widowat33

Oh my. I haven't checked in here for a couple of days. I like where this is going... So I was sexting this guy, in my hot tub, and well I was able to use both of my hands for typing on my ipad, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure if the credit goes to him or the jets, but really who cares. It was amazing, not as good as the real thing, but very good

SVS, I hope all this eases up for you soon. I can't even imagine how stressful and scary this must be. Yes, sadly our kids have every reason to fear losing another loved one, as they've already experienced huge loss. My youngest detests me travelling anywhere and both my boys are meeting me at the door wondering where I've been if I'm out a little longer than expected. Unfortunately there isn't much we can do to take that fear away. I've told them I can't promise nothing will ever happen to me, but I reassure them that they would be ok and taken care of if anything ever did. It's not much, but it's all I can offer them. Thinking about you.

Hugs. Thinking of you.

Wow. Now this is starting to look more like the original thread

I remember one of my professors talking about cellular memory, I believe that's what she called it. The way she explained it was that our cells hold memories, and even if our minds forget something we have physical or emotional reactions to certain things. It had happened to her, she couldn't figure out why she was having fear responses while she was walking down an unfamiliar street, until she got to a house and realized it was where she had been sexually assaulted years prior by two men. I'm not sure if this applies to you, but thought it was interesting!

Thinking of you and hoping you were able to reflect on all those special memories with happiness and not too much sadness. Hugs.

Thank you for sharing! Beautifully written.

Hugs. I'm sorry you have two dates this year that remind you of that painful day. I don't think we ever fully recover, and I'm pretty sure we grieve the loss forever. Thinking of you.

I'm so sorry. Sometimes the best thing we can do is put some distance between ourselves and others, and only you can know if it's the right thing to do or not. In the past we had to avoid certain family members because it was what was best for everyone, and to put an end to the unexpected drama that would pop up every so often with these people. I am in touch with them now, but on a strictly casual basis. I will never be close to them, but that's ok. I'm also sorry about your niece, that has to be stressful. Thinking about you!

Oh SVS, I came here to pretty much say the same thing. Tonight I was talking about how my boys run me ragged, not intentionally of course, but they are kids and I'm essentially doing this on my own now. When my dh was alive we shared parenting duties, now it's all on me. Oblivious family member stated..just wait until they get older, as she has teenagers, but she also has a husband to help. I was pissed. I didn't say anything but on the tip of my tongue was "fuck you. You have fucking help with your kids." It was the condescending tone used by her more than even her words. I'm grateful for the help I do have, but why can't I complain once in awhile and just have an empathetic ear to listen to me instead of people who dismiss it? I know it could be worse, but goddamn it, I just need to bitch once and awhile and I don't do it often. Same thing happens at work, I can't take extra shifts right now because of placement and my kids yet my coworkers don't seem to understand. One time I was saying about how the kids hate when I have a night shift because they have to spend the night at my parents, my coworker said "yeah I had to work nights when mine were younger, they get used to it" ummm, totally different situation, her kids stayed at home with their dad. Mine don't have that option. Fuck. Sorry for the rant, I'm usually not this bitchy!

So with further investigating today, some did actually get nice, appropriate sayings...and others definitely did not. But not one resident or family member mentioned it, hopefully they just didn't notice the paper and threw it out with the wrappers. There are definitely residents there who would find it amusing! We were still laughing about it today. This little thing didn't just make my day, but I think it was the highlight of my week which in reality has been exhausting, I've been doing 40 hours a week at placement, driving an hour and a half each day,and working 12 hour shifts on Saturdays at my real job. This was week three of my crazy schedule. The highlight is next weekend will be a four day weekend for me!

I had to share this.. I recently started placement in a long term care facility for seniors who cannot live independently. Because it was St.Patricks day, we had a party for them. They had a great time! The staff member who organized and facilitated the party is just great, very involved in ensuring the residents have quality of life. She even unwrapped candies and printed out Irish sayings and wrapped them up with the wrappers. So after the party I was in the office and a staff member came in with a huge smile on her face. She explained that she had grabbed a candy and wanted to show me the saying she got. It starts out about a leprechaun dropping his pants and talks about his "sausage" and goes onto say other really innapropriate things. Another staff member got one talking about grabbing a leprechaun by his um..well you know.. I honestly don't think I have ever laughed so hard before, hours later I am still laughing about it. The poor lady, she probably didn't read the sayings and just got them off of the internet, she will be horrified once she finds out. I'm also wondering how many residents or family members took these candies..tomorrow could be an interesting day!

I'm so sorry. Life is just so hard sometimes. Thinking of you and your boys, and hoping the results from the test are minor issues. Sending big hugs!

I'm so sorry you are experiencing all this. Life just keeps piling on the crap, doesn't it? Thinking about you and your kids, and sending big hugs!

Well, now I don't feel so alone,lol. I would be afraid of mine coming here to read mine as well, but I don't think she knows about this place. My dad is not much better. So involved in my life..too involved! If a different vehicle is parked in my driveway and they see it, they either stop in to see who is here, or immediately call me to find out. The one thing that really burns me up, is my dad will stop in sometimes when I'm not home, to hang out with the kids. If the answering machine shows a blinking light indicating a message he will actually check my messages and then tell me when I get home. The first time he knew I was pissed about it and stopped for awhile, but recently did it again. The frustrating part of it is they don't see how they push the boundaries of what is normal and not so normal, and I actually think they believe they are helping or doing me a favour! Sorry that your relationship with your mom is like this...it can certainly cause a lot of extra unneeded stress!

Sorry for the loss of your friend. Although I am young and have my children who would be devastated if anything were to happen to me, I get what you are saying. Very lucky indeed to not have to live too long with the pain of losing your spouse. I often think what if I live to be 80? That's 45 more years here without him, I can't bear the thought of that. Sending my condolences!

I am so sorry. Hugs.

So glad you got it figured out and it was an easy fix. Lol cats are terrible! Mine will meow constantly to warn me she is about to use the floor instead of the litter box, She usually doesn't give me enough time to get to her though, she is very picky about her litter box being cleaned out.

It was a long day, orientation! Thanks everyone! Maureen- so true, there are some younger people there, and quite a few with mental health issues. I had a great chat with one of the seniors today, but didn't get a lot of opportunity to spend time with the residents. December isn't too far away Trying- massage therapy sounds like a great field to get into! It does feel nice to almost be done, doesn't it? I am wondering what I will do now that I don't have homework, but my boys are still in hockey every night, so that's keeping my evenings busy. But once that's over I am going to have so much more time on my hands! Good luck with everything Photojunkie- yay!mi remember in chat you mentioned going back for the BSN, that's awesome that they are willing to accept more credits! Good luck next week

So my program is done as of last Thursday, well except for the twelve page essay we got assigned in one of our last classes, due this week of course. So that's what I spent my weekend doing and I am now officially done school work. Tomorrow I start my eight week placement. I kind of deviated from the norm on my placement choice, I took mental health and addictions, but chose a nursing home as my placement. The mental health of seniors is definitely overlooked, so I am excited to start tomorrow, nervous too, but mostly excited! When I went back to school after being out of high school for over 15 years, and two short months after my dh died, I thought that I would never get through two years. Here I am, I can see the finish line and I can't believe how fast it went by! I don't think I'm done yet, I would like to continue on with education, but for now I may take a break! Hope everyone else is doing well with their educational paths!

I don't know you or your situation, besides what I am reading here, but I agree with Maureen. I work at a shelter for women who have left an abusive relationship, as a frontline counsellor. Abuse doesn't have to be physical, in fact I feel emotional abuse is just as harmful, or maybe even worse than physical. It can also be an indicator of behaviour leading up to physical abuse. The most important thing is your safety, and a local shelter will most likely have a crisis line, as we do. If you are able to call it a counsellor will help you develop a safe plan, and may even suggest admittance to the shelter if you feel your safety is at risk. As I've said before, from what I've read it's hard to tell if you are in an abusive relationship, but if he's controlling and isolating you that is a warning sign and I'm sorry if he is treating you this way. Please remember that when these things happen it is not about you, it is about him and his insecurities. If you need someone to talk to feel free to private message me!

Sending prayers!

My youngest, 10 years old, was asking the other day what I wanted for Valentines Day. I told him I didn't want anything. Sometimes he will walk home from school, a 30 minute walk, so I didn't panic when he didn't get off the bus this afternoon, I was a little concerned though as it was really cold! My concern grew as the minutes passed, then nearly 45 minutes after dismissal at school he finally walked in the driveway, carrying his backpack an extra backpack with his skates and helmet and a bag from the local pharmacy and another from the grocery store. He had stopped and with the money his aunt gave him to buy himself something he had bought me a bouquet of flowers with a vase and a bag of Hershey kisses. I'm not an overly emotional person, but there were definitely tears in my eyes. I normally don't brag about my kids, and they are certainly not perfect, but just this little gesture tells me I haven't been screwing up too badly as a solo mom! My greatest fear is that these boys of mine won't grow up to be good men because of not having that male influence or dad to guide them.

I was talking with a friend today who had left an abusive marriage years ago. We started talking about sex, and I have been feeling bad for myself lately because it has been so long, so I asked her how long it had been for her..she held up ten fingers, I said ten months? Nope ten years! Ten friggin years. Now I don't feel so bad.

I am on night shift on Saturday, so I will probably be sleeping for part of it, then in the afternoon I'm heading to my youngests hockey game followed by my oldests hockey game in the early evening. We never really made a big deal over valentines day though, the first couple of years when we were dating and first married he bought me flowers, but for a lot of our relationship he worked away so he was hardly ever home on the actual day. Instead he would just buy me random things on random days, and cards on every occasion even get well cards, I think I miss those the most! Hoping everyone gets through the day unscathed, I'm just not checking Facebook that day so I don't have to see all the posts about how wonderful all my friends husbands are,lol!