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In love with a divorcee


Guest Mel4072
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I think there is a lot of good advice here.  My addition to all the advice that has been given is to know that the ex, especially when children are involved, will always have some sort of impact on your relationship.  There are great examples of those who are divorced that make it work well and there are lots of examples of the opposite.  The ex's behavior isn't going to change just because he's in another relationship.  That is something you need to make sure you can live with.

 

To put it nicely DH had a challenging relationship with his ex.  Because I have step kids it continues to impact my life, and not in a positive way.

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Guest Mel4072

SimiRed,

I think this forum is a great way to work through the issues that we each face. I pray for you and your son. I know you can work through this and I hope that it's sooner, rather than later. I hope that sharing your story here will help you!

Yes, great advice and insight here.

Serpico, why did you sign that way? I don't get it....

I am willing to wait but I've also learned how to enjoy life. I am grateful for that. Very grateful!

I did not ask to be single at this age. Just doing like everyone else here and trying to live my life the best way possible.

I have my priorities in life and I keep a close eye on my daughter. We talk too. I want her to have security and that comes in the form of "Mom will take care of me. Provide and protect, guide and support." No man will come first in my life as long as I keep God first. Hopefully, I've got that part figured out.

Life is not always what we want it to be but we do have a choice in how we respond.

Thank you everybody here for the support!!!

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Guest look2thesky

SR., sorry for writing this but it sounds almost as if you write from a prison cell.

I truly hope for you and your son, and that he doesn't grow up thinking this is how normal husbands treat women.

I'm no expert but I've seen firsthand the control element which almost always escalates, and thankful for some sane advise some nice people here instilled in me. Just a humble opinion, and that is all.

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SimiRed, I don't know you, as some others here seem to, but I worry for you (and your son).  I want to ask, "Are you ok?," but it seems you are not, so a stupid question.  Wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.  And even though it's a stupid question: are you ok???

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Guest look2thesky

Mel I think almost everyone here would wish you well.

If you think this man is for you than the best is to say go for it.

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Mizpah, that is a big question...the answer is No, I'm not okay. 

 

I don't want to hijack Mel's thread, this is her support thread and in time, a few days maybe, I'll need to make my own thread for support from those who supported me most.  But, today, I can't do that...

 

No, I'm not okay...I am so terrified, I'm struggling to claw my nails in this deep dark hole to the top...sometimes I slip back, but the last few days, I see the tiniest sliver of light...tiny, If I keep clawing, I'll get to it.

 

To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there?s no way of life.  To make it right, it's the pain and suffering I must face again.

 

All I want is confidence to be me.

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SR,

 

Concerned for your well-being--on all fronts. Your self-confidence has been slow-bled from you, so it's no wonder you find yourself in the middle of the proverbial intersection, momentarily paralyzed.

 

When you are able, do begin that thread. Begin to win back your betrayed (hell, eviscerated) sense of trust--even if it's only in your own instincts, at first. Begin to hope for a better, deserved life. Begin to formulate a plan for the debacle you're in currently.

 

Above all--first--please begin.

 

Your worth is too valuable for this.

 

Baylee

 

 

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Guest marian1953

well, see what I started?

glad everyone is well- so glad SimiRed is freeing herself.

love, Marian

 

 

none of us should take any type of abuse- widowed or not.

 

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