PhotoJunkie Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 So here is the question of the day How does one, especially an extremely introverted hermit, make friends? I am not currently working, nor is it in my future despite my wanting to be, for a while. I am going to school but its all online and at my own pace, so no interactions with other students for projects etc. I do not and will not be attending church. I do not drink or go to bars, and I have a teenager at home so getting out on my own isn't easy. For the time being her time home alone is being limited per smarter than me people and honestly teenagers don't really have playdates like littles do lol So how does one make in person friends with the above issues???? I need a few friends. I don't have any here in this state, I don't interact with my sister much, nor do I want to share friends with her at this point anyway. What is a girl to do? I prefer to hang out with the male population. It has always been that way. All photos of me as a teen are with a group of guys, with one or two like minded girls. But I am learning that as an adult, women hanging out with men just brings more drama than it should. I don't want drama. I don't want to date. I just want some friends to catch a movie with, maybe a meal or two every so often, the range.....etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Are there meetup groups in your area (meetup.com)? While your kid is in school, can you do your schoolwork at a cafe, to be among people and maybe end up chitchatting and becoming friends with people doing the same? Find/start a bookclub? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I'm not great at making friends either and could use some new ones so I can relate. Meet ups are a good idea because there will be people with like minded interests. Joining a gym, tennis club, bowling league or something else that is active and interests you. Our Parks and Rec department runs different adult group activities and classes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bear Tomás Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 "How does one, especially an extremely introverted hermit, make friends?" No idea since I am not an "extremely introverted hermit" but meetup is a good start. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoJunkie Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 So you're saying I should join the clothing optional yoga meetup group??? Ive considered Meetup...but the idea of actually meeting people I don't know is scary as all get out. It took Rob a few years to convince me to go to his bago I will keep looking to see if there is something I can interest the girl in too at least initially so I have a cohort in crime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max2507 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I am introverted as well and find making friends difficult. Sometimes the big difficulty is while I know I could use some socialization I don't really want to be sociable. I wanted to chime in on meetup. I have had good luck with being able to get out and do things that I like to do, hiking and kayaking, that aren't that safe to do alone. The people have been nice and friendly and while I joined more to do stuff I can see I could be friends with some members and it got me interested in joining our state trail association. It was really weird to go to the first meetup but try it! I have had to push myself more than I ever had in my life these last almost three years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 When I moved here, I volunteered for a political campaign and made a ton of friends, many of whom are still important in my life 13 years later and after everything. Not for everyone but it worked for me then and again in 2008 when we'd moved to a new neighborhood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Yes, volunteering in something that interests you is a great idea. You are doing a good deed and meeting people you have something in common with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Going to chime in to promote meetups. My experience has been wonderful with these. Although I am not an introvert and I do see that that could be a stumbling block , I must say as an avid user of the groups around here( I think I belong to 10 of them) people in the groups seem to be great at approaching the newbies and being inclusive. If it would help you could contact the organizers ahead of time , explain you're nervous and I know most of the organizers at least around would be very helpful. They would maybe explain a little more what happens , or introduce you to a person who would show you the ropes. I don't know what exactly would make it more comfortable but it seems to work for all sorts of different people around here. I have found that these group just provide a nice gathering of likeminded people. A pool where you may find a new friend. Anyways good luck PJ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TalksToAngels Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Never liked meet ups. I google local happenings and sometimes just go to the beach, walk, or catch a band. I played in a band for years but lost interest since my spouse died. But would like yo get back into it. Gyms bore me. So it's also been hard for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Does your local library need volunteers? The animal shelter? It is an election year and no candidate will turn down help. Meals on Wheels? Maybe meeting slow-moving old folks one-on-one would be less intimidating than a roomful or strangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Torn Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Hmmm... I imagine EVERY widow/widower turns hermit in some way. Anyhow... Google "Hang-Outs" this is video streaming conversations with video. I realize this isn't "Getting Out", however it's very possible it could enable you to stay sharp & honestly get you talking to someone you can see. I view this video chat idea to be a way to interact & build self-esteem & kinda thing in doing so ,it could take away some of the akward feeling that a in person group can have. Ultimately the idea is it's a way to video chat and could help fill the void until you feel a bit more like in person things like "meet-ups", I'm concidering this myself. Best to ya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 BTW, I didn't mean to DATE the slow-moving old folks, I meant in the course of doing this you might meet other volunteers. One of my colleagues offered to take ME out to a nursing home, her suggestion being that she wheel out various old men, who wouldn't be able to run away... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyr Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 Finding anything that interests you, whether it's a fun, active class or a volunteer opportunity, could steer you toward a group of like-minded people. Some that come to mind are Habitat for Humanity, helping volunteer at charitable runs/races, museum events, food banks, political campaigns, beautification, building and/or painting of parks or lakes, etc.....golf, pottery, kickboxing, cooking, or hiking groups or classes, to name a few. Just Google your city and scan the Friday week-end upcoming events in the newspaper to see the various opportunities your area offers. I find when doing something you find fun and meaningful, it takes the pressure off and allows the conversation flow more naturally than being in the bar or dating scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HvnBound Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 @Photojunkie Really? All you have to do is send me a PM and I will meet up with you, we have shared so much over the years. I think you are a cool chick, send me a PM and I will happily meet up with you and....you can see my first tattoo Doesn't that tempt you? LOL! I moved from Illinois to Missouri in July, plus, I really want to see your bike. It is totally up to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted April 3, 2016 Share Posted April 3, 2016 PJ, wish we were closer. I'm very much in the same boat. Although tomorrow, I'm getting up my nerve and going to a meeting to start working on a political campaign as we are finally getting a local office open here. I'm pretty nervous, but determined to get out instead of sitting at home watching TV or being on the computer. I can't do phone calls or canvassing as I get my feelings hurt too easily. (This is a tough area for my party affiliation). I'm hoping to be able to contribute by putting together packets, entering data, etc.. I had a wonderful young man call me the other night campaigning for my candidate. We ended up talking for about 25 minutes. I'll bet he had no idea how much he made this lonely widow's evening. I'm trying to get a local younger widows/widowers group started through MeetUp. Just trying to get the word out now. I'm hoping it will take off. I've been trying to convince myself that I'm okay with being alone, but when I'm out, I realize I feel much brighter and alive talking to other people IRL. I'm not interested in dating - just human connections IRL. I also had mostly male friends in high school. Not exactly sure why. Good luck! Maybe we can compare notes with successful strategies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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