Mac

I wish you all the best.

(((Momtojandj)))

On this Father's Day, I am grateful for my Father. I am glad that my children got to spend so much time with him. We just passed the third anniversary of Cindy's passing. I am grateful that she was such an amazing Mom. It was so much fun being a parent with her and raising our family together. I am grateful for my two wonderful children. From a very early age I knew that the most important thing in life for me, was to be a Dad. It's still hard to realize that I am the only parent that my children have to talk to.

So here it is = 3 years. For the past week, I've been remembering what was going on each day in the hospital 3 years ago. I've been going through the photos and videos the last couple of days. Reading some of her text messages and her writings. I will toast Cindy tonight and will do other things in her memory and to honor her. My daughter is in Italy right now. She is on a trip with Cindy's big sister and her cousin. She spent the last 5 days with the Italian relatives. Cindy's Nona came from just north of Genoa. Cindy & I stayed there during our three month long around the world honeymoon. So special for her to be there on this 3rd anniversary. Grateful for the time spent with others today and grateful for the reflective time spent alone.

In three more days it will have been 3 years. So much reflection going on. In this final week countdown I've been remembering what was going on each day at the hospital. These past 30 or so days have been filled with some very eventful things for me. It is somewhat surprising to have so very many majorly significant things happening in my life just before the 3 year anniversary. It certainly serves to emphasize what a crazy ass life this is.

Thinking about you Tracey and sending good thoughts your way. (((Tracey))) Mac

I've gone out mainly with divorced women, including one that I was in a 7 month long relationship with. She wasn't threatened by DW. One woman that I went out with 4 times certainly was, ultimately that was the deal breaker. I've been going out with a widow for awhile now. Things are going well. It is so wonderful to be with someone where we have that commonality of experience. Married for many years to someone that we loved so much. Great family life then and now. We both are interested in knowing about each other's departed spouse. There is nothing uncomfortable about talking about them. I remember how great it was when I first connected with widowed people in person. Bagos and other group situations. Wow! Such an amazing feeling. Although our experiences are different, to have that commonality and understanding. To be able to share and to feel so relaxed around each other. So for me, being in a romantic relationship with a widow is a wonderful thing for so many reasons! Sharing the goodness of life in this "new life" together.

Get to know yourself. There can be such a sense of urgency initially, best for me to experience the thick of my grief outside of a relationship. Don?t want those distractions and that confusion. Unknown to say the least, married for 28 years. Experiment, learn ? what a whole new world. Introduction to dating, wow this is fun. Not long after the 1-year anniversary of her passing, a 7 month long relationship. Maybe she?s the one. Still a certain sense of urgency. Things didn?t work out. So much learned. So much more ?grounded.? It was a good experience for both of us. Less sense of urgency. Finding a compatible person, not necessarily an easy task. Such a variety of beliefs, experiences and so much more. I feel so good about myself. Dating is relatively easy. So much easier at this age vs. prior to marriage. Appreciative for so very much! Take a break. How much time do I want to spend doing this? Glad to see urgency disappear. With a very wonderful woman now. Love the time we spend together. Grateful for much. Grateful for the experiences leading up to this. Glad that urgency isn?t a part of the equation. Life is good!

Life is going amazingly well, but still this all seems so surreal. I was discussing wedding stuff with DD this evening. Her engagement party was last weekend. Hard to imagine that she's not doing this with her mom. In a couple of weeks it will have been three years. Grateful for so much past and present. Trusting in the future, the past has been good. But once again this is all so surreal. What a strange world I find myself in. A wonderful world, but a strange one.

MissingSquish, I was busy celebrating my birthday on the 21st and missed your post. Sending good thoughts and hugs your way.

Keeping you in my prayers.

4 Cancer Charities Accused in F.T.C. Fraud Case What a shame. Especially when there are so many good charities. The Federal Trade Commission and all 50 states on Tuesday accused four cancer charities of being ?sham charities,? charging that the groups had deceived donors, misspending more than $187 million in donations, in one of the largest charity fraud cases ever. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/20/business/4-cancer-charities-accused-in-ftc-fraud-case.html

I love the desert and all that it has to offer. This is a photo from one of my trips to Death Valley. I'm grateful for the past and the present. i am trusting in the future. Wonder what it will bring?

(((smabify)))

Thinking about my honey. Playing these songs and singing along. Loved singing to you honey. Lou Rawls ~ You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine This one was my favorite one to sing to her. Percy Sledge - When a Man Loves a Woman This was her favorite: "When you sing this one to me honey, I will do anything for you!" Carl Carlton ~ Everlasting Love Marvin Gaye "Too Busy Thinking About My Baby" Four Tops - Baby I Need Your Loving The Stylistics - I'm Stone In Love With You Life's simple pleasures. Singing these songs to you all those years... DW: "Listen to you now, why don't you sing like that all of the time?" My response: "That's the problem honey, I can't tell the difference."

Grateful for her friendship. Grateful for her love. Grateful for the memories. Grateful for the tears and sobbing today. Life is real. Life is feeling. Life is love.

And even when things are going so well in life on so many levels. And even when I am filled with gratitude and happiness most days. It's still so hard to believe that you are gone.

It's been a quiet weekend so far. It's been raining for days here in Denver. I don't mind the rain. It looks so green outside. The creek is flowing fast and high. I'm having a relaxing morning. Cleaning some, goofing off some, making a slide show to honor/remember Cindy... My children's dogs are gone for the weekend, that's a nice break. GF is under the weather, won't be seeing her this weekend. So I here I sit. Looking through the photos. Feeling so blessed. I had such a kind and loving mom. She was happy most all of the time. Super kind. Super intelligent. Super loving. She laughed on regular basis. I could go on forever. Looking at the photos of Cindy too. What an amazing woman. What an amazing mom. We had it so easy in our marriage. Commonality of beliefs and goals helps so much! For both us, family is the most important thing in life. Grateful for our family life. So much fun. So many adventures. Cindy and my mom got along so well. They were best of friends. Nice when things work out like that. Feeling so appreciative and grateful for so very much! DS will be here tomorrow. DD asked me to make dinner. Looking forward to that! I'm going to make it a Mother's Day dinner in honor of DW. Cook a meal that she would like. I'll be going to the Italian market and deli soon to get all the fixings for the antipasto. It's easy and meaningful to go there and to place my order. I just tell them I want everything that Cindy use to order. Love you honey. You are/were such an amazing person. Tears. Love. Smiles. Memories.

I've figured out a bunch what I want and need, but some of that is still a discovery process. I do feel so good about so much. Confidence is on overdrive, trusting in the future and having fun. I wasn't one to worry much before about the future, but now I worry even less. Still after being married and faithful for 27-1/2 years, this does seem slightly surreal at times. What an unexpected and fun place I find myself in. Along with that, I still sometimes find it strange to realize that I am the only parent that my children have to talk to. Feeling grateful for much. The life I had with DW. Surviving and thriving after getting though my grief. My enhanced appreciation of life. Having a kind and fun woman in my life. And I am quite curious to see what the future holds.

Thank you for your comments. Life is good, grateful for that. DD got engaged this weekend. He's a great guy. I really like/get along well with his mom and dad. I am glad that I have had some experience dating. That experience has been an education and has helped identify what is most important/works the best for me. This is such a whole new world, especially after being with DW for 28 years. I do believe that going through such a traumatic event as we all have, has the potential to raise us to having a higher appreciation of life and to accentuate our good traits. Much to be happy about these days...

With an amazing woman. Exclusive relationship. In many ways I think that I'm a hard match. Grateful that we seem to fit together so well.

I remember watching Cindy from afar as she passed in front of St. Robert?s Hall. So struck by her beauty. So impressed by the fact that she marched to the beat of her own drum. JUST MY IMAGINATION (1971)- THE TEMPTATIONS

Feeling so good about the person that I'm going out with. Looking forward to so much with her. Making a slide show about DW.

The 50's are pretty amazing too! Grateful for that! I'm guessing that FWB wouldn't be a good choice for me.

Two months after she passed. I went and climbed Mt. Fuji and watched the sunrise in her honor. I've made several different slideshows to honor and remember her. Almost time for another one. Many times when drinking sake, I will pour one for her and place her photo next to it. I'll use my phone for the photo, if I'm at a restaurant.