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Sexy Widowed Saturday Night!


MissingSquish
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Quiet day for me, too. I took my parents to Costco so they could piggyback off my membership there. Went grocery shopping and had a decent workout at the gym. Had steak, french fries and half a bottle of wine for dinner. Popped in and out of the boards periodically. I'm actually getting tired now that it's 10 PM; I got up at 6 this morning (which is "sleeping in" for me since Catherine died).

 

I have happy memories of an awesome time in NYC two weeks ago. I'll call some friends up before next weekend.

 

|+|  M a r k  |+|

 

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Attempting to shove food in my face at a local Outback Steakhouse. Yeah. Sitting at the bar by myself. I ate about 1/4 of my appetizer, but I still ordered and entree. I don't mind eating leftovers. This weekend has been really tough again already.

 

I went for a long drive this afternoon to get out of the house.

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Attempting to shove food in my face at a local Outback Steakhouse. Yeah. Sitting at the bar by myself. I ate about 1/4 of my appetizer, but I still ordered and entree. I don't mind eating leftovers. This weekend has been really tough again already.

 

I went for a long drive this afternoon to get out of the house.

 

You have been on my mind a lot. I am sending positive thoughts your way.

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I was actually off today. I wanted to get on here and post the triumphant story of how I walked into a car dealership yesterday and bought a new (used) vehicle all by myself-- first time in my life, like a real grown-up. It's a beauty, and I'm proud of it, but tonight I'm so lonely and sad that I'm sitting in my room sobbing my heart out.  :'(

 

No one wants me. No one ever will. Bring an independent adult sucks. Super sexy, right? Self-pity is always irresistible.  :(

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Helped a friend of mine tear wallpaper off her walls. It REALLY sucked. But it was nice to get out of the house for a bit and focus on something other than poor, poor, pitiful me. Watching football right now and thinking I might take a ride on the motorcycle tonight after it cools down.

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I'm very sorry you are having to spend your nights alone. I am not liking being alone at night, either, now that I am in a new place, my son has moved out, and my dogs are in another state with my best friend from college and his fiance. With Saturday night upon us, I am sitting and enjoying a quiet evening. New Guy and I went to the market earlier today and were profusely thanked by the cashier for being the happiest people she had seen, for a couple of people who had had to wait in a long line. It's nice having other people looking at me and seeing happiness, instead of looking at me and seeing tears, for a change.

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I have given up trying to keep my kids from watching inappropriate stuff. Parenting fail. On the other hand, my mom and I have taken them to Branson, MO, for a surprise mini-break for the youngest one's 10 th birthday. I don't feel particularly celebratory, and this hotel room is far too small, but they're having fun.

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Another Saturday night and what wild and crazy things are we all up to this evening?

I just got home from the grocery store (great place to spend a Saturday night), and now I'm going to make some dinner.  Then I'm going to get real sexy and slip on my black nightgown and cuddle up with a glass of wine and the book I started on vacation but never finished!  I'll probably fall asleep before I finish reading 2 pages!!

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Today is my mother in-law's birthday. (I suppose technically she's not my mother in-law anymore?) We celebrated with family. I love her! She's amazing, really. The woman fixed US dinner. She even made three different desserts. My sister in-law and I wanted to host and cook, but she insisted.

 

After everyone left she started talking about her aunt being a widow at a young age. She said she started dating "probably to soon" and her youngest daughter (9) felt pushed away. She lived with her grandmother for awhile. I just said everyone has a different situation and grieves differently. It probably wasn't just the fact that her mom was dating. There were probably other factors. I'm not sure if this was directed at me or not. I haven't started dating, but I know it will be hard for her when I do. I know she'll be happy for me, but worried about how it will effect my daughters. I don't blame her.

 

Anyway, my 8yo decided to stay the night. I'm hanging out with my other two daughters.

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I'm still at work. I'd just as soon be here, since there are four teenagers at my house tonight-- both my older kids have guests over-- plus the 10 year old and my getting-deafer-by-the-day mother. She's on strike-- she will tolerate the mass sleepover, but she refuses to entertain-- so when I get home I can scrounge for something for supper, then maybe I can make my excuses and head to bed.

 

Oh, when will this mad, crazy, merry-go-round existence ever end??!?!???! @@

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Hiding from my daughter, watching Far From the Maddening Crowd, trying on all of my pants in renewed purging effort (spurred on by avoidance of working on my promotion application due much sooner than I want to accept) and missing my main squeeze who seems further away than usual on Saturday nights.  (insert pathetic sigh here)

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