mmg19

Yes, abl, it is messy and not something that will ever be discussed publicly. NG was and is an amazing father and their close relationship speaks volumes in validating his parental role. I'm just trying to be the calm one and be his rock as he processes the anger he is feeling toward this sleazeball of a man. Thanks for responding.

NG and I are planning to marry in July. We are both widowed and have a loving compatible relationship. He has two grown children and both are married. His daughter is 26, college educated, beautiful, and a source of pride and joy in his life. I met the daughter and her husband at Christmas and immediately connected with her. This past week NG flew to see her after a troublesome phone call. She came home with him and will be obtaining a divorce shortly. Apparently her husband, 20 years older and divorced for 19 years, was more interested in having a young wife to train and have a full time prostitute than a wife, children, or an equal partner in marriage. Details are unnecessary and not pleasant. This confident and loving man is devastated and angry that he scoffed at his wife's fears that she felt a dark side to this man when she first met him and did not want her daughter to marry him. After all he is financially successful and had no obvious baggage except for being extremely private. Not saying being private is a red flag unless you are hiding something unsavory. My children are young and I guess I thought that was the only issue we were needing to address. NG and I are in love and totally committed to working through this and helping his daughter heal and recover her self esteem to re-build her life. Re-coupling is more involved and complicated than falling in love and living happily ever after. Just looking at life more realistically. NG feels he let his daughter down by not listening to her mother and being more interested in allowing the marriage to take place before his wife died. She died 3 months after the wedding.

Sorry SB for the emotions you are feeling. Being with grandparents and feeling his comfort zone and security is helping him handle this transition. Remember it is temporary and it is understandable how hard this is for you. On the bright side, it is you calling and adjusting and not him saying he hated it and is homesick. How wonderful your folks are able and willing to do this and work with you on this transition. Go ahead and call 10 times a day, check out every thing that gives you peace of mind and keep telling yourself your gut was right and hang in there. ((Hugs)) I bet he will love and appreciate the quality time with you on week-ends and the days you are down there. Some parents have lots of quantity time and no quality time. You are a good Momma.

1. Nice dinner with NG last night 2. I really like my job. 3. Tax papers in order and ready to file.

So sorry, Mrs. Dan. ((Hugs))

1. The snowstorm did not knock out our power and parents, in-laws,and those I love are safe. 2. Lots of cooking and baking, game playing, and new card games were deemed a success. 3. A day off to get ready to go back to school.

You are a good Mom. Every word you said showed your pain and how much you cared. I think Portside had some good advice.

So sorry, Mel. Sending lots of Hugs.

Thank you for kind words. I truly hope my home is the safety net this child needs right now. He is staying with us until the father's parents come to get him this week-end. This is hard but at the same time I'm feeling an unexpected source of strength and understanding of this journey of life.

Tragic week-end. My 12 year old got a phone call Sat. evening from friend. His Mom was killed in car accident and police were at his house. He had no where to go, no grandparents, father working away and wanted to come here. Police contacted father and he agreed for him to come to our house until he could get there. Father got here today and it just gets worse. Phone showed sexting messages to boyfriend minutes before accident. My thoughts are running rampant and I've got children asking questions I am unable to answer or maybe don't want to answer. Not really a friend of the Mom but I have met her through the boys. There is a reason texting is illegal while driving. Hugging my children closer tonight and praying for this young boy and father. My only consolation tonight is my son's friend said he wanted to stay here because this is a safe house. I've had to dig deep to hold it together today.

1. Eight hours of sleep last night. 2. Still eating healthy foods since Jan. 1. 3. Got the after school tutoring position.

1. Started a gratitude journal for 2016 and haven't missed a day writing. 2. Checking out houses in anticipation of buying this summer. 3. Great surprise visit with friends this week-end.

If your kids are not yet teenagers or not yet to the place of driving, dating, etc. this might be something you would be interested in trying. It is working for me. My kids are now 12 and 14. Faced not only with losing DH and having children totally dependent on me, I was faced with CC debt, a lifestyle that was going to change drastically, and an immediate need to find a full time job, benefits, and sell our home. 3 years later, I am debt free, house sold, renting, working in a job I love though not in the fast lane financially. Started by introducing them to a budget. Living within our means. Expenses can't be greater than income. Food, clothing, and shelter were necessities. Everything else a want. The boys were my biggest support. The crash course in money 101 was the best thing for them. Track every expenditure. The first month was shocking to each of us. When they needed a cell phone and we checked the possibilities, they could readily see the difference between a smartphone (which many friends had) and a trac phone that gave them access to getting in touch with me and didn't have a monthly charge.. When the house sold and I had a nice chunk of equity, they learned about mortgages and interest rates for a new mortgage based on FICO scores. Renting rather than buying immediately became a no brainer to them. This summer I will buy and qualify for a lower interest rate and downsizing is acceptable without their feeling deprived. Regardless of age or the amount of money you have, all kids need to understand the in's and out's of a budget. They need saving goals. The 14 year old is putting 100% of gift money and any earnings from small jobs in savings for a car when he is 16. So far I think he has enough for 2 tires and a steering wheel but he has a goal. 1.Teach them how to budget. 2.Teach them to track their spending and be accountable. 3.Save a portion of an;y gift, earnings, etc. 4.Discretionary spending is important but they need to learn good choices and consequences. 5.Giving is important (I used the parable of the widow's mite) Generosity is based on % not on dollor amount. 6.Listen, discuss, and tweak when necessary. We each are different in where we are in parenting and the amount of money, lifestyle, and ages of our children. One size doesn't fit all. This has worked for me and probably because of the ages and circumstances of DH's death.(illness, medical bills, and limited life insurance)

1. Great first Monday of 2016. Happy to be back in classroom. 2. Dinner was fast, easy, and delicious tonight 3. New haircut is a keeper. Students thought I looked younger.

I'm not sure these are resolutions but they are renewals of what worked in 2015 and dropping what did not work. 1. Be more intentionally mindful. 2. Practice gratitude in words and actions. 3. Read a good book once a month. Re-read a classic. 4. Learn to knit or quilt. 5. Healthy clean eating.

Congrats on your coping with the stress and staying the course in your recovery. You do have a lot going on and it will work out "One Day at a Time". ((Hugs)). I can relate to starting new job, selling house, moving, etc. since I was faced with this last year. You seem to be in a good place with finances and getting home repairs. Even with that elbow grease is massive but can also be therapeutic. Don't forget to breathe, drink water, and look ahead to the finish line. We need you on this site and as for me I will be praying for less stress the next 6 months. My hat is off to you.

1. I managed to stay awake until 12 last night. 2. Great time at church NYE bash. Kids and I had fun. 3. Enjoyed meeting 2 new families last night and that's a good thing.

Yes Virgo, kids do make dating interesting. My kids and I are going to a buffet dinner at our church this evening. There is a gym and volleyball, basketball, and other sports have teams and prizes set up for the kids. Adults can participate but there is a room for movies, board games, and adult activities. At midnight we eat again (if I can stay awake) and then its home. NG offered and I think really wanted to come but we decided on accepting the New Year's Day invite for Bowl Game Party. So tonight is kid friendly and tomorrow will be adult friendly. NG's son and wife are returning home tomorrow and I know he will enjoy their last evening together. Happy New Year and let the New Year begin.

My kids are younger too so no sleepovers here or his home. We had one overnight out of town for an event but kids stayed with grandparents. I have no suggestions or advice but just wanted to let you know I understand how parenting and new relationships have no user manual and are hard to navigate.

1. Boys finished their Christmas thank you notes with very little prompting this year. In the mail. 2. Minimalism is reaping benefits with amount of house cleaning. Closets hold everything and clutter is gone. 3. New Year's Eve buffet and family sports activities planned at church. Happy kids - Happy Momma.

Thank you for sharing your honest feelings and reflections. You are the best father and one of the reasons I always read your posts is to read the signature line at the bottom. I love it. Wishing you a Happy New Year and may 2016 exceed your expectations. Blessings to you and your family of 3.

New Year's Goal in Effect starting today. Water is the drink of choice. Coffee in a.m. and no diet drinks or sodas in the house.

1. Shopping and lunch day with Mom, her sister, and friend. 2. Boys day for Dad, uncle, and my boys. 3. Slept soundly for 8 hrs. last night. Feeling great today.

1. Talked on phone with aunts who were unable to be here for Christmas. 2. NG called to wish me Merry Christmas as he is visiting daughter 500 miles away. 3. Tree is down, ornaments boxed, and house back in order.

Repeating to myself 3 times a day. "Portion Control". Exercise can help me tone but portion control is the only thing that works for me to control weight.