted a kitten. We were told she was about 9 weeks old. When we got home we looked at the calendar and discovered that 9 weeks ago was when we got married! So we always celebrated her birthday and our anniversary together. I named her Catnip. She lived 15 years, moving with us to our starter home, and living thru the birth of our 3 sons. When she passed away we adopted Jingle, who lived 18 years. We now have Calvin, who my son brought home, after Dave passed away. I have always been a cat person. My Mother used to call me Kitten. So I?m OK with the fact that I will be a cat lady, soon. I chose Catnip as my screen name because it represents the beginning of our lives together, what a wonderful man I married, and great memories.

Hi, I recommend Widow to Widow by Genevieve Davis Ginsburg. I've gone back to it time and time again, and it's been 8 years for me.

1. I work full-time and bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, yogurt and an apple every day. Every single day. It's boring, but quick and cheap. 2. I've completely taken over my master bedroom. My husband died in the winter, and that spring I (and my sons) cleaned out his closet so I could bring out my summer clothes. Now I have a winter closet and a summer closet. I've taken over the bathroom. I have the entire medicine cabinet and vanity all to myself (my sons use the downstairs bath). I often wonder how I could ever live with someone again (it's been 8 years since he has been gone). But then again, how did I manage to live with him for 26 years??