momtokam Posted November 28, 2016 Share Posted November 28, 2016 So funny klim.... I was at a regular meetup today. It's not a singles one. For the first hour and a half it was me and 3 guys having a great conversation. Same as you, good guys, but no potential suitors....but the mind does wander when the hormones are racing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 This may be a TMI, so I'll apologize ahead of time I think my body has rebooted. My first husband (the first person I was with ever) was not an attentive lover and so I envisioned that I would not want to have sex after that. My second husband was attentive, but it wasn't a favorite past time for me, which I know was frustrating for him as he enjoyed it. Eventually, his health made it impossible for us to have sex and I was okay with that, even though I did desire the feelings occasionally. Fast forward to now with NG: I think of him and want it. There are times when we are close but don't have sex and I'm okay, even though I'm often thinking of jumping him lol. He's away for a while for work and I am already looking forward to when he comes back ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 10, 2016 Share Posted December 10, 2016 Consistency is what I want!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 I need a sex weekend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 I made a gift for NG - a sex coupon book ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tybec Posted December 22, 2016 Share Posted December 22, 2016 Arneal! How fun! YOU go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted December 26, 2016 Share Posted December 26, 2016 The coupon book was a success -- he was very surprised. The other gifts were appreciated as well. The funniest moment: one of the coupons was for a fulfillment of a fantasy; he says his fantasies are pretty boring (never gave an example though) and when I said it didn't matter because he was the coupon holder, he giggled. Should make for an interesting new year ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klim Posted January 1, 2017 Share Posted January 1, 2017 I just want hugs and kisses....not really sex but it's what I want right now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RyanAmysMom Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 Holy freaking hell, people! I got on here and read a little - and now I can't think! It's been 18 months since my husband passed - and he had been ill prior to his passing, so it's been too long....... Oh that desire to have skin contact with someone - in any form...... I'm not sure I'm capable of having a relationship at this point, but I contacted a man and asked him to meet me for coffee this week...... I pray I can control my thoughts and behavior! If anything happens, I blame all of you!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 2, 2017 Share Posted January 2, 2017 RyanAmysMom -- I think we'll all shoulder the blame happily ;D My LH had prostate cancer surgery in 2007, so intimacy changed dramatically for us all of a sudden and for the next nine years was basically cuddling and kissing only. I was never one who wanted sex much, most likely because of the first husband (I've posted enough about him around these boards so I won't go into it here ...). Anyway, when LH died last year after other lengthy illnesses, I found myself in a weird new place. He'd told me and our former pastor that one of his biggest fears was that I'd be alone for the rest of my life (he knows I'm not a big 'people person') and I realized pretty quickly that I didn't want to be alone forever. I suddenly had that skin hunger. Being a caregiver had caused me to not attend much to intimacy. After LH died, I realized it had been about 25 years total (between first husband's death, being a single mom, remarrying, second husband's illness, son leaving home, second husband's death) that I'd spent caring for others and not focusing on my needs and desires. I first started seeing NG last May and was about to go out of my mind the first time he kissed me -- I thought I was going to rip his clothes off! However, I managed to keep my cool and eventually we got together. I am grateful but there are days when I can't think of anything but being with him ... greedy, I suppose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 I honestly just want to be held by someone that wants me, not just sex. I've been avoiding sex because of everything that's going on with my dad. I want the emotional connection, comfort, and support right now. Not just sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 So important, Virgo. It's about developing a connection. The problem is that the scammers try to take advantage of widows and widowers ... they see us as vulnerable open wallets so many times it seems. However, as you know what you want, you can more clearly see the fakes. It's nice to have someone to talk to and go out with, someone who wants to be around us for the people we are. If sex is in the cards, it'll happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I'm ready for a connection, a relationship. I haven't been approached by scammers, but plenty of guys just wanting sex. That's not a bad thing, but just not what I want right now. Of course that could change too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest wecouldbeheros Posted January 5, 2017 Share Posted January 5, 2017 I'm looking for intellect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 There is something about the closeness of intimacy, the smell of another human being when aroused, the electricity of being touched all over, of desiring and being desired, hearing breathing and feeling it on the back of your neck ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 arneal Where is that like button? The closest physical contact that I've had since DH died 3 years ago, is slow dancing with paddle board dude. We were at a bar with live music when a slow song came on. I can't even say how much I LOVED holding him close and moving in rhythm. I'm not one to get into a sexual relationship until there's a commitment, at least I don't think I am - but that night I woke up to feeling sexual again. I pretty much had turned everything off for 3 years. I'm not sure that there's a future relationship with paddle board dude, but whew!! I need to find a boyfriend! : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 10, 2017 Share Posted January 10, 2017 Thanks, trying -- since I stepped into this whirlpool of a dating world I had to do a lot of reading as I know nothing about dating (first relationship in college turned to marriage and lasted for 9 hard years, was alone for a bit and then started seeing the man who became my second husband and that lasted for a total of 16 years, so 25 years that didn't include dating). One thing that seems part of the whole modern scene is this idea of commitment. Today, it's common for it to exist without labels ... without the two people telling folks they are a 'thing'. It seems a lot more casual in general. I don't pressure NG to call me his girlfriend and I've only referred to him as my boyfriend once or twice and then in writing to a friend. Personally as an almost 50-year-old, I feel funny calling a 52-year-old man my 'boyfriend' Semantics ... the bottom line is that we are exclusive; we are on the same page about monogamy and didn't become sexually active without that understanding. I only have my son nearby for family, but he hasn't met NG. I've met NG's daughter briefly during the holidays. The commitment is there and shows up in ways that are funny to me, like he is upgrading his motorcycle and was very clear about having a helmet for me and making sure the new seat will be comfortable for us. He plans trips together. And this one time I posted something on social media about getting random friend requests from men I didn't know, he made sure to respond that whoever they are, they better go away. It was especially funny to me because he was on the road for work at the time and followed his comment by saying he'd be home in a couple days I do find myself enjoying the physical connection with him more than I ever thought I would. The first husband was all about his own pleasure and cared nothing about mine. My LH was attentive but I was still quite guarded after the first marriage. Now, I feel very free and am about both NG and my enjoyment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trying2breathe Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 arneal Yup, the sex thing - this is all so new to me that I'm not really sure what I want to do. I think that I'll try to wait for a committed relationship, whatever it's labeled and as I'm in my 50's won't expect to call him boyfriend! I appreciate the heads up on this - it does seem juvenile at my age. My daughter leaves for her first year of college in the fall - I feel like now's the time for me to get out there and get something going. Whole new world out there - I'm hopeful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Good for you, trying. I have a friend whose son left this year. However, she has a crazy work schedule and he comes home on holidays pretty regularly. She is our age and I struggle when she asks for dating advice because she is more conservative than I (for example, no sex until married). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 I caved and met up with my fwb last night. No regrets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Missing that like button, Virgo. I am looking forward to the weekend myself in hopes of connection ... sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 It had been over a month for me. To long! I ideally want an exclusive relationship, but until then... I hope you get that connection this weekend Arneal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 You know, it's funny. For years I could go without even thinking about sex. Now, with NG, I find that I crave it. I do my best to be patient and not jump him when he comes in the door lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virgo Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 My drive has always been the same...overdrive! A month was very difficult for me. It's good that you desire him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Eek -- desire is putting it mildly! It's crazy! :o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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