Max2507

Better to stay with your BIL or a short term, perhaps not ideal rental situation until you get yourself more acclimated to the area. I agree with RFOF, kids are pretty resilient. They do take cues from our emotions though so if you are projecting anxiety she could catch some. Also, some things freak me out and some things freak my kids out, often times not the same things so if you are anxious doesn't necessarily mean she is. If this move allows you to spend more time with her she will love that. She would be happy living in a camper trailer with you.

I think its important to let yourself have a bad day and do just what you did. A few weeks ago I spent the whole day watching stupid romantic comedies I started feeling a bit guilty around the third one but then thought hey I just need it and enjoyed "Bridemaids" (probably it was for the 3rd time) Sometimes you just need down time. Nothing sells a house like being super clean and decluttered. People look in ovens, refrigerators, and closets. Its too bad we all live so far apart. It would be nice to have a widow posse bus to show up for people that were moving or needed to get their house in shape to sell or needed help after surgery.

That sounds great, you never know, right? Its nice to have friends either way.

I went to a funeral today. It was for a man my husband knew for years through business and after my husband died he made a point to let me know I could call him for advice or help and when I did he was really great. It was the first funeral since my husbands and in a funeral home where my sister's service was 23 years ago. Needless to say I was unnerved. I am waiting to talk to his longtime partner and the lady in front of me is talking to her and says "oh what finally got him diabetes or heart disease?" I honestly wanted to punch her in the back of the head.

Congratulations!

There are a few antidepressants on walmart's $4 /mth, $10/3mth list, maybe one of those would work.

I take a conservative approach to any medications. I also kept an open mind to it and would take stock of how I was feeling/functioning. its a devastating loss, roller coaster of emotions, that was to be expected. But I was still functioning, able to do work, go to the grocery store, take care of things, enjoy some things. At about 18 months, around my birthday, facing on coming holidays, I felt myself kind of slipping away, less able to cope, hitting the snooze button 6 times, not showering enough, dreading everything, enjoying nothing, ongoing negative "i am just not going to make it" thoughts. I wasn't really feeling anything, not happy or sad just apathy. Not like I was going to die or wanted to, just couldn't face anything anymore, no motivation. It took me until January to make a doctor appointment and they started me on generic Lexapro, which was $7 for 30 day supply at walgreens. Within a few days I could feel a difference, my alarm went off and I was up and out of bed, taking care of myself better, getting so much more stuff done. Doubled my number of steps per day per my fitbit without any attempt to do so. Caught myself singing with the car radio. Feeling much more positive and handling issues that have come up more easily without crumbling into tears. Now almost 3 months on them, I can say no regrets, they have helped my immensely. I still feel profoundly sad, in what seems like a normal way. I feel like myself again. My husbands birthday was monday and it will be 2 years since his death in may so its been hard. I still cry but not as much and not about everything. I have realistic fears but I don't have constant nagging worrying about everything. So I would say that your feelings are going to be all over the place and drastic, that isn't a reason to go on antidepressants. Think about how are you functioning?

So sorry, that is horrible. Hopefully after that car ride the cat will be on its best behavior for them and they will keep him.

I paid for a tank rental like this for almost a year and a half. I bet the company would come get it and break the chain for you. I have to say it was relief to get rid of it and not get that bill anymore. If it is not a big lock a hammer can usually take it out.

I think in any relationship its important to tell the other involved what you need. No one is a mind reader. If you had said I am having a bad day can you check in with me later, would he have? I know sometimes its hard to say what you need because its hard to know what you need.

Yes, I had this too. So wonderful. Had a little cry after reading it because it sums it up. I am coming up on 2 years in May and his birthday later this month. Its still so hard. I can't imagine having an accident and injury and such on top it all, just thinking of you and sending hugs across the cyberspace.

So true. I have cried over tires too, being widowed makes even some of the most mundane things in life so hard.

Hello everyone again! Thanks to those who got another forum together so quickly. It really was a shock the way it went down with ywbb. Thanks for the shout out HvnBound! If I could I would so come help you with your house. Its hard going it alone. This is what I wrote 5 days after my husband died: Hello everyone. My husband died this past Saturday after what seemed like not such a bad accident in our motorhome. He seemed fine afterward but a few hours later died in surgery , had internal injury. He was the love of my life and I am just devastated. Thanks for all the posts especially in the advice I used some of it right away dealing with pushy business people and it helped a lot. I am fortunate to have a lot of support here but like many have posted its hard for people to really understand what you are going through. I am on a roller coaster ride between whole body sobbing and complete disbelief. Now I am about a month and a half from 2 years. So much has changed so much has stayed the same. The whole body sobbing has given way to occasional silent flowing tears and complete disbelief to yes this shit is real. I feel I am healing but have a long way to go. I have hope but at the same time don't know if I have the capacity to love like that again. He was such surprise of unconditional love, he was my person and I was his. He seems so far away now. I was an independent person when we got together and not until his death did I see how much I identified with being his wife, how every other thread in the fabric of my being was intertwined with him. Eventually I started feeling no longer his wife but his widow. Just recently I have started feeling like I am a solitary person. I had a few dreams of him over the months and waking up just devastated to realize he was in fact still dead. A dream I had last memorial day weekend wrecked me for 3 weeks. Recently I dreamed quite a steamy dream of him and I woke up thinking yes that was nice. No moment of forgetting he was gone, its like physically/subconsciously I knew he was dead so I didn't wake up crushed that it wasn't real. I just keep moving forward and doing the best I can.

I am practicing on my honda rebel 250, would love to one day.

You know they say "a change could do you good" If it will look good on your resume even if you work there a year or two it will give you that. Renting your house sounds like a great idea(if you can afford to have a rental company handle it for you saving even more hassle) and renting there gives you some options. Having cousins would be great for your daughter as well. I agree writing out the pros and cons are a good idea. Just seems like 2+ hours of commuting and all the rushing is part of your life you just can't get back. I hope you won't get offended and I don't know you or your late husband or your beliefs about the afterlife, but I can not believe that he wouldn't want you any more or is pushing you away, if he were here I believe he would be cheering you on. I am nearing two years out and I feel like my dh is so far away from me, I understand that and miss him deeply every day. Be gentle with yourself and don't be afraid to change your mind.

I am surprised that providing your number is not the one preferred. Personally that would be the one I would find more favorable because 1. it shows you are a real person not a scammer, 2. you want to meet not endlessly chat and email, and 3. I could find out a lot about you by doing a phone number search and feel safer about meeting. Meeting for coffee is a great first meet--day light hours, having a limited time frame.