BrokenHeart2

Awesome post SVS!! I too don't know how I would have done this the past 3+ yrs either! I have found comfort knowing I wasn't alone in this and that I wasn't loosing my mind. To know that others have felt similar really helped me so much. I hope I was also, along the way to help bring a bit of comfort to others as well. I call my wids my soft pillows to fall on. My lovely down filled soft pillows!! Hugs to all of you!

I hear you G. It's just not the same and so weird to do. I pray one day we find a way to celebrate again, time will tell. Big giant hug to you.

I hear you DW. I have to do that now and that was his thing. I miss so many of those little things too. I didn't realize just how many there were. Like the sky, it covers everything

I am so sorry you have to go through this again. Your angst is certainly understandable after what you've all been through. Gentle hugs to you T.

1. Got my hair cut. Shortest its been in 44 yrs and I love it! 2. Don't sweat the small stuff....yeah I know, hard to believe eh! 3. Bought a CRV I like it much more than the Accord 4. I learned how to use the riding mower and now I know why you always wanted to cut the grass. And no, I haven't driven it into the lake yet LOL! 5. Got the tanks out of the garage, cleaned up and can actually see the floor now. 6. The 4 tight friends we had....gone. I know that's a shocker for you, I don't get it either. 7. Kathleen got her new lungs and she is thriving!!! Not about me but still a major in our lives. 8. Don't give a shit about the cob webs and dust. I get around to it when I feel like it. I know, shocker isn't it. 9. I'm finally starting to find my way in the terrible widow journey and I'll be ok. :-*

Yes SVS, I too am experiencing this. Last night I went with out to a restaurant to celebrate my nieces graduation. There were 3 couples (2 not family) and 2 nieces and a nephew. It was somewhat difficult listening to the couple banter going back and forth. They have no idea how lucky they are. Then when the bills came they couple bantered while I got my single one. That sure hit me. Reminded me of how alone I am. It's amazing how all consuming this widowhood can be sometimes. I believe as I do this more it won't bother me as much. Just another adjustment to get used to. Big hugs and enjoy your long weekend!

Couldn't agree more TS. We were asked and we're all just giving our own life experience and opinions as was asked. I love the varied experience we all offered! Hugs to my wids!

I have 5 siblings and when we finished high school and had a job we had to pay rent. I didn't go to college for a year so I had to pay rent. When I went to college I didn't have to pay rent. With my 2 stepkids (now in the late 20's) we bought them a car (very rural), they had to pay insurance and gas. DH was great at car repairs. If they were not in school they paid rent. We also paid for their college tuition and the agreement was if they failed they had to pay us for the semester. I believe it is a terrific way for them to begin to learn self responsibility and ease them into the 'adult' world. They learn to pay their own bills on time. We didn't pay for cell phones either. It's a luxury they needed to learn to pay for. My sister has 3 boys, 2 late teens and one is early 20's living on his own. She has paid way too much for them and their finances are a mess and run back to Mom all the time. None of them are in school and 1 isn't even working. Why bother, Mom pays for everything anyway. Good luck! Hugs.

Thank you AA. I think you are bang on. I was and still am unemployed since DH died and it's been a horrid I 3 yrs and I'm actively looking to no luck. It is what it is but I'm sure eventually I'll find something. Thanks for your post. It really needs to be heard, Hugs to all

Thanks Bunny. Awesome share!

:-\

What a great Idea IMD tomlet the guys in your life know how you appreciate them and how they've impacted your world. I like it. . DH never wanted a big deal made out of FD. He thought it was commercial. The kids appreciated him all year he didn't need a day. He used to go fishing LOL. We all have our own ways I guess.

Hey TS, I think you said it a whole hell of alot better than I did! Thanks.

Some of what was commented on could have been put in a private message instead but first asking if he wanted the advise. I think he commented in his post he didn't want any, he just wanted to get his thoughts out of his head. Isn't this supposed to be the safe place to do that when so many don't get us. When I read it, it seemed harsh for a man in such pain to have to take. I remember being in that depth of pain. Taking a hard criticism would have had me "outta here fast" as well. I think sometimes some "old timers" need to step back a bit and remember how raw and hard the early days are. Sometimes good intentions can pave the road to hell. So sorry ALD. If I remember correctly you weren't looking for advise but to just vent. I hope you come back eventually or just read if you find enough support that way. Hugs to you ALD.

TS. Good for you to make that enourmous step! More like humoungeous!

You all have no idea how timely this post is for me right now. I have nothing to offer but...thank you!! Once again my pillows are here. Thank you again.

So sorry NT they took it out on you. As if it wasn't going to be hard enough for you as it was. Some people......ok I'll stop there. Hugs

Well said Sandrine. I wish it could be the same today too. Hugs to you.

ATJ that is beautiful and so true!

Sounds lovely. Your daughter sounds like me at her age. She'll be just fine. As DH said to me the day before he died "the only constant in life is change" Best of luck to all of you!

Thank you for sharing your story of Shirley!!

The circling is done and I have survived. It wasn't as bad a day as I thought it would be like the past 2. I'm kinda proud of myself. I'm sitting on the deck thinking about our life we had together and now I'm going to have a tub and go to bed. Good night to y'all!

Hey TS, get out of my head!! LOL I can completely relate to your post!! My pillows are always a keystroke away and hope to meet some in Toronto in July!!! When I look back to 2013 I can't imagine its been 3 yrs and we've survived. It's still hard but becoming bearable and I get to see how our fellow 2013'ers are doing. All at different stages and that's ok too! I'm hoping for better things for me this coming year. Nothing specific but a shift in me. Kinda weirds me out at times and kinds makes me have something to look forward to. I could not imagine even thinking this a couple of yrs ago. Thank you to all you pillows for helping my landing to be somewhat softer!! You all rock!4 Hugs

Hi Samdrine I'm so sorry for your loss, yes, life is so unfair. We get it. I'm sorry you had to join us but post here anytime. You will find support from the amazing people here. We get it. Big gentle hugs to you.

Thanks for sharing that Bunny. "No one ever loved me the way he did" So eloquently stated!