MR

Fuck the pain as it keeps growing some days.

I had those moments today while a song was played in car and couldn't control myself. All things needs to be done but by alone me.

Hi Angel, You have described exactly what I am going thru. Leaving to visit family in India (20 hrs flight) in less than 48 hours but haven't even took the clothes for me or kids to take. I suppose our priority changes as we go thru this phase. Hugs Manoj

Hugs to everyone feeling sad reading all the above but I suppose that's the life of us all wids.

This is exact me. I don't have energy to do anything unless it is related to kids where I don't have an option.

Hi MACC and everyone, I did same once with each kid as they were not ready to do something very important at that movement of time. I did say sorry after that but now when I think it is not first time I have got angry on them but had been numerous times but the only difference is that those times their mom was alive. I think it is our personal wid situation which makes us feel guilty. Now learning to have more patience with them as most of those tasks were done by my DW earlier. We are not perfect and neither our kids are so let's hold each other and move forward. Tx Manoj

Hi Adventureland, sorry for you loss. I had same feeling in my wife's case where I was about to reschedule the doc appointment but saw wife in pain and didn't do it. I was telling my daughter the same thing and she said Dad what is the guarantee that if you reschedule the appt this would not happen and left me speechless. So just take it as destiny and try to move forward as feeling guilt is the biggest problem of all of us. Hugs Manoj

Yes there is some corelation with imp dates and this kind of stuff. I got a call from Doctor back when my wife was in ICU to discuss her situation and it was my birthday so thought will be good news gift from god but I was told she is brain dead and now they need to remove ventilator. What a gift to get on your birthday, now don`t want to remember my birthday ever.

Hi mmg19, 6% with secured principal is tough in most of the markets now-a-days. The only thing I can think of is buying a property and renting them but of course it depends on your total investment. Investing in blue chips which pays good dividend is one of the ways to go. Normally market turmoil will touch them but in long ran should be fine. Tx Manoj

Yes that's the nature of this grief that some moments you feel so bad that you have to cry and some moments you are thinking about it. Keeping moving forward one step at a time

Hugs SailOn, We all have our trigger moments. I am only 3 months but still don't know what small things can trigger moment. So please hold on and keep on moving. Only think one moment at a time. If it helps then please cry as holding back is not going to help either. This board is a good place to talk as someone will reply. They say time is healer I don't agree as the scar is always going to be left but i can assure that time does help as you learn how to control your emotions. Peace Manoj

Hi Rob, Happy Birthday for girls. I think after been in our situation we get more sensitive and even small things can trigger our emotions E.g when my LW was with me I didn't care if someone would have set we will invite you and then call back but now if that happens it feels like it is due to our specific situation. I think it is best to ignore just AH and move forward as the most imp thing for us to take care of kids. Manoj

We were having 13 day rituals for my wife and the priest started telling my sister how people remarry now days and then later in the evening she was wanted to discuss it and i had to stop her. I don't understand why people can't understand importance of timing. It hurts us but probably they don't realize and may be in past we would have made similar mistakes.

Yes some days are bad. On Sunday did quite bit of driving as need to deliver something to my son who is uni around 100 KM from place and it was snowing. Came home and noticed whole mess on kitchen slabs which I did while preparing some food for kids. Didn't feel like cleaning but had to do some cleaning so that I can use one of them in morning for my daughter breakfast prep. I don't know how long I can carry like this but have to as kids still need me.

It has been just 3 months for me but seems like I haven't got rest for 30 years. Use to be very strong and can work like 16-18 hours with physical and mental work but now with few hours and I feel drained. Lost weight so should look better but looks like 10 yrs older. I hope it is temp.

Same here don't want to go on but need to as kids need me. So please try to find a reason and it will help.

Same here yesterday was 3 months. Some days I don't cry much but some days can't stop. It seems life has stopped for me and I am dragging it forward for kids. Hugs to everyone

GM Misty, We had major festival Diwali in Nov and use to favorite one for my LW and I was going thru the same emotions as you but just not thinking too much about it and let the day go by as it goes good bad whatever made me thru the day. I cried few times but at the end day was over. My Inlaws and my family also left me soon after the funeral as they all live in India only my mom was left along with my kids so taking one day at the time is working for me but to many things exhaust you so try one at a time. With my first WA coming I don't how will I handle it but let's hope for the best. Also winter here in Toronto is around the corner so less and less people on street so you can't even go outside and stand at night. Hugs and take care MR

We already started reno on our basement and had to stop due to her hospitalization. Finally told contractor to start again so that I can finish it as dry walls were done and it is mess everywhere. I am 3 month out but still can't find any energy to do work. I have decided to hold all major decisions for 6 months. Have 2 cars and paying insurance but don't want to take hasty decisions not sure if I am doing right or not.

3 months and I still get emotional and want her back thinking enough of mind games. I don't see there will any day in my life when I will not cry but as everyone says it will get better with time so hoping for that.

Huge hugs to you. When you start thinking you try to connect points. My wife had medical injury a day before we meet 20 years back and then I was told by Doctors that she is brain dead on my birthday when I was expecting her life as gift from god. More we think more this kind of connections we make. Sorry for you loss. MR

I am sorry for you loss mekender but your eulogy is beautiful

I finally feel i found friends who can understand what I am going thru. Tx MR

Great. Let`s see someone else want`s to join

Hi MB, I am not 5 months out but 12 weeks and going thru similar things like you. I am also in Toronto. -- Finishing the transfer of accounts etc which were in my LW name as there was no will which makes it more complicated. She had one business just in here name. I was doing everything but on papers she was the owner. -- I am planning to pursue medical malpractice case but waiting for Autopsy report which is taking a long time at least according to me. -- My basement was half done when the incident happened so have started the work back in basement but feel so helpless when it comes to chosing colors etc as it was her passion and interest. -- Can't sleep for longer than 4-5 hours so full body is in stress so started getting some massage to relax those muscles and started streching too. -- Lost almost 12Kg and want to lose another 7 Kg. -- Self confidence is low don't feel like walking head up as feel inferior but getting better on this one. -- No Family here everyone is like 20 hours flight away with 10 hours time difference. -- Don't feel like working on my projects as motivation is low. -- Never dated anyone as mine was arranged marriage and don`t even think I can do justice to anyone else. So in total feel like life is screwed and might not be same as earlier but had to move forward for my kids. Hugs MR