Mac

1. I had a fun time with my sister on Friday night. She stayed at my house. 2. I had a fun time Saturday night and yesterday with the woman that I am dating. I guess that I should start calling her my girlfriend. 3. I had a fun time last night with my daughter and her soon to be fianc

(((momtokam))) Sending good thoughts your way.

I've been praying as well. This is a photo that I took of a wedding parade in Pokhara, Nepal. Cindy & I had so much fun there. Nepal was one of the highlights of our honeymoon. Remembering the wonderful time there. So many great memories. I will be donating as well.

The thing I like about dating now vs. dating in high school. I've had a lifetime full of experiences, that builds confidence. Not much confidence in high school when it came to women. The years have been kind to me, so I stand out somewhat in my age group. Didn't feel like I stood out when it came to looks in high school. I don't chase anyone that's not chasing me right back. That did come after having some dating experience in this "new life." Certainly very different than my high school experience or lack thereof I'm certainly more willing to take chances and my ego doesn't get bruised if someone isn't equally as interested. That's so different from high school. I think that you should suggest meeting for coffee sometime. All of this stuff gets so much easier in this "new life" with experience.

I am grateful that my children are so supportive in this department. DD is very encouraging. Early on she was making unsolicited (but appreciated) suggestions on updating some of my wardrobe. She was smiling as she looked over my shoulder as I built my online profile. She thought that it was a great father-daughter activity, I agree! DS is also very encouraging. He has expressed repeatedly that he hopes I will have a long-term significant woman in my life again. He thinks that it would offer me the highest level of happiness. He is glad when he hears that I am dating. Even DW's niece pointed out a woman to me and offered an introduction, if I was interested. This was fairly early on. I'm blown away by how supportive so many people are when it comes to my dating and relationships.

1. DW & I use to work together. 2. I've been going through old e-mail at work today, including e-mail from her. 3. She was so expressive of her love for me.

Happy Anniversary. Glad that you had that beautiful and blessed life together.

Congratulations.

This morning while taking my shower, I was remembering that last day that DW was on this earth. She was in the hospital, but her passing was quite unexpected. This June will = three years. It?s amazing to think of all of the changes during this time. It is hard to remember exactly when the different changes took place. I don?t talk about being widowed as much anymore. My DW isn?t necessarily as much a part of a given conversation that I?m having or story that I am telling. My children and I tend to talk more about the present and the future, not as much about the past. There?s not much unknown about this whole new world of dating, compared to when I first started this journey. I was married for 28 years. It is unknown if I will ever meet someone to have a multi-year relationship with. But I have found that it is easy to meet women. I feel comfortable with and confident about the whole experience. It does take some practice. So what a difference time and experience make. I feel grateful for much and hope that life will continue to be as kind to me. Wishing the best for all of us here, I?m glad that we have each other.

1. When I think about DW I smile. 2. When I think about the woman that I am dating I smile. 3. When I think about my children I smile.

Fairly early on after Cindy passed several different people said to me: "Many men remarry within the 1st couple of years, but we don't see you doing that. Cindy and you were such a great couple but you were both so independent." The woman that I am dating now has a very full life and is rather independent. She does things with her daughters and their families. She is involved in a variety of activities and has many friends. I really like that! It's quite a departure from the woman that I was in a relationship with for 7 months. It's a departure, at least to this degree, from the other women that I have dated. It's one of the things that I find so attractive about her.

DW and I had a partnership on so many levels. It worked well for us for 28 years.

I was wondering the same thing for a while. Expectations, beliefs, lifestyle, family, sex drive, sensuality, independence, needs, experiences? Many different variables. Sure one can compromise and balance, at least for a while. But then you realize that it is too much effort. And when you love yourself and feel good about yourself and the possibilities that are out there, why compromise? Wishing you all the best Sugarbell.

DW would hope that I would find love again. I am grateful that I had such a wonderful love and friendship with her. We were friends for 37 years. We were married for 27-1/2 years. Life was good to us and being a happy couple didn't take much effort. If that is all there is in the way of love, I can accept that and be grateful for what I had. My children do hope that I find someone to be with long-term. Seems like it is a bigger goal for them for me to have that, than it is for me. DW's passing was very unexpected. She use to say to me from time to time, including 2 weeks before she passed: "Mac, promise me that if anything should happen to me, that you will get some "arm candy." The neighborhood that we use to live in became very upscale. Many men when they reached 45 or so, would divorce and marry someone younger. This is what made her say that. I've dated several different women - younger, same age and older. No guilt on any level. I am grateful for that. It is nice to hold hands and kiss again. If the table were turned, I would be happy for her if she found love again if that was a goal for her.

When I was a young man, rejection was a concern. When I first started dating after being widowed, rejection was somewhat of a concern. Then as I had more experience dating, concerns of rejection evaporated. If it's not right for both parties, oh well. I feel good about myself and what I have to offer to the right person. I also trust in some sort of plan. Life has been good to me in the past, I expect that it will be in the future. And it is being kind to me right now. Grace, you are certainly a beautiful person physically. You lead an interesting life. I guess it's all about meeting the right person. Wishing you all the best with that.

It does take time, but making new friends is a wonderful thing. Nice to spend time with people from our widow community.

Overall, things are going well in my "new life." My children are happy and they are expressive of their love and gratitude. They do make my life so much easier with all of their kindness. Socially, things are going well. It is still hard to let go of some of my old friends. Grateful for the new ones. I am enjoying this dating stuff mostly. It is much easier than I thought it would be. Cindy & I were friends for 37 years and we were married for 28 years. The foundation built from being best friends, made married life so easy. Commonality of values, faith, wishes, desires, priorities... We did laugh together on a daily basis. We did everything together. We even worked together for the last 8 years of her life. We never grew tired of being around each other usually close to 24/7. So this is one of those weeks where I still have a hard time believing that Cindy is gone. I am quite happy these days and life is being kind to me on so many levels. I never feel lonely these days. But when someone has been such a constant friend, lover & companion for so many years.... So often it does not compute that they could possibly be gone.

I've learned some other new acronyms here.

1. It's a beautiful time of the year in the Rockies. 2. I continue to be amazed by how kind and loving my daughter and my son are to me. 3. I continue to make (some) progress on my house.

I'm grateful for much. Things are going well socially. But sometimes I do think that it would be all right if were slightly more lonely or slightly more needy. It might mean that I would have more motivation to be in a relationship

I posted a few more photos here:

1. My house is looking better 2. I got to see Fleetwood Mac this week. 3. I'm going to cook Easter Dinner for my children.

I've been thinking about Cindy a lot the last couple of days. Reminiscing and smiling, remembering so many great memories. I went to the Fleetwood Mac concert tonight. I'm certain that for many of you here, some of their songs have taken on a whole new meaning, as they have for me. I've seen them twice before. The last time was two years ago, here in Denver. Christine McVie wasn't touring with them then. The first time that I saw them was at my college in 1976. They played in our small gym. Cindy was there too. I helped the roadies set things up. I'm sitting here thinking about the times that we sang their songs together.

For me, the most powerful and helpful thing doesn't come from books. It doesn't come from workshops. it doesn't come from someone who says that they have discovered a "new way to do grief." It comes from spending time with other wids and sharing.

Two months after Cindy passed I went and climbed Mt. Fuji in her honor. Her sister's family joined me. We watched the sunrise and had an informal memorial service. 20 months after she passed I went to one of the beaches in Oaxaca, Mexico with my then girlfriend. It is so beautiful there and not as touristy as most places. We ended up breaking up on the last day of the trip. It was mutual. No bitterness to each other. We had been dating for 7 months. She said to me: "I will always cherish this time that I spent with you" I feel the same way. It was a wonderful 7 months, but ultimately we are just too different.