MR

Hi Bromans, So sorry for you loss. Can't welcome you to club but it is reality. I had similar issues and was sleeping on couch for almost 2 months but kept trying to sleep on bed in between. I started gym, spending more time on work related stuff, may be a drink or 2 might help if you drink. Crying helps too. If you are sleeping few hours at night for now it is fine and it will get better with passage of time and body need to relax. Also sometimes sleeping few hours at night and may be a nap in evening helps to relax body. I spoke to my doctor and he prescribed anxiety medicine which I decided not to take. Hugs Manoj

We didnt had will and my wife was in ICU and I was almost driving 100-200 Kms a day in the city and suddenly strikes me that what if something happens to me my kids will not get anything as wife was in coma. So went to lawyer and created a blanket will where everything which belongs to me were to split between 2 kids equally. My son is 19 so I was able to make him executor and guardian for her sister. It is a tough time to go thru but we don't have choice. We are in a place which was not chosen by us so anything else can happen in future. I am planning to revisit will but no rush as everything is going to kids just need to detail them but as it is not mandatory I think I am fine.

Hi CandiceS, So sorry for your loss and the circumstances god has put you in. I started work with in few days of funeral and both my kids started their new semester. My advice is similar to everyone else take it easy but don't let the condition you are in effect your semester as you have worked hard on this semester. It is very easy to say but we all know very difficult to do as we can't concentrate. Yes good idea to connect with school body which can help you. Hugs Manoj

So true.

Great tribute

Fu.. This roller coaster emotions which make me feel fine one day and back to 1st month another day.

Hi Candice, So Sorry that you have to be part of this group. First few months are going to be mixed of different kinds of emotions. So please take care of yourself eat and drink as much water as you. If you are fine then only you can take care of your kids. Cry if you feel like just don't keep it inside. Keep writing and all of us will be listening and helping. Hugs Manoj

I am going thru the same. Last month was not bad but for last few days it is like everything comes back in cycle. It feels I am back to month 1 except can't cry same way. So started taking one day at a time day Strategy and let's hope it works, In fact as Trying said we don't have option we have to make it work.

Yes it is tough every month I think i will donate her stuff but can't get courage so they are still there. Finally tomorrow took out some stuff but again starting feeling low. Thanks Manoj

Hi sikeuritgadeun, Sorry you have to go thru these but we all are with you at each step. Vent out in forum as that helps or just keeping posting on other's posting. Nobody can give us more pain than the pain god has given us by taking away our spouse so try to take things in positive way. Your friend left you his/her loss that they are not around a real friend. These people were never real friend so why bother about them. Hugs. Manoj

So sorry for your loss AC. I am 7 months out today and still can't go thru the wardrobe as start crying or feels her smell in some clothes. Take it easy and if you want to go somewhere for spring break please do so. I went to India planning everything last minute in Dec and trust me it was worth all the efforts it took me as I was finally able to smile few times without faking it. So sometimes we have to give ourself some credit for going thru this phase and still alive. Good luck and hugs

Make sure to talk to him about his dad as sometimes we forget about it and kids starts missing them but wouldn't open to us.

Great ideas.. I have been doing some of it like decided to call cleaning lady once every 2-3 weeks instead of trying to do the same. Cooking was never my strength but learned some basic stuff like never put too much salt spices and chilly as adding them later is not an issue but can't remove them. Share with chores with daughter. Bought some clothes (pj,socks and undergarments) as didn't have enough laundry every week so can't go for 2 weeks or more. Also biggest thing was stop comparing my work to my wife work as that was killing she was able to keep house too clean and I just can't with my schedule.

Hi MelGibbs, So sorry for you loss and you had to join this club. Please take everything easy as first few weeks we don't know what we are doing. Don't think too much about future right now just take one baby step at a time. Hopefully things will be little better. Hugs Manoj

I am in continuous touch with my MIL as she is only person other than me and kids who is in pain even after more than 6 months. Rest is if they call I call. Manoj

Hi Monique, So sorry for your loss. As time passes the feeling of isolation will reduce and you will also learn to deal with them. This board is great to pour out your feelings. Write some journal as that might help but you really need to talk whether with a friend, family member or therapist. Drink lots of water and eat healthy as much as possible. God will give us some strength to deal with it. Hugs Manoj

Hi Tybec, Sorry to hear about the situation. Is it possible for you to marry in another state or country or islands. This might help in getting legally married and also keeping your benefits. Just my 2 cents. Thanks Manoj

I am 6 months out but having similar feeling that when with friends and family I am relaxed and able to enjoy little(use to be fake enjoyment earlier). So planning to keep doing it so that go move little forward from this stage. Yes nights and mornings are tough but only going to bed when I know I can't keep my eyes open as that way I can just lay down and sleep. Still not getting more than 4-5 hours of sleep but I can see it is little more than earlier.

Hi Rayspumpkin, Sorry you have to go thru this. I don't think you did anything wrong as he was in your thoughts whole time. cemetery is not him. He is heaven and must be feeling happy that you were thinking about him. I think it is the thoughts which matter. Tomorrow will be a better day. If not day after tomorrow will be. We all need to think positive as we already got so much negativity in life. Hugs Manoj

I agree normal people will think we are crazy as 6 months (in my case) is lot for them. Made some friends within this group and can talk to them any time. Sometimes we are on phone at 2 AM feels good not to be alone all the time.

Hi Geminigirl, I was having similar problems as yours in terms of finding the right group. Then somehow I landed on meetup.com and found group of Div/sep/widow(er) and joined and went to a dance event. Everyone was good and all age range but mostly near my age (44) so was easy for me to mingle. Now I meet them once or twice a week or have them on whatsapp group so it helps. Some of them call me daily. Hugs Manoj

Nice article but life always doesn't give you chance to do this kind of stuff.

Hi Beth and Geminigirl, I was feeling same thing till last few week and then decided to join a group where people just meet for a coffee or drink and now the pain is less. Some of these people are awake late at night so feeling of loniless has gone down quite a lot. I would recommend do something like this and it might work for you too. I am not happy but not same sad as earlier. Hugs Manoj

Congrats. Better news than last night Trump speech.... ;)

General Question to everyone: Do we need to create a whatsapp group. The only issue I see is that phone numbers will be visible. Please let me know your ideas.