matts225 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I lost my beautiful wife Katie to cancer a little over two weeks ago. We were married for almost 13 years. The past few days have been so difficult, as it seems the initial shock of her passing has worn off and I realize how lost and heartbroken I am without her. She was truly the love of my life and I miss her so much. I never imagined I would be a widower at 38 and be experiencing this much grief and pain. I pray there will be better days ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgib Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 Please accept my heartfelt condolences. There are better days ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julester3 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 So sorry for your loss! Many of us never predicted or planned for our predicaments. Everything will be so fresh and raw for you. Give yourself slack and as much time as you need. Navigating this "new" life is different for everyone but equally hard and challenging. There will be good days, times when you can find your smile or laugh again but there will be sad times that can wipe them out in a second. Take care of yourself and hugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrokenHeart2 Posted January 14, 2018 Share Posted January 14, 2018 I'm sorry on the loss of your wife. Welcome to the group nobody wants to join. You have found a very supportive bunch of people that could help you when it feels like nobody in real life understands what you are going through. Take it one day at a time and even down to one minute at a time if you need too. Remember to drink lots of water as crying is very dehydrating. Take care matts255. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daysofelijah Posted January 15, 2018 Share Posted January 15, 2018 I'm sorry for your loss and that you are enduring this loss. I lost my husband to cancer 5 years ago when I was 37. It is a surreal situation no one should ever have to go through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matts225 Posted January 16, 2018 Author Share Posted January 16, 2018 Thank you all for the kind words. The past few days have been a little better. I did visit with her parents yesterday and that was both comforting and heartbreaking being in the house that my wife grew up in. I will be traveling back home tomorrow to start working part time until I am ready to go back full time. It will be my first time back to our home without her being there to greet me after a long trip. I am dreading that moment but I know it is something that I have to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheelerswife Posted January 16, 2018 Share Posted January 16, 2018 Ah, Matt. My second husband died when I was not at home and returning was difficult. I'm a traveler myself and left home and returned several times - and none of that was easy. I'm sorry you had to lose your Katie at such a young age. The next weeks and months will be full of adjustment for you. I hope you can find some solace from this board, especially from others in a similar time frame. Hugs, Maureen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amandalgh Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself, don't deny emotions, feelings, any of it, everything is normal, and NOTHING is wrong with you in how you process this. There is no rulebook on any of it. The best way I explain my grief to myself is via video games (I don't play, and don't know where I came up with the parallel). This grief is like a video game level/world that was unlocked. You have never played in this level and did not prepare for it. These emotions I experience are new, I've never experienced this level of sadness, loneliness, heartache. Nobody understands this level of life until they've gone through it. so like I said, don't be hard on yourself, take one day at a time. And remind yourself that your wife would want you to smile and look at the bright side of things once you're ready. She would want you to take care of yourself as best you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anni Posted January 19, 2018 Share Posted January 19, 2018 So sorry about your lost since losing your soul mate hurts more than you think you could ever hurt and makes you feel you will never get rid of that hurt. But you have to find a way to cope with this new way of life to just keep going and everyone has their own way. I am 3 months out and coping has helped most days, but others are just too painful. Getting back to work will help fill the hours that pain would fill. Go slow are any changes and I will keep you in the light. Anni Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 My brother, make sure you sob. That is done with the voice. I came through those first weeks/months and made it. Use this forum. Write whatever the heck you want to write. This place completely understands you. You will go through "processing". I discovered one word that had a lot of meaning for me: LOSS Maybe that will help you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddienhp Posted February 1, 2018 Share Posted February 1, 2018 So very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer. Grief is tough; emotions all over the place, sometimes no emotions at all. It's like a rollercoaster. In the early days you might have to remind yourself to eat, sleep, and do basic self care tasks. People here said to make sure to drink water because crying is dehydrating. They said try to get enough sleep and make sure to eat. I followed their advice the best I could. Another thing they said was I was going to survive this. At a little over 6 years, I can say they were right. I send you strength. Know you are not alone. You always have us. We get it. Eileen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newgirl Posted March 18, 2018 Share Posted March 18, 2018 Rest in power, Katie. Cancer here too. Together 12 yrs. He was 39. It's a process. You are going to make it. Keep breathing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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