Passing the message on in heaven

[gracelet]

I think I'm being weird but I think if anybody understands, it'll be you ladies and gentlemen.

 

I'm about to board a flight to go from London to Malaysia.  My grandmother is critically ill.  This came totally out of the blue and it's 50/50 right now.  She's a super feisty woman so I wouldn't put it past her to beat it but also, she's a very committed Christian and has been waiting for 'the Lord to take [her]' for about the past decade because she's super excited about heaven!

 

I've already said my goodbyes.  I saw her just a month and a half ago when I was on holiday and I always am sure to say a proper goodbye to my grandparents as they are both in their eighties.  So I've made peace with that.

 

Now, I'm in a flap and want to go back because I suddenly realised that I have so much to say to Elle and I figure I can tell my grandmother what messages to pass on, so to speak.  You know, just in case actually Elle can't hear me and all the signs that she's watching are in my mind.  Is this totally nuts??

 

Obviously, I'll be sparing my grandmother the details of how I'm having a great time dating other women and all my drunken antics.  I just want Elle to know I forgive her and that I'm happy again but miss her :-(

 

Just rambling.  I get stressed like this whenever I'm about to travel.

[Wheelerswife]

Hugs, Gracelet.

 

I think we all need to give ourselves permission to do what we need to do for our own peace of mind.  I'm sorry your grandmother is so ill right now.  I also recognize that you are facing your anniversary of Elle's death.  If your grandmother is a strong believer, she may well enjoy your trusting to her your words for Elle.

 

I do hope your visit brings you peace.

 

Hugs,

 

Maureen

[Catnip]

No I don't think you are nuts.

 

We did the same thing, but with our beloved cat, Jingle. She was 18 years old, sick, and we took her to the vet to have her put to sleep. My two sons and I cried our eyes out in that vet's room, when the vet said to pet her for the last time. I told her to go find Daddy's lap. It was that second between life and death. Jingle was here, but in an instant she was going to cross over Rainbow bridge. I told her to tell Daddy I loved him. And then, she was gone, as I was petting her. She did it, on her way to give him that message!!

 

Peace to you.

~Catnip

[MrsT85]

We did the same thing, but with our beloved cat, Jingle. She was 18 years old, sick, and we took her to the vet to have her put to sleep. My two sons and I cried our eyes out in that vet's room, when the vet said to pet her for the last time. I told her to go find Daddy's lap.

 

I seem to be more prone to tears lately, but good lord does this have me going good this morning  :'(  What a sweet and beautiful thought

[SimiRed]

Hugs!  Safe Travels... and of course, do what your heart tells you to do!  You are not being weird at all, you are doing what feels right for you.  I'm sorry your Grandmother is ill, my thoughts are with you on this journey and hope it brings some peace of mind for you.

[biscuit]

I don't think your nuts, I think its sweet.

I mean none of us really know what is beyond, so what is the harm in thinking that your grandmother and your wife might meet and be able to connect over their love for you.

I think it might also depend a little on your relationship with your grandmother and what you feel like sharing with her, but it is all up to you.

As usual, words mean nothing, but I am sorry your grandmother is ill.

[patriciad]

When my DH was dying, that very last day, my sister insisted on coming in to see him one last time.  She was only an hour and a half away but traffic made it twice as long.  She got to him about 20 minutes after he had passed.  She was hysterical-not because he had passed(we knew that was coming)-but because she had wanted to send a message to her infant son who had died about 20 years earlier.  I didn't think it was weird then and I don't really think your idea of visiting your grandmother to "talk" is weird at all.

 

I think I would do the same exact thing. 

 

Pat

[Trying]

I'm very sorry to hear about your Grandma. I hope you have a safe trip and get a chance to say all that you want to say to her.

[THATgurl]

Gracie - just a big hug.  We have divergent beliefs and I have a few decades on ya

 

That said, my gamma left this earth this month.  Her dying words lead me to believe you can, indeed, send on messages.  Yet I don't believe that AT ALL, so why? Not sure.

 

Sending love and support.

[gracelet]

Everybody, thank you for your responses. I feel slightly less nuts.

 

I've arrived in Malaysia now and I went straight to the hospital from the airport. She's showing signs of improvement, but not out of the woods yet. I didn't get any privacy as a family friend was there, but I talked to her, explained what was going on and tried to make her feel as safe as possible.

 

They weren't sure if she was recognising people before and understanding stuff, but my arrival showed them for sure that she does - she recognised me instantly, reached for my hand and mouthed my name, even though she can't talk :-) Cleafly I'm favourite grandchild :-p

 

This is so horribly triggering. I never got to say goodbye to Elle while she was alive because she killed herself. Then with my little brother, he was in hospital and I was too scared to say goodbye. Oh so many complicated emotions. And, yes, Maureen, it's nearly the two year anniversary - I'm touched you remember.

[Jen]

Oh, hugs, hugs, sweetie. Hugs and strength and peace...

[Eddienhp]

gracelet,

I spoke to my husband on his deathbed about sending messages and requests for help. I told him to ask God if he could be our angel. I would need a lot of help with three children (2, 5, & 18) and the huge financial crisis I was about to face. I told him to help guide my 5 year old because he was non-verbal and has autism. I told my husband, you will be able to do much more from up there than you could do from down here. November will mark four years since he passed. Events that have taken place since then clearly prove my messages and requests have been heard.

 

I am sorry to hear of your grandmother's health issues. I wish both of you peace as you deal with this health crisis.

 

Eileen

[Carey]

I wish to God I could believe that Chad and my daddy hooked up and are watching over me and the kids. It would be such a comfort. I miss his stupid ass   Gracelet,  words ... well you know the drill.  Just remember what an honor it is to be with a loved one as they make that transition and I pray that if it happens, it will be peaceful.  I didn't want to lose my dad of course, but when I knew that it was happening I just crawled up in his bed like a 4 year old and whispered in his ear. I was the only one touching him, even LOOKING at him when he crossed over and I will always treasure that moment, no matter how much it hurt.  Sending big hugs to you.

[lcoxwell]

Gracelet, I have no words to tell you how sorry I am about your Grandma. I, personally, feel that you should do whatever will bring you peace. If you feel the need to share a message with your Grandma and to ask her to pass it on, then that is what you should do. (((Hugs)))

[Lmsmdm]

Totally get it!! (((Hugs)))

 

All if it, favorite and everything

[gracelet]

I'm back at my desk in London, feeling utterly exhausted.  Worked put the foot down and insisted I come back.  My grandmother appears to be on the mend which is a bit of a miracle!  Thank you everyone for the positive energy.  I did it!  I passed the messages on so should anything happen soon, I think I'm covered :-)

 

For more detail, I wrote about it here: http://eerilycheerily.com/2015/09/30/an-impromptu-trip-to-malaysia-the-first-near-loss-post-loss/

 

My blog has fallen a bit to the wayside recently but if you guys start reading again, I promise i'll write more ridiculous stuff!

 

xx

[Justin]

My grandmother appears to be on the mend which is a bit of a miracle! 

 

That is such great news!