BrokenHeart2

Beautiful letter GG.

Thanks NT no you aren't losing it lol. I have 5 siblings. I believe I'm the only one that knows all of their birthdays. I was always the one to connect and over the past 4 yrs I have been doing much less of that. I'm tired of always being the one. I don't post much on fb either. I did not post anything yesterday about DH and neither did my 2 stepkids. I don't know why she did it, well I do think it was for attention. I guess the only pic she could find was one with my brother, yeah right. I'm really hating fb these days. Way to phony for me. I'm only on now because of the community stuff I'm involved in and oh yeah, I'm a bit of a political junkie All this stupidity too shall pass.

Thank you NT. I don't know what they're looking for but she got all kinds of condolences. Unbelievable. I deleted my other post this morning because I thought it sounded whinny.

Thank you to all of you. Once again you are my pillows.

Opps, I hit quote instead of modify and can't delete this comment LOL

Hello Wids Today has been 4 yrs since I lost my DH and I am feeling so different than I did last year. I went back at looked at my post and there was slight "circling" but nothing like I felt last year and for that I am thankful. Here's a link to a year ago: http://widda.org/index.php/topic,2273.0.html4 I have become more involved with my community and I believe it has helped me immensely and I've also joined Victoria's Quilts and learning to quilt which I'm getting so much out of. There is also a singer I saw a few months ago and bought her CD but didn't start listening to until a few days ago. There is one of the songs that I am sort of relating to which is kind of cool. Here's a link to the song: She is a terrific artist and I love her whole CD. You are all still my pillows on those hard days when I need that soft place to fall and for that I thank all of you! Hugs

Hey Jen, do you ever take the time to "yell and scream "it's not fair!" at the top of my lungs"? Sometimes it can be cathartic. Lord knows I have done it and I must admit it helps! You have no idea if you are the only one feeling this way at your time frame. You never know if others are reading and thinking "wow, glad I'm not the only one". Cut yourself some slack and just keep on going. One other thing I do, is not compare myself to anyone else. I'm the only one that has walked in my shoes and it does me no benefit to compare myself to others. We are all unique in our own quirky ways! Wouldn't this world be so boring if we were all the same. Hugs to you.

Absolutely. I take social media as whatever you post expect that the world can see it. On facebook you can have private setting for friends only. I have never assumed that it is that secure.

Alright, I'm biting. What are you talking about?

Very well said Bunny!!

Hi KK no I don't think it is wrong at all. That's how you feel. If you don't think you want her back in your life for whatever reason, I think that's valid. There are people that if they apologized for what they have done I would gladly accept their apology but that doesn't mean they will be back in my life as before. Do you need her back in your life to be there for you? Only you can answer those questions to yourself and then decide what you want. As for the posting pics of hubby etc, do you think she did that to hurt you or was she just getting on with her life. Hugs

About 2 yrs after DH died his 2 sisters decided it would be a good idea to invite his ex wife to holiday family meals. I was with DH over 20 yrs. I now have nothing to do with either of them. They are out of my life. They didn't bother to even talk to me about it, bye bye to them.

I'm at 4 yrs and I wear my band when I feel like it. I don't give a sweet flying fox fart (local radio host used to say this lol) what anyone thinks. What in my head doesn't reflect what's on my finger. Do what is right for you!

Welcome SHerbster to the group nobody wants to join and I'm glad you found us. One thing you may come to learn quickly is that Maureen claims to ramble when all we get is her wise comforting words. We are all so different in our grief but I'd like to let you know at 2 yrs I was a mess. I too found it even harder and felt like I was starting all over again. I wasn't, it just felt like that at the time. Baby steps, sometimes you don't even notice them right away. Be gentle with yourself and do what you can. Sometimes it felt like 2 steps forward 1 step back and other times it felt like 10 steps back and over time that too changed. Come back, read, post if you want. We're all so different with a common journey that I felt like I didn't feel so alone in what I was going through which allowed me to not feel so crazy. How crazy was that statement? Gentle hugs to you.

I'm going in Oct with my sister and 11 other local people for 10 day tour. Can't wait! I've never been over the pond!! So glad you had a great time Lmsmdm!!

On Tuesday it will be 4 yr sadiversary. I have not dated, don't even know if I will or want to. I am now 3 yrs older than DH was and it is so weird to me, he will always be 53. That first one freaked me out. Like I've said before this widowhood is a head trip that only we get it. To others I have found they say big deal that's why I rarely talk about my grief or thoughts of all of this except y'all. You get me

kjs1989, I too am very surprised at their response. I have 5 siblings and I couldn't imagine them replying that way but then again they also treated me like I lost my brain when I lost my DH. I haven't met anyone but if I did they would not have any say in what I decide to do. God help them if they thought they could just chime in on my life decisions without me asking for their opinion. I have since straightened them out that if I want their opinion I'll ask for it. They were somewhat taken back but too dammed bad.

I'm with Monique too Jen, I'll be here listening as well. Keep posting and hang on girl. One day at a time. Hugs to you

Just love your 3 good things JG! I can relate to your #3, I'm listening to Chris Deburgh Spanish Train cranked full out. I haven't done this in more than 5 yrs and it's kind of making me feel all over the place. If that makes any sense. Your #1... haha I can never pull start the equipment at the start of the season, nope never could so I wait til I can find some muscle to do it. My muscle man died on me. Now on to my 3 good things (I think I've only posted here once) 1. My cousin came yesterday and spent the night. We had a great time together. 2. She is going to have her BF help me finish stuff up here to sell. I really need to go. 3. I'm listening to Chris DeBurgh full tilt.

TS the room kind of sounds great, off the wall sort of atmosphere, I think we may all fit in just fine if you get my drift? "Come one, come all", you could be sorry you said that LOL

Wow Trying that is a head trip isn't it? This whole widow thing is a head trip. How could you not find yourself thinking about your anniversary. Hugs and enjoy the rest of your alone time with fiance!

Me too!! Thanks TS and adp! When can we all arrive?

Atta girl SB, stay classy and live your life. No eggshells are just messy. Time for you 2 and she just needs to get over it. As DH used to say " suck it up buttercup". Not to me of course. Lol

Hugs to you and thank you for your post!

Oh Hachi your post resonated with me so much. Thank you!! Especially this part "Just wanted to wish all of you easy memories. I feel my heart breaking, but I know it will mend itself again, it always does. God, what a mess of scar tissue it must be." Yes, on this long weekend in "our" house we always had such a wonderful start to our summer being here on the lake. It is breaking my heart that I must leave here but being here is so not good for me anymore. And then you said this "The next few weeks will bring to mind the rapid decline and reality that life ends. Sometimes on our own terms, and certainly in Craig's case, he was where he wanted to be at the end and I am thankful for that." My DH too left on his own terms right here in this home that he and I built together and he always said he would be taken out in a box in this house. He got his wish. Me too. In 10 days it will be his 4 yr sadiversary or more like my sadiversary. Whats so weird for me is that I don't feel him here but everywhere I look I have memories of him. Does that even make any sense?? Thank you for your rambling because I get it. Gentle hug to all my wids!!