donswife

a widow house sounds brilliant , I'll bring my sleeping bag I got a 55 on the quiz complicated grief ....No shit , Sherlock

I found the old board about 4 months after my Don died. I was desperate to find a bit of sanity in this new awful reality . It was a place that made me feel sane and truly helped me with my pain and sadness I t helped me more then I could ever put in words I have also met and made true friends on this board Again sorry you all have to be here but I am glad this forum is here

"Just wanted to wish all of you easy memories. I feel my heart breaking, but I know it will mend itself again, it always does. God, what a mess of scar tissue it must be". So well said and I am sorry this has brought up the heartbreak that always seems to be lurking take care

please keep reaching out to us Take care

listening ..

I find cooking dinner to be very hard. I used to love it and looked forward to spending a lot of time cooking , getting all the food (weekends ) It is odd how cooking for two and now cooking for one ,can change so much in terms of emotion and energy From the heartbreak of going to the grocery store to just at this point caring what you are cooking I know its just dinner but it is a reminder of how our lives have changed , and it sucks !

Sounds like you are having a great trip and what a lovely way to remember your Big guy and spread his ashes Keep us updated and sending hugs from here

These times are so tough and raw the what if's can drive a person crazy but hard to stop your brain and heart from asking them My husband also died from a heat attack and I find myself doing the same It was wonderful to read about Josh and and your story of your lives together Take care of yourself today and sending hugs your way

Hello from near Worcester , Mass. Over a foot of snow and still snowing but all the shoveling and clean-up is done for now Switched from Cocoa earlier to Guinness bought the Guinness for corned beef slow cooker recipe , and didn't want the rest to go to waste Hope you all stay warm and safe

Congratulations ! Very inspiring

I am working on this also. I have lots of tools and tool boxes. Every time I think of doing something with them it gets overwhelming Not sure even where to bring/donate them just hate the idea of them just sitting there

Hello to you ! Me : Also sitting on couch , dog by my side for cuddles. Not quite in my pj's but looking forward to that. Waiting for New girl to watch on TV : yup crazy night for me My way of avoiding starting my Taxes as the pile is sitting on the kitchen table mocking me

Great news about the biopsy results but still a rough time waiting for the results Oh yes I get the anger issues , You should hear the swearing in my car over the dumbest things that is when I check myself and say ..yup someone needs to work on her anger issue I am trying to figure out an outlet for it, before it goes inward take care

I am so sorry this happened I will also do the same and think of your wife while walking in the woods today surrounded by snow covered trees !

interesting topic , it was interesting to read ..INFJ here :)Advocate

Hugs to you today, Maureen thank you for sharing that memory what a gift to have found that hand written Take care

Before ... I never had to worry about a dead battery ,My don would just open the hood and it was fixed I never had to worry about being home in time to let the dog out I never had to worry about "what is that noise "(at midnight ) I never had to worry about locking up the house for the night I never had to worry if the candles were out I truly never had to worry about anything and just for a brief second I wish I had that back I will fix the battery , I will be home in time to let my dog out I will always be worried about that "noise' in the night But I wish I didn't have to and I am sure he wishes the same

Beautiful post Maureen Hugs to you take care

what made it a disaster ? Was it you felt you were not ready or just the whole thing felt awkward I am so proud of you for trying I hope you know it gives me strength knowing you took the first step so I hope that helps with you seeing this as less of a "disaster" I am hiding in the weeds reading how people even start this process and you did that

I remember this and will have days like this still Just trying to concentrate on anything seems impossible I had to write notes to myself just to remind me what I needed to do the emotional roller coaster is exhausting Wish I had some great words of wisdom to share but wanted you to know you are not alone

Maureen you are so on target with this post My mini rant is a bulb went out in a flood light outside shouldn't be a big deal but it involves a ladder so just thinking of this just brought the tears flowing like you said just tired of doing this alone

I feel like I am constantly tired also well tired means missing a day or two of sleep what we are feeling is exhaustion plain and simple I was shopping with my niece in what can only be explained as "harsh" lighting then I saw my reflection and I look like I have aged 10 years Wish I knew a way to actually feel rested again

Svs- I am so sorry about your Father I get this feeling you are having My Mom ,after a year of failing health, passed away in April We are a very close family and we took turns taking care of her It was a year after My Don died so I was in a fog but did get to have some really good times with her Like you I felt very calm after she died , my family kept waiting for my meltdown but this was different , She got to have a long , great life I felt she got to decide lots of things to make the end of her life more peaceful (however peaceful that is ) Unlike don who had so much of his life still left to live Like you said we are living in a constant state of grief so maybe our hearts are giving us a little bit of a break on this one take care

borntorun- I am so sorry about your husband My Husband also died suddenly and it just doesn't seem real I'm sure that is true no matter how it happens Just wanted you to know we are here for you try and take care of yourself

yes doesn't seem possible that they are really gone Sending you hugs on this tough day tale care