imissdow

I'm beginning to wonder if that's what I am. I have friends I enjoy being with, I'm busy with my kids and I volunteer a bunch so I am very busy. In some ways I prefer it this way because it doesn't leave me much down time. Yet I wonder if I choose this so I will be totally unavailable. I was reading about emotionally unavailable men and it got me thinking. Maybe that's what I am a emotionally unavailable women. I met a lovey guy at my church almost a year ago. In the middle of February we got together for dinner, had a great time and have had dinner together a few time sense. I really enjoy his company and he enjoys mine. He's not looking to change his entire life and neither am I. His kids are grown with families of their own and my kids are still at home and will be for a long time yet as my youngest is 9. I'm usually the one asking if we can get together, not sure if that's because I have more to work around or if there is another reason. Yet he seeks out my company when our paths cross and when we do get together he is very attentive. He pays for dinner and when I went to pay the last time protested yet did agree in the end and just left the tip. Yet I still feel very guarded. We talk on the phone maybe once a week. He hasn't been to my house or me to his. He met my kids months ago , I have not met his. However I do know a couple of his grand kids. His younger DD sent me a friend request on facebook I have just ignored it. We don't get together all that often, I'm not sure whose choice that really is,mine or his or just the way it is. We are becoming good friends and neither of us have talked about even the most minor of a commitment. I have had several guys ask me for dinner/coffee in the last few weeks. I turned all of them down with not even a thought. I have know all of these guys for quite a while and probably would have had a good time with all of them. Yet I really have no desire to see them anymore then I already do. I gave up on the on-line dating. Decided it was to much work and i was tired of trying to meet people. I found most of the guys I met on there were way to needy. I really don't want 3 or more text messages a day. Neither do I want a phone call or e-mail everyday at the beginning. I tend to get bored rather quickly with those types of guys. It seems to me like they have nothing to occupy themselves with and are looking for me to entertain them. I have no desire to do that. I am and always have been rather independent and I really want a guy that is also. So I wonder, am I overly picky, unavailable or is there maybe another reason why I don't seem to find anyone I really want to connect to. My DH told me once that he felt bad for "the poor fool who tries to date you Because it will take you forever to learn to trust him. " He also said most guys would give up before that ever happened. He seemed to think I was worth the wait but that most guys would never get to that point.

There are lots of times I wished for no kids and I know my kids have also wished for different parents. I never planned on having kids and here I am with 3. According to my middle DD doing such a poor job of it that she "has" to make the Easter baskets and go with me to get the"right" candy and such. She also planned the menu and invited people over. I will however be require to do all the cooking. I allow her to think she is in charge, she knows this. Right now I would like a nap , a sappy movie and some quiet. However none of that will be even possible until spring break is over. Only 4 more days to go.

wow you guys are doing great. I joined a gym for the winter and then tried to do the same run I was doing on a treadmill outside. That was a mistake so after 2 weeks off to recover I'm trying to run outside again. So I did ropes, kettle bell squats and lunges , mountain climbers with bands, and some stuff with the medicine balls. Then a 3 mile run walk hoping I won't be to sore tomorrow. I did gain about 5lbs but I'm pretty sure its all muscle as my jeans still fit and 5 lbs of fat would make them rather tight.

My 2 older DD"s are now 18 and 16. I divorced their dad when they were 4&2. He has been aware yet uninvolved for most of the last 8 years. He occasionally sees them and calls to talk at them maybe once a month. They never spent overnights with him he only ever saw them for a few hours at a time even when he was involved. They have his phone number but for the most part don't want to be bothered with him. Yesterday they both told me they wish to change thieri last name. They would like to hyphenate thier bio-dads name with my DH's name. Apparently the older DD had said something to bio-dad years ago about doing this and he hit the roof. This time he might be willing to let them. He really can't stop the older one but he could make things difficult for the younger one. I asked them why they wanted to do this and both girls had the same answer. DH was more of a dad then Bio-dad and so we think we should have his name. I suspect that once they have done this they will slowly stop using bio-dads name and just introduce themselves using DH's name. They will need to do legal stuff using both. Although I am surprised I think it speaks volumes about who DH was and the influence he had and is still having on my girls. I was lucky to have him in my life for the short 6 years we were married.

It sounds to me like someone called the hotline. We have one in our state and all calls are required to be investigated. My Ex called it on me because I "made my kids do chores using chemicals" Ie they had to scrub the sink using soap and water. Schools are mandated reporters and if a kid has more then 5 absences that have to report it. It sounds like the person who filed the report doesn't understand loss an grief at all. Probably the social worker was trying to rattle you and see if you would behave badly. I would guess that after they talk to your son they will close your case assuming they have no more reports. Take a deep breath you can do this.

My DH and I had talked about going to Mexico and building a house that would then be given away to a needy family. He was a master carpenter and being able to give someone a home just sounded so cool to both of us. We never got to do that so in October of 2014 my oldest DD and I met up with a group of 10 other people from all over the USA and crossed the border to build a small house in 3 days. We had a great time. I'm now planning another trip in October and will take my middle DD and hopefully a bunch of friends. I plan on going back every year to build a house. My DH would have been so pleased to see me still doing what we did together.

Some great Ideas. I actually have several pairs of dark wash jeans and they are even fairly new. I went shopping today and came home with nothing. I guess I will need to order some slacks as no one carries any that are long enough for heels no matter how low they are. Thanks for telling me about LEL sugarbell ,I didn't know about them. I also want to look for some skorts I used to wear them all the time not sure why I quit. My friend owns his own business and does pig roasts on the weekends. So far this is working well for me because most of my DD's stuff is on the weekends so I don't need to pick and choose or try to decide if I'm comfortable inviting him yet. So we end up going out on a weeknight. Lets just say the pickings are slim as far as entertainment during the week. I suggested a BBQ place for next time so jeans are perfect and more of the type of place my girls and I would go. I really don't think I need to worry about projecting a image with this guy we having been chatting face to face for almost 10 months. He has seen most of my wardrobe already and it didn't seem to bother him at all.

My parents are 78 and 80. As are my DH's so yes I'm starting to get this. My in-laws want visits yet never invite me for anything or come to their stuff. Yet I'm suppose to stop over regularly. My parents do on occasion invite me to something or come up for something yet they are 45 mins away and also want regular visits with me driving to see them. I have 3 sibs who live out of state and a sister who is 2 hours away. Heaven forbid anything happen and I hear "what do you mean you haven't seen then in --Days/weeks?" Yet only 2 of the of the 4 visit at all. With a 9yo being the youngest I'm only seeing this getting worse.

I had date #2 last night and we started planning date #3 Went to a really nice Italian place spent 3 1/2 hours talking, laughing and eating dinner. Looked in my closet for a outfit and realized I have 1 pair of dress slacks and all my dresses are about 15 years old I think the last time I actually wore a dress was 6 years ago. I finally threw out the heels I used to have as they were cracked and ruined I think I actually wore them 5 times. So I ended up wearing the same slacks and shoes I wore the last date and found a different shirt to wear. I seriously need to go shopping but I'm not sure exactly what to buy. I know I don't want a ton of new clothes I will only wear once or twice So I'm thinking black slacks a couple of shirts and maybe a sweater. I have tons of jeans, tee's, tanks hoodies and a few sweaters. I have dated a few times in the past couple of years but with the exception of one guy no one has ever gotten past date 2. This guy picks nicer places then I usually frequent. I usually have 3 kids along and none of these places even have a kids menu. I really don't want dresses however I would like stuff that can be dressy or casual. I don't want leggings or yoga pants. So what do I buy?

When I married DH My girls were 7 & 9. He had no kids of his own at that point. Blending families takes awhile. We were finally getting the hang of it when he got sick. I think the most important thing we found was consistent rules ,expectations, consequences and rewards. I have a very strong willed DD who liked to push buttons. That didn't get handled really well. However when we put up a list of house rules and what the consequences for not following them would be the button pushing kind of took a back seat. As she would start and we would just look at the chart and say you did this and this is what happens if you would like to argue we can double it. Only took a few times and it got better. Your really need to be on the same page and have the same rules for all the kids. His and yours. If you can get mom on your side even better. My Ex caused a lot of problems by telling my girls they didn't need to listen to DH because he wasn't their dad.

I have been chatting with a wonderful older man for months now. We had dinner together about 3 weeks ago and spent 3 1/2 hours talking. We have spoken on the phone at least once a week since and I have seen him several other times at my church. We are still working on getting together again as we are both rather busy. His daughters are 5 and 10 years younger then me and to my knowledge have not been aware that we were friends. He is only 13 years older then me however he had his first DD young and I had my first just before I turned 29. So he has grand kids a couple years younger then my kids. Apparently one ofhis daughters just found out about me. I got a facebook friend request from her today. My profile is totally hidden and my profile picture is not of me or my kids so she still knows nothing about me. I now know a bunch about her because everything she posts is public. Haven't decided yet if I want to friend her. However I got a really good laugh. Wonder if her dad knows about all of this and what he will say about it.

pancreatic cancer. He had the wipple surgery and they told us he looked great. A couple rounds of chemo some radiation and they told us he was good to go and cancer free. He died of cancer a week after the doctor told me that. Made it 10 months from his surgery.

I did online dating for about 16 months. Met about 10 guys for coffee/dinner/whatever. I usually would e-mail them for at least a week. By that point I had a pretty good idea of if they were who they were claiming to be. I did meet my share of scammers and married guys. Most of these I figured out in that 1 week time. If a guy asked me to meet early on I would typically reply that I would be happy to meet them for coffee after I got to know them a little better say in a week or so. That way a guy knew what time frame I was looking at. I did have a couple of guys tell me that this was to long and I was wasting their time, most however were fine with this a we sent a few e-mails back and forth and then I would usually suggest meeting at a local coffee shop within a week or 2. A few gave me their number I don't think I ever gave them mine to begin with. If I felt like it after meeting we would exchange numbers. I think I only had 3 second dates and only 1 got a third. Most of the time I was really glad I had taken a little extra time at the beginning and not given out my phone number .