ladybug

I wish I had magic words for all of us....to take away the pain....but I don't have magic words. I do understand the pain of loss....I too have lost a lot of very special folks through out the years. Someone gave me this saying and I put it on my fridge....hope it helps a bit... NEW BEGINNINGS ARE OFTEN DISGUISED AS PAINFUL ENDINGS.

I just want to add my 2 cents to this....It has been many years now since my husband passed away. In the early weeks I looked around my town to find a support group and I did find one. The lady that was the head of it was very kind and she was understanding....that is to a certain point. My first evening at the group (I had only been a widow for less than a month at that time).....she said to me I was young and pretty and that I would find another mate soon. I was shocked and very hurt. She still had her husband, so didn't understand what I was going through. I only went to the group 2 times......she did not get it for sure. No one truly gets it unless they have experienced it also.....only widows really understand what it feels like to be a widow. It is very helpful to have this place.....thank you to all.

It has been almost 8 years for me. It feels a lot longer, and in some ways, it feels like it was just last month. Strange how grief can catch us off guard. Thank you for posting your 10 year mark. I always like to hear from others who have been on this journey longer than me. Thank you for taking the time to post, it means a lot to all of us here. Thanks.

My husband would have loved to see the new Star Wars movie. I know he would have loved it. Even after all these years I still see things that I know he would have loved to see and do. I miss him so very much, even though I don't say that to any one very often. They would not understand that feeling of being a widow. Has we all know, some days are a lot harder than others. Thanks for being there everyone.

I miss my old life more than I could ever say. My life has been changed forever. I miss my sweet husband and the life we had together. My husband had a good job, and he always made sure we had things.....he was a very thoughtful man towards his family. I was blessed to have had him for my husband. I only hope now to make him proud of me. I try and have a good life, but it is not the same. I am sure everyone understands that feeling. One day at a time....there really isn't any other way.

Rob, first off I love your post.....thank you so very much for sharing. It gave me tons of ideas for my own life and friendships. I have very few friends, but I think I will put more effort into getting more and being more of a friend myself. Thank you for sharing, it has helped me more than you know....thanks.

I too am waiting for my chapter 2. I have dated a little bit and have not found "the one" yet. I am glad to know there are others who are still looking. Sometimes I feel like the only one who doesn't have a mate. One day at a time.

So very sorry to hear about your friend. But for the grace of God go I......One day at a time is all any of us can do.....sometimes I can only do one hour at a time. Been there and done that way too many times. Thanks for sharing.

I agree with the lady who said that FB is the devil. It seems it makes more problems for us. I try to not read it too much. I understand your pain.

I am sure this happens to others has well.....but out of the blue yesterday I starting missing my husband so very much. It has been many years since he passed, but yesterday was still hard. I didn't see it coming. Just wanted to share this morning. Sometimes grief comes out of the blue. Wow, I didn't see that coming. Wishing everyone a good day.

Potato chips of course... a great book or a great movie?

I wish I had asked my husband what was all of his favorite things in life. I wish I had a list of his favorite things in life, so I could surround myself with them all. I know that sounds crazy, but it is how I feel today. I miss him so very much and I will always love him dearly.

So very sorry you are going through a breakup. It is always painful. I went through one last fall. It hurts for a while and then it does get better. Sending you good thoughts for the day ahead.

Thanks for sharing.....I understand what you mean all too well. I often wish I could turn back the clock to another time and enjoy things like I used to enjoy them. I still enjoy some things, but not in the same intense way like before I was a widow. I listen to music on U tube that my husband and I loved. I miss our "glory days" more than I could ever put into words. Thanks for sharing.

Another summer ahead for all of us. This will be my 8TH summer has a widow. I don't feel has sad has the other summers, but it still is lonely. Where did the time go, it went so very fast. I will always miss my sweet husband, but I am slowly moving on. So very thankful for everyone on this board. I read it every day. Thanks.

Thank you so very much for sharing this beautiful story. It helps to know that others are going through tough times also, and how they get through them.

Thank you for sharing.

I understand what everyone said and how hard it is to "move on". I had to sell my husband's work truck and all his tools. They were no good to me and I needed the money. His family didn't want me to do that, but I had to do it. Why keep a huge truck and tons of tools around, that are in the way of my life. I know that sounds very harsh, but it is the way that I looked at it. That was years ago and things were never the same between his family and I again. Our loved ones are gone now and we need to take care of us. My husband was a very good man, and I know he would want me to take care of myself. In my opinion, we honor them when we take care of ourselves.

Yes, I understand what you are saying. This coming summer will be my 8th being a widow. Some days it feels like it just happened. I think in terms of, one day at a time, it seems to help. Just wanted you to know you are not alone.

It has been almost eight summers that I have been widowed. This year I am going to seriously look for a good man. I am tired of being alone all the time. I don't share this in real life.....no one would understand. I am working on myself. I see a future and I am not so sad.

It is okay to laugh about this.....believe me I have laughed about it too.....when i got home....not on the date. This very nice man from work asked me to go out with him on New Year's Eve. I was very happy about that and said yes. Well here is what happened on the date. We went to his place. He does not have any heat...he is too cheap to put the heat on.....he has money. He made us a very cold salad for supper with a glass of water. He then said lets watch a movie I picked up for us. The movie was OUT OF AFRICA. He got it from the library. It is a very old and beyond boring movie. There we were in his living room, with no heat. He was on the floor in a blanket and I was sitting on the sofa. When the movie was finally over, he said thank you for coming over. Then he took me home. I was home by 10 o'clock. He asked me what I would have been doing if he didn't ask me out for New Years. I said I would have watched TV. He then said .....well you didn't have much options anyway. How nuts is that....I am laughing about it now....but it was not funny at the time. Just wanted to share a very funny and very cold date. Thanks,

Dating is very strange. I have been on a few dates. The problem, I find is that the men wait weeks between dates. One guy asks me out about two times a month. He seems interested, but I don't understand why the big gap in the dates. The dates always go good. Maybe, he dates others in between our dates. Not sure what to think at this point. Thanks for starting this post.....it is very interesting to see how others are coping in this area.

Thank you for sharing. I agree that love is rare. I didn't really understand that until I became a widow. Wow. Next summer will be my 8TH summer has a widow. I can't believe that so much time has passed. I don't know where it all went. I still think of him EVERYDAY. This is the year that I am going to seriously look for a good and kind man to share some time with. Not sure how to word this, but I am tired and sad to spend the years alone. I still have some good years left and I want to share them with someone. I have cried a lot since I have been a widow. I don't want to live this way any more. Not sure where my journey will take me, but I do know I don't want to be alone any more. Life is met to be shared (in my opinion). Thanks for starting this post. I read here everyday.

I have been a widow for over 6 years. I have dated a few men.....but I will never get over my husband. I have just learned to live with the pain of his passing. There is not a day that I don't think of him. I don't cry everyday any more, but I still think of him and miss him very much. People who have not go through this will never understand what we feel. They are very blessed indeed, and they don't even realize it. I wish I could turn back the clock and be that married lady again......those were my best days. So very sorry you are in pain. I do understand how you feel.

I think this is a great idea. I live in CT. Please, if anyone is from CT, just message me and we could see if we live close by.