linda5

I'm "visiting" Phoenix next week! My daughter, son-in-law, and baby just moved there. I'll be going out there a lot, so I'll try to stay connected to know if there are any scheduled get togethers when I'm there. BTW, what is the East Valley? They currently live in the Chandler, Gilbert area. But he wants to move closer to ASU next year.

That touched my heart! I'm sure your daughter will have just an amazing of a time that you and Cindy had.

I just read this entire thread and I'm starting to want a companion. Before I read this, I've been telling people I only want a widowed man, somebody who loved his wife and would still be with her if she didn't die, BUT after reading the stories, perhaps I'm being too closed minded! I have my 2 year sadiversary next week, so I think after that I'll dip my feet in. Now one more question, do we say we are widowed on the dating sites? (As I've heard that generally means a woman got a life insurance payout and all kinds of people come after you. Some people have told me you should state that you are divorced.)

My husband and I were high school sweethearts. He was a Senior and I was a Sophomore. We had Drama Class together. He took one look at me and told his buddy that he was going to marry me some day. We immediately knew we belong together. I truly think we were soulmates. We started dating when I was 16 and never broke up. My husband, Will, died suddenly on Palm Sunday of a pulmonary embolism. He was fine one minute, gone the next. Two of our three daughters were home with us. Our youngest was a Junior at Mizzou and home for Spring Break. She and her sister were putting a 1,000 piece puzzle together in our family room while I had my feet in his lap and he was reclined on the sofa. We were watching Breaking Bad on DVD (I can never watch that series again), when he made a funny noise. We all jumped up and I tried to do CPR on him, but forgot to hold his nose and the air came back out. My youngest was a Nursing Student and pushed me out of the way and said, "Mom, let me handle this!" I was so very proud of her. She, at 20, was barking out orders for me and her sister. My other daughter got 911 on the phone and they told us to do CPR on the floor. It took all 3 of us to pull him by his feet and watch his head and arms drop to the floor. When paramedics arrived, they got all the information from my youngest. My middle daughter tried to run and hug me then, but I pushed her away and told her that Dad is on the ceiling, watching this! We need to talk to him now and tell him how much we need him and not to leave us. I told her we can't cry now. We've got to help fight for his life. We need to tell God now how much we need him. To tell Will not to leave us. I honestly couldn't have prayed any harder, better, more sincere. I kept my tears bottled up because I was fighting a spiritual fight for him. I felt as if I was Mother Theresa, I couldn't have prayed any better. I was honestly shocked that I lost the fight! I truly thought God would hear our screams of despair and let him live. My oldest daughter and her husband arrived while the paramedics were here and they revived my husband 3 times while in the ambulance. At my husband's celebration luncheon, my mother fainted and the paramedics were called (my mom was fine). As it turns out it was the same ones that came to my house. They told me that they were just talking about my me and my girls and were discussing how they were going to contact me. They wanted me to know that they revived him in the ambulance and that he did fight for me. They also asked me if I noticed their tears when they were leaving my house. They told me they each have had over 15 years experience and dealing with us was the first time they cried at an event. They said they have never witnessed such a great love and that me and my daughter encouraging, begging, pleading with Will and God to give him back really touched them. They said he did fight for me, for us, he just lost.

I had one daughter get married 15 months after my husband died. I was a total wreck. I tried so hard not to cry and ruin her wedding, and for the most part I succeeded. But I do remember people whispering to me while walking down the aisle, "You've got this, Linda! You can do it!" This September I have another daughter getting married. I'm better equipped to walk down the aisle without dissolving into tears now.

I wish I had some great advice or magic wand and could take these troubles away from you. It absolutely sucks! Just now you and your family will be in my prayers.

Bailey, your story was a true love story. I could feel the emotions! Now I think I'm going to go find my daughters' Ken dolls (yes, I kept all that stuff for future grandchildren) and smack them around! There, I think that might even help me to feel better! Wishing you peace.

Just Jen, your post is timely for me. I also can't read a book anymore, and I used to immerse myself in fiction! I'm fastly approaching the 2 year mark, March 24th, and my oldest daughter, her husband, and most importantly, my only grandbaby just moved to Phoenix! I now only have one daughter in Missouri! I've been yelling at my dear husband more lately for leaving me to figure out life alone! I keep telling him that he should have been able to do something to make a job offer appear here for our son-in-law. Unfortunately, they moved (I guess he has no power to help us), so now I feel as if I'm back to square one with the grieving shit. Wishing you some sunshine and calm seas!

I'm so glad you posted these again. They still make me laugh. It's amazing that you hit the nail on the head with so many of them, as you described me perfectly!

I love the name you picked "Bent, Not Broken." You seem to have amazing strength & faith. I wish and will pray that you and your precious baby have lots of laughter, joy, love, and peace in your lives.

I've often wondered if my husband was given a chance to live, but with some brain damage or physical impairments, would he have taken it? He died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism. The paramedics revived him 3 times in the ambulance. I wonder if he died to make my life (and our daughters) lives easier. I would have lived in a shoe box if I could just have him back.

I'm so thankful for everybody that had a hand in setting up this new site. I don't post a ton, but I read it all the time, and it really helps me. The only reason I didn't need a therapist is because I had YWBB. Now, I'm so very thankful for WIDDA!

Thanks all! Lisapop & Bailey, with the instructions you did give me, I was able to figure it out from there!

Sorry ... thought I could figure it out. Apparently, I can't.

You are allowed to cry. Cry as much as you want ... kick, scream, and have that temper tantrum. I did it when I was alone, and it honestly felt good! I felt so much better after I allowed myself to cry and throw a fit. I was sick of people telling me how strong, brave, etc. I was.

It will be 2 years on the 24th of this month that I've been without my husband for 2 long years. I've had so many changes in my life since my husband died. Our youngest got married to a great young man that went to West Point and now they live in Ft. Lee, Virginia. My oldest and my only grandbaby just moved to Phoenix, where her husband got a teaching job at ASU. Our middle daughter is still in town with me, but she moved out about 6 months ago with her fiance and they are getting married this September. I went from a happy family of 5 to just one now.