Sugarbell Posted May 18, 2016 Author Share Posted May 18, 2016 Thanks guys.  Last night he was on his way to a job interview....and listening to him talk work/stocks/finance etc...peaked me interest back up. That's how it's been....I pull away then something happens the lures me back. This is a higher position, more money/responsibility etc. When he talks work I am intrigued because he's smart and ambitious career wise (you don't find much of that around these parts in men)...And I forget the junk, not taking care of his stuff etc. He has a huge office...yet does all of his meetings off site because he doesn't want people meeting in it because of all his crap in it Its a disaster area.  Truth be told...as long as he gives me space (which he gives me plenty of especially when I am pulling back) I am ok with everything. Guess I am not really putting myself out there for a relationship and this one is easy (on both our parts). But we both know it's going nowhere. Sad thing is....I am fine with it going nowhere.😳 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted May 18, 2016 Share Posted May 18, 2016 ....I am fine with it going nowhere.😳  You are not required to want what other people want.  I recall a couple coming to our house to try to get us to join their MLM. Looking out to the driveway with a sly smile, the man asked, "Imagine, if you had all the money you wanted, would you drive the same car?"  Well, yes, I would have. I rather liked my Chevy Chevette. It got me from point A to Point B with a minimum of expense and trouble. I had to buy a new car over a year ago, and thought to myself I'd buy that car again, if I could. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taurus Posted May 24, 2016 Share Posted May 24, 2016 .... But we both know it's going nowhere. Sad thing is....I am fine with it going nowhere.😳  Just be friends - with benefits. You sound like you've got your head in the right space with regards to maintaining your own space and your own resources. I find it interesting that he had the temerity to factor in using your funds for a deposit on a new house. I also find it peculiar that he's made little or no effort to tidy up his place, if only to impress you.  You sound like you're already halfway down the driveway....good luck with whatever decision you make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted May 26, 2016 Author Share Posted May 26, 2016 Yes...FWB...I don't think that could happen..he's too emotionally invested.  I need to grow a set of balls and just end it. I wanted to go to the Mts just me and my kids. My oldest has lived with my parents this semester and I need time with all 3 kids together. He wants a long weekend all 3 of us. He asked me tonight about going to DC and stuff. That's not my idea of getting away. Yet..in the mountains with everything we do...it's just not him. I don't have fun traveling with him with my kids. I mean going to Vegas was fun with him...but not the WV Mts.  I am probably not going to go anywhere. Not worth wasting the money if he's with us I will feel suffocated. Plus I have plans on Friday, Saturday and Sunday that I wanted o cancel to go away but not going to.  I didn't want to deal with it before we move...but honestly I don't want the baggage starting out in a new place . I hate confrontation...basically I don't do well with full blown relationships. He was a player..he was safe. But now he's changed and I haven't changed...and I feel smothered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Flip flop ....flip flop... yes ,no.......indecision.  A very bothersome place to be. I understand. I'm trying to tell myself it's normal.Just part of the process. And here's your post basically verifying my feelings. The situation is different but the changing of the mind is there. Knowing that the situation is not entirely working and yet reluctant to break free because of the nice parts.  Good luck sorting this out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taurus Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Yes...FWB...I don't think that could happen..he's too emotionally invested.  I need to grow a set of balls and just end it. I wanted to go to the Mts just me and my kids. My oldest has lived with my parents this semester and I need time with all 3 kids together. He wants a long weekend all 3 of us. He asked me tonight about going to DC and stuff. That's not my idea of getting away. Yet..in the mountains with everything we do...it's just not him. I don't have fun traveling with him with my kids. I mean going to Vegas was fun with him...but not the WV Mts.  I am probably not going to go anywhere. Not worth wasting the money if he's with us I will feel suffocated. Plus I have plans on Friday, Saturday and Sunday that I wanted o cancel to go away but not going to.  I didn't want to deal with it before we move...but honestly I don't want the baggage starting out in a new place . I hate confrontation...basically I don't do well with full blown relationships. He was a player..he was safe. But now he's changed and I haven't changed...and I feel smothered.  Time with your kids is paramount: they'll grow up too quickly and move out before you know it, so enjoy the time with them now. Just tell NG you want time out with your kids and go to the mountains: if he pulls a sulk, it'll make it easier for you to end it. If he understands, there might be hope yet...  He was a player..he was safe. But now he's changed and I haven't changed...and I feel smothered. Don't feel pressured into changing. You'll meet someone who will love you for your strength and independence - you'll know when you meet him because you won't feel suffocated and you won't feel imposed upon to change.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted May 26, 2016 Author Share Posted May 26, 2016 I am just going to tell him I need a break. And he will want to call and talk talk talk about it..I realized this morning enough is enough. He's a good guy...he's never been mean or anything..he's good to my kids...smart...just not for me. I've tried...several times to end it...and somehow he sneaks back in. Â I need the mountains like I need air. We try to go every Memorial Day weekend. We aren't going to leave till Sunday afternoon and stay till Tuesday. And even if I told him that I just wanted to go with my kids...he would be hanging around here Fri-Sun...and I would feel obligated to take him to my kids ballgame, my friends graduation party, etc. I don't want to do that..and it has to be a no contact thing...which will hurt him (like blocking him from my phone and FB). because this isn't going to work... Â Time to big my big girl pants on and just do it. Â Â Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Good luck!  And have a great hiking weekend. We just did a couple little trips - beginning of the season, yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmg19 Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Have a wonderful week-end with your kids. No suffocation and the light bulb lit up. Enough is enough. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Break ups are tough generally but you seem to know what you want. Agreed that the no contact rule is the way to go - for at least 90 days. Have a lovely weekend with your kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taurus Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 I am just going to tell him I need a break. And he will want to call and talk talk talk about it..I realized this morning enough is enough. He's a good guy...he's never been mean or anything..he's good to my kids...smart...just not for me. I've tried...several times to end it...and somehow he sneaks back in. Â I need the mountains like I need air. We try to go every Memorial Day weekend. We aren't going to leave till Sunday afternoon and stay till Tuesday. And even if I told him that I just wanted to go with my kids...he would be hanging around here Fri-Sun...and I would feel obligated to take him to my kids ballgame, my friends graduation party, etc. I don't want to do that..and it has to be a no contact thing...which will hurt him (like blocking him from my phone and FB). because this isn't going to work... Â Time to big my big girl pants on and just do it. Good for you...enjoy the fresh mountain air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted May 26, 2016 Share Posted May 26, 2016 Good luck, I hope it takes it like a gentleman though I would imagine there will be some attempts to persuade you. Â Enjoy the weekend with your kids! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarbell Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 Well no contact..deleted numbers and texts ...Didn't block on FB because that seemed juvenile and its not like he's stalking me or harassing me ... His ego and pride are too big to ever stoop to that level. Â Right now not sad....just breaking the habit. We've been super busy so it's been easier. It just wasn't going to work and honestly I feel relieved. Â And really besides having a job and being intelligent-he wasn't my type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Busy is good.  Th breakup is good.....if the relationship didn't work then it didn't work.   You realize I'm just repeating the mantra I'm trying to use , but it seemed like it applied.   take care.  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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