SimiRed

Fleur... I remember you too I'm also almost six years out and stopped posting on the old board. However, I did lurk.. cause like kmouse says, "I still have cards in the deck to deal with." Stick around, your words mean a lot! It's the integrity that you carry in what you say, it's respected and valued.

Beautifully written, Mac. Cindy was just as grateful to have you, and from your words, you have both raised wonderful children!

Awesome!

Awesome, just absolutely amazing what "Widdas" can accomplish! Y'all Rock!!

Wherever you go, I will follow ...

Mark, my son was 8 when his Daddy passed away. He would sit and throw temper tantrums at anything I would try to discipline him for. A simple, "No, you can't have candy now" and he would kick the stairs and scream like he was in pain. I wanted to hug him as hard as I could to take away the pain, and I did, for a while. However, after a time, I had to make the hard decision to discipline him. I remember sitting in the corner crying and shaking, waiting for his tears to stop, for him to calm down. He couldn't see me, so he didn't know that it had an effect on me. I just sat close, where I could hear him and when he calmed down, that's when I would go to sit with him. I'm trying to say that it's okay to acknowledge that he wants Mommy, but don't allow him to use that button on you. You can say, "I miss her too", but right now I need you to focus on putting your stuff away. Or whatever task you are doing. My son is now 14, and the single parent thing is still HARD!! I don't know how to do calculus, I can't help him in some of his school work. His Daddy would've been great at it. I just have to use what resources I can, (tutors, etc.) to help me instead. Yes, the friends and family help goes away quick. My son is also afraid every time he gets sick, stomach pains, etc. He thinks he may have cancer too, he's afraid to die. It's been almost 6 years for us, and his fears are still there. I catch him Googling medical stuff, he wouldn't even use the Acclear acne medicine I got for him cause it contained Dimethicone...it can cause cancer. I did try to explain to him that he isn't exposed to it in a massive amount of levels, so I'm sure he's fine. He still threw the brand new tube away. :-\ No, it's not easy. You are not a "Single Parent", you are an "ONLY parent". Yes, there is a difference. You are the only parent he has, you'll do great and you both will and can "grow" together.

Yes, a long road! Sometimes along the way we still trip up and it's great to still have a place to fall back on.

Your hard work and dedication is appreciated beyond any words!!

Beautiful words, Maureen... Just breathtaking to read!! John was an amazing man! I am so glad you shared and are able to keep these letters of his.

Hello, I?m SimiRed from YWBB, I just kept the same name here. I lost my husband of 19 years to cancer 5 ? years ago after his six year battle. It was a horrific way to die, I will never ever forget it. But, more importantly, I will never ever forget the wonderful husband that I had for 19 wonderful years and the young man I met when he was 12 years old. I loved him, I love him still, through the good times and the bad. We have a handsome, brilliant and respectful fourteen year old son now. Who reminds me of his Daddy every day by the way he walks, talks and sometimes just by the way he does silly little things. Josef has also been through a lot. No child should watch their parent die, no three year old should have to watch their father suffer and be in pain for six years. But, this wonderful son of mine is just like his Dad...he's strong willed, determined and never gives up. So, with his head held high...he has maintained straight A's in school since his father passed away. He has continued with his music, he loves playing the piano...he played it at his Dad's memorial service, and still makes me proud to hear his fingers move on the keyboard and create beautiful music. Rick has been gone for almost six years now. Wow. Six years. It feels like yesterday and an eternity all at the same time. I know I would not be in the place I am today if it were not for the people who listened to my story and sent me cyber hugs and reassured me along the way that I could make it on this journey. My Rick, I love you, I miss you with all my heart. There are days I still need you by my side.