linda5

Last Sunday I went to the cemetery to visit and clean my husband's grave. I took the windex, a roll of paper towels, a bag and my dog. The cemetery clearly states no dogs allowed, but I broke that rule and thought what are they going to do to me. So, off we go to the cemetery. I get there and start talking to my husband and wiping down the tombstone. The leash is clearly in my way, so I drop it. I'm cleaning all the letters, talking and crying to my husband, then after about 4 minutes I realize I haven't seen my dog. I jump up, and run to the graves behind me because I would have saw my dog go in front of me. I scream as loud as I can, "JACK, WHERE ARE YOU? JACK!!!" I run to the next row of graves, "JACK!!!!!!!" There are 3 sets of people in the distance who can see me and hear my screaming. I found my dog about 5 rows down, lying in the shade of a large tombstone. I look up to where I saw people and they are all gone. I think they all thought, "oh, that poor woman, calling for her loved one! Shit, we better get out of here, she's crazy!" I think I gave my husband a good laugh!

So very sorry. Praying for Pru!

My daughter is getting married in less than a month and I'm starting to feel my loss as if it were yesterday. I'm almost at 2 1/2 years of losing my beloved husband. Another one of my daughters got married last year, and it was everything I could do to just survive the day. I feel bad about it because I didn't enjoy her wedding, it was something I had to get through. This wedding I was thinking was going to be a lot easier on me ... one more year of living through being without him in my life, but as the day gets closer, I feel more panic setting in. This is the last wedding I have to pull off. All three of my daughters will be married now. This daughter belong to her Daddy. She was a Daddy's girl through and through. I know if she cries, I'll lose it too. I want to be strong for her. Any good ideas of pep talks or mantras I can keep repeating to myself that day so I stay together?

I'm sick of the rules. It's funny that the people that know the rules and are giving advice to me, are the people that still have their spouse.

Does the password expire? I just tried to log in and see your pics and it said the password was incorrect.

Today, I just finished reading a memoire about just that! The book is called "Saturday Night Widows, by Becky Aikman. She's tired of being sad, lonely, odd man out, and thus looks for other widows that want to move forward and not dwell on what happened to them. It has given me plenty of food for thought. Wishing you happiness.

Good for you! Your professionalism is intact!

Joined a gym with a girlfriend. Trying to lose 5 to 7 pounds before my daughter's wedding on Sept. 5th! (I used to be a "6" but now I'm an "8.") I really have respect for people that lose weight because I didn't know how hard it actually is!

I enjoyed your memory!

So happy for you! I'm always delighted to hear of one of us finding love and happiness again. I'm hoping someday it will be my turn.

So glad your "adult getaway" went well. You deserve happiness! The desert is awesome and the Grand Canyon can't be beat. Get them in on your next visit. Good luck getting that cat smell out of your bag!

So happy for the two of you! Wishing you both many years of happiness!

That really was an awful day. You've got my prayers.

Maureen, I've enjoyed reading your travel encounters. I'm glad you've got your niece with you. I'm sure it's going to be hard to leave some of your Polarbear in California. I'll be thinking and praying for you ... that you and your niece stay safe, have fun, and that July 23rd is another step forward in your healing.

Just Jen, a BIG thumbs up and a mountainous hug to you! It's hard, but we're going to make it!!

SVS, I echo everyone's comments. Your compassion for others is truly amazing. Give yourself some of that compassion you give to us. I think we'll always have "off" days ... days when the sadness and the devastation comes back. But hopefully, they will be few and far between. I'm sending you a large, arms wide open hug!

Congratulations Mel! I'm happy for you. Wishing you and your new Mike many years of blissful happiness.

When I'm missing my husband badly, I go into his underwear drawer and wear his! Actually his Tommy Hilfinger cotton boy short type are really nice. I love them! They don't ride up your butt and are very comfortable. I just don't know what to do with that opening in the front though.

Well shit! I wish I could say something to better help you cope. Just take it one day at a time. Medical advances are being made all the time. Hopefully, your sons cases will respond better to treatment in the upcoming months. Sure wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. Just know I'm praying for you and your boys.

That does seem to bother me too. It's not like there was a choice! For some odd reason, my heart just kept beating.

Lost, it broke my heart hearing your little boy wanted some time with his Daddy. Being able to comfort your child and try to turn those negative feelings into positive feelings for your child must be heart wrenching for you. When I saw that you were 7 years out, it made me realize that these feelings I have at 2 years out will always be with me. I guess we just learn to mask our feelings more in front of others. I'm assuming the book tour is for you? If so, congratulations!

I agree with marjoe. I think somebody wanted you to make up with your Mom.

Another one in the "sudden death" camp. It certainly does suck. The day before DH died, I told the universe how blessed I was. A loving husband, 3 great girls, and then the very next day he dies. I'm wondering if I got punished for saying it outloud. I mean, did the devil hear me, so he zapped me? Or, was I meant to realize how good I had it? I sure do miss that man. Jess, I also would have seized every moment. Hugs to you.

It certainly does suck! I'm hoping that there were some redeeming qualities of today that helped make your birthday more tolerable. Happy Birthday today.

I believe I would tell my children. I think when they see you not feeling well, they will start to assume the worst. I concur with SVS. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers that it shrinks quickly and NEVER returns. Hugs to you!