bumbleb Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Since DH passed almost 6.5 years ago, I have been in a constant state of anxiety-filled accomplishment. Keeping up with the house, the kids, my degree, work, attempting to date/have a relationship (HA!!!). I've also battled so many demons along the way, as we all have, some I've defeated, others remain, and I try to live in truce with them. Now, my contract at the university ends July 1st and I don't have another job lined up- I have a few maybe's but I'm rather blase and frustrated about the whole situation. The kids are here for most of the summer, they'll spend a few weeks w/DH's parents and the girl has band camp starting in August. My house/car were demolished with the recent spat of hail storms, I've been dealing with contractors and trying to car shop, it's been a very expensive, stressful process. I'm also back to not sleeping, I'm getting 4 hours max. Soooo..my thought is: take the rest of the summer off once my contract expires. Deal with the house/car/kids, toss in some regular exercise, maybe even throw in a date or two. But I feel anxious and guilty that I won't be accomplishing "real things" b/c I'm not working and in school, ya know, juggling a million balls at once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Perfect , take the time off......sounds lovely to me. You might not know yourself , with sleep from reduced stress you'll feel rejuvinated. It's called a sabbatical, a hiatus, and extended holiday....what ever you call it , it sounds like you deserve it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 bumbleb, At the end of my semester, I had a deeply disappointing set back with my career after a year of tons of rejections for grants and other jobs. I was denied a promotion for reasons that make no sense, that will never make sense. After a year of working tirelessly toward the promotion while dealing with my child's emerging and fairly serious learning challenges, I just couldn't engage it any longer. It has nothing to do with grief, only that I felt spent. Just shattered. So I logged off of Facebook and stopped reading the news apart from the headlines in the morning. I started reading even more than I already did. I started house projects. I'm going to plant my garden on Thursday. It's been good for me. Yes, take the time off for the summer and take care of you. It is the very best investment. Hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Thank you for posting this. Sometimes we can see things more clearly when it applies to someone other than ourselves. I am taking a little time off as well after a stressful year as I prepare for a career change and opening my own practice. It hasn't even been 2 weeks yet and I'm struggling with guilt over not being "productive". But it feels good to catch up on so many neglected things including exercise. It sounds like you need this time too. Why do we waste time feeling guilty?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumbleb Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Thank you everyone. After posting here and getting my thoughts out in this community, I knew I was making the right choice. I am going to focus my mind and body on getting my neglected environment cleaned up and try to keep the "non-productive" guilt at a minimum. I did have the junk guys clean out my garage yesterday, it hasn't been cleaned out since we first moved into the house (over 10 years) and I am amazed at the amount of space I have. When DH was alive, the garage was his man cave so I've never been able to park my car there. Yesterday, I parked my car in the garage for the first time. I felt accomplished, even though my part in the process was signing a check. TooSoon, I've been weaning myself off of social media, it just adds to my feelings of perfect life pressure and inadequacy. It pisses me off and wears me out mentally. It's not worth it anymore. I'm pleasure reading and Netflixing instead. It's really nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrskro Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Bumbleb; The garage or any space being cleaned out is a huge accomplishment, I've have the junk guys in twice now to haul away the useless junk. Good for you for taking the time off and working on you. I've found myself going around and around, work, kids, house, doing 2 people's job raising the kids. Keeping busy that now I'm not sure I can't NOT be busy. enjoy your time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TooSoon Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Wait, you can have junk guys come and take it all away? What have I been doing in my basement for the past 2 days?! Good for you, bumbleb. This is exactly what you need to be doing right now! What are you watching/reading? (you may not know me well but I'm always wanting to know what people are watching/reading). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captains wife Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Honestly, enjoy it! It will give you time to get other stuff done and give yourself some "you" time. I wish I had taken time off work - I kept slugging through and my work suffered and I just felt exhausted. Please enjoy your summer!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoVerySad Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Good for you!! I started counseling a few weeks ago. My counselor told me that the first thing I need to concentrate on is resting, as I've been through some pretty major issues and health concerns since my husband died. I homeschool my son and since we have a break on that for a few months, she felt now was the time for me to make this summer "about me". Resting is much less fun when it's been imposed, so I've been going a little nuts trying to adjust to it. I can't deny how exhausted I have been, though, so I do think it will help me and is necessary. While I formerly was very interested in politics, I have agreed to greatly reduce my time watching/reading the news. Given the craziness of this election cycle, it is probably really good advice. I hope your break helps restore you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mizpah Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 It doesn't sound non-productive to me at all. It sounds like lots of work of the most important kind. Go you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumbleb Posted June 9, 2016 Author Share Posted June 9, 2016 I really appreciate everyone's support. <3 The break will be only 6-7 weeks and I am going to start a list of honey-do's, hopefully I can get them accomplished. The roof guys will be working next week and then window replacement is a few weeks afterward. I'm planning a few day trips with the kids to local lakes and etc. I am still going to job hunt, I'm just not going to stress out about it. I'm just going to try, as hard as I can, to take everything one day at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trying Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 Bumbleb I hope you are easing into your time off and embracing it. I have to say I am really enjoying my time. I start a part time job next week, just 2 days a week and I'm looking for office space to open my own practice but besides that I am getting some projects done around the house, enjoying lots of recreation on the lake, reading a book for pleasure, hanging with my kids and with NG. It feels really good and I will enjoy the slower pace for the time I have it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MauiMermaid Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 bumbleb, Yes, take the time off for the summer and take care of you. It is the very best investment. Hugs. Agreed! Enjoy time for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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