mmg19

Too Soon expresses my thoughts exactly. Too many variables and family dynamics and relationships for a cut and dry right answer. I never paid rent but from an early age I saved from all money gifts and job money for future college costs. When I lived at home during the summers I always worked and contributed to the grocery costs as well as helping with all household chores.

Feeling sadness for any of you who no longer having a living father and the children who have lost their father. My boys came up with this plan a few days ago and it has made me so proud of them. Both sets of grandparents are living and close to them. The boys have invited them to Sunday brunch and activities tomorrow. The meal is being planned and prepared by the boys with "a little" assistance from me. Tomorrow we will celebrate what was, what is, and what will be. Grateful to the father who loved these boys and grateful to the grandparents who continue to love and support us.

Your post has brought about a deja vu moment for me. I think you are amazing and have it together. Wishing you many new memories and happiness as you move on with the next "story".

Great post Trying. You really are the hostess with the most est. What a nice day.

Sending hugs your way Maureen.

April, wish I could contribute but for some reason I never remember my dreams. Sometimes I am aware of dreaming when I first wake up but never clarity afterwards.

Love happy memories. Thanks for sharing.

1. Time to read a book. 2. No scheduled activities for a few days. 3. Gratitude journal is getting daily entries.

So Sorry.

Anyone else have luck with consignment shops. Boys outgrown summer clothes all sold and made enough for them to buy their summer needs. Of course, in summer they get by with shorts, t-shirts, and swimming trunks so we splurged and bought new underwear. Happy campers at our house.

I'm so sorry. No advice, no comments other than please be kind to yourself. Breaking up is hard to do whatever the circumstances. Vent away as you mend your heart.

The values we wanted instilled in our children have not changed. Yet I am different. Always was a disciplinarian and still am. BUT - and it is a big one. I have boys starting the teen years and I can not give their father's answers to their questions. As hard as I try, I feel so inadequate. I liked shared parenting. DH and I complimented each other in the way we handled decisions and choices involving the kids. We were a team and no matter how many mentors or male role models in their lives their is a void that hurts. The boys are happy and doing well academically and socially. It's so different in moving from 50% to 100% on my shoulders. So many times I let things slide and don't always have the balance that is needed. It's a process and I'm still evolving.

Just a brief hello and wanting you to know you have amazing qualities.(Honesty, humility, and kindness always emerge from your posts.) Wishing you a peaceful day.

Safe travels. Happiness is....being a benefactor of the wisdom of Jess.

Have a wonderful week-end with your kids. No suffocation and the light bulb lit up. Enough is enough. Hugs.

I'm so sorry that you need to go through this. As all said and I repeat NO CONTACT. Prolonging the inevitable and causing emotional turmoil is what you do not need to process and move forward. Resist the urge to text a friendly caring comment or to respond to one he may send. Sounds simple but I have found this is so not in your best interest. From what you have said your heart is in more in jeopardy than his. I'm sure he is hurting but your feelings and expectations have taken a major hit. Protect your heart. Don't settle for crumbs when your future is at stake. Sending you hugs and prayers for good days ahead.

From what you have written previously and this post, you sound like a thinking woman. You will do what is right for you. I can only comment on how I would be in this situation. After 1.5 years, compatible, enjoy doing things together, I would future think too. Honesty, good guy .....doesn't mean he is the right guy and I would protect my heart. Investing your emotions and love into a relationship with a man who obviously does not want commitment for whatever reasons is more than I would be willing to do.

Thanks for sharing the good and the bad. You have really been a great role model for your daughter and are amazing. After 3 years I like myself better when it comes to caring and valuing friends and family. Related to the tendency to micro-manage but I too have to keep a schedule and times down to the minute.

SVS - Wow!! What a loving, caring, mature son. Yes, they push our buttons but one remark like that is worth it. I agree with him. Don't change. The world needs more caring people and empathy seems to be in short supply in today's world. Hugs to you and your son.

Agree with others. Less said the better. Your conversation with him about empathy and responses was excellent. I would let it go.

My abilities and money were limited but "you tube" became my site of choice and I took on maintenance projects like a mad woman. Once I accepted the reality that it was up to me alone to take care of the house I made a list of all the repairs and maintenance that had to be done and between the help of Home Depot and Lowe's I felt good about my new skills. Painted every room and closet, fixed a leaking commode, refinished scratched and marred bedroom furniture, rehung several doors, and installed new backsplash in kitchen. I knew I had to sell the house and could not afford major renovations and it paid off when the house sold. In retrospect, I feel my DH was with me each step of the way. This helped the grieving for me because my mind and body were exhausted at the end of each day. Building confidence that you can make it on your own seems to be common among widow(ers).

I miss this thread. Writing down goals and revisiting them weekly helps me stay focused. Thus, bumping up this thread. This week's goals: 1. Get now teenage boys to sort all the outgrown clothes from last summer and make list of what is needed. 2. Snail mail all birthday, graduation, and get well cards. 3. See a sunrise and sunset at the beach this summer. Not exactly a weekly goal but a much needed mental health goal.

Thinking of you at this painful time. So sorry about your loss. I'm sure the family appreciates your presence. Sending you a hug and prayers for continuing strength in dealing with the tax situation.

Wishing you much happiness in your new home. It is bittersweet. One year ago I sold our home and it was the right thing to do financially and realistically. My very perceptive Mom with no discussion came over our last night there and asked the boys to go for a treat with her. That one hour alone allowed me to process and prepare myself mentally and emotionally to say my goodbyes and shed my tears. The memories will go with you. Change is the one constant we all deal with. My move has been a positive change and I hope the same for you. I love what your adult children gave you. Life goes on and it is good.

Thank you Trying for being so encompassing in your post. This board has such diverse family dynamics. Mother's Day was special to DH and I and yesterday was one of gratitude that I could be with my Mother and my MIL. Both of them have stood with my kids and I and I'm eternally thankful.