mmg19

Thank you for sharing. I have found that to re-purpose my life makes sense to me after 3 years. At first I thought I would reinvent, then it was change my normal, and now I realize for me I am the same person in my core but I've just had to re-purpose my direction.

I'm so sorry. You are doing the best you can and you and daughter hold tight to each other. Sending prayers, strength, and hugs to you.

SB..Meltdowns can be therapeutic. I sure relate to this one. It has been 11 months since my house sold and I made my last walk through. Packing the wedding china and flatware was my moment of meltdown. You have thought this through and your forward looking attitude is very positive. The financial freedom and being debt free were my motivations and I have no regrets. We take memories with us and put them in safe places in our heart. Enjoy your new home and having all your kids together again. I loved your final comment " Today it is moving forward".

Great news!!! I'm happy for you and your kids.

Sorry, Comic relief only. Thinking Sanford & Son from the 70"s sitcom in your description of his abode.

A most awesome post. You and your son are making me smile. May the success roll on.

I don't have helpful advice but from all your posts I can comment on what I read and see. You are one of the most competent, intelligent, and thinking women and always consider your daughter in your decisions. Changes are frustrating and complicated. Calculated risks are thought out and not gut reactions. I am confident you will make the best decision and will be successful in a career change you choose. Wishing you the best in sorting through the obstacles to the best decision.

(((SVS))) Thinking about you and hoping for good things from counseling. The responses from others are good and I can only add "go with your main issue". I wouldn't prepare other than to have your main concern brought up early. Many times one thing leads to another and this may help your anxiety. Talk therapy is my preferred approach to help for myself. If I'm totally honest it helps me see different viewpoints. The one time I decided to project what I wanted my image to be and what I wanted the outcome to be, it was futile. We all have times when just an unbiased listener can lead us to the "Aha phenomenon". It's worth a try.

1. Clean out closets. 2. Bag and donate all outgrown winter clothes. 3. Take books to library to donate. Next 2 weeks are spring cleaning and I'm doing 1 room each evening after school.

All the obvious areas are good. We have worked through the merging of two families, two households, financial planning and all the logistics involved. The Bonus is Friends. My friends like K and have developed friendships and his friends including wives have developed a rapport and genuine friendships that have exceeded my expectations. This may not be important to all, but when you reach my age it is to me. I like thinking and relating to the "our" friends concept. Just needed to share this added bonus.

1. Friends that have been a part of my life for years. 2. New friends that I've made in the past 3 years. 3. Work friends/colleagues that mentor, support, and share their wisdom. All friends yet in many different ways.

Spring break was productive and 3 good things took place. 1. Kids had dental check-ups - Good results 2. Kids had eye check-ups - Good results 3. I was placed back in same position for next year.

Yea!!! For me less has been so much better. My boys and I have loved having less space to clean, take care of, maintenance, yard, etc. Sounds like a perfect fit to me. Enjoy.

Happy Easter. For me it is my favorite religious holiday. For all of you I wish a happy peaceful loving day.

I've heard a lot of good things about Big Brothers and Scouts. For my boys they had two grandpas who they have always been close to. My boys were older than yours and were active in church groups. Our pastor and youth coordinators are very instrumental in working with one parent families. Also I like the being assertive and asking those who would be willing and maybe just need their brain jogged a little. I've found many friends just don't know or think of how they could be of help but are happy to be asked. When it comes to my kids I don't mind asking. I'm so sorry the "good intentions" of friends and community are soon forgotten.

I can so relate to this. Conversations were so important to DH and I. Can't say I'm a social talker or good at small talk but oh the conversations with DH. Books, the environment, education, parenting, you name it, we talked about it. I miss this special connection. With early teen boys they listen, respond, and hope the conversation ends quickly. My ideas are not so interesting to them.

Thank you for sharing.

I'm so sorry.

It's complicated. We've all heard that before. I am relating to this post strictly from my own perspective and I respect all points of view. I like TooSoon's response. The commitment to plan and achieve goals along with each of you being a better person because of what you each add to the relationship and to each other. When I think of "girlfriend" I think of my high school, college, and before DH days. I believe my behaviors and actions were typically selfish, immature, and not in a compromising mode. Sharing, commitment, and achieving future goals are important to me in my present relationship. We compliment one another and share the same family values. NG has adult children and I have early teens. Parenting is very different with each age but it is parenting nonetheless. We are both looking forward to marriage and commitment this summer. We have a lot of living to do but growing old together makes my heart feel and know that this decision is the right one. Bunny - here's hoping you work through your thoughts and make the decision that is right for you.

I'm excited for you also. I've really enjoyed reading this thread. We all have something in common. We plan, are conservative financially, and think things through. This wasn't on impulse. You had a plan and had thought a lot about it. This vacation was a scouting one to check out your plan. So it happened 6 months sooner than you anticipated but you knew it your gut it was the place for you. 1 year ago I started preparing to sell my house. My plan was to put it on the market in July. I had only minor repairs needed (paint throughout) but the decluttering, cleaning, boxing, selling, storing part was started in March. Ready to paint in June. No Realtor but had done the research on what I expected to get for the house. Neighbors had visitors and asked if they could look at the house. This was a day that the windows sparkled, not a dust bunny to be found, and not a water stain in the sink. The garage was stacked with boxes. Offered me considerably more than I had planned to ask. Without a commission to pay and able to be debt free it went through without a glitch. I chose to rent until I could plan my next step and that is where I am. After signing the papers, I almost freaked out. It happened faster than my mind could process. Enjoy this next step. You know where you are going and it will all work out. Happy for you.

Thank you Marian53 for the confession. Windows every two weeks for me too. I confess childhood habits are permanent. Sheets every week, windows every two weeks, and refrigerator before getting groceries.

Reading this thread took me back one year. I knew I had to sell and downsize for many reasons. No renovations or major work on house but the 3 months of cleaning, purging, packing was taking every free moment of my time. At the same time I was working full time, preparing for teacher certification, and striving for stability in my kids life. A social life would have been impossible to balance. Looking back I have no regrets. The balancing part is difficult enough when there is no added stress. Each of us is faced with different circumstances and we each set priorities and move forward. For me it was kids first and job stability second since without financially stability I would be unable to secure a future for my family. From 4 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom rental townhouse has allowed me to minimize housework, maintenance, and spend more time with kids as well as nurture a relationship by moving NG from friend zone to future partner. DH has remained a constant source of support in my decisions. I can so relate to each of the responders in this thread. Too Soon's comment about being the one constant in our children's lives really resonates with me. Didn't mean to ramble and jump around Trying but my mind does that these days.

I'm so touched and moved by your update. Your honesty and integrity have served you well. No pretension, no blame, just building a future for your son and yourself and showing your real character. You have shown each of us something to incorporate into our healing and growth. SimiRed you have my respect and all the blessings and hugs I can send. Thank you for sharing this inspirational update.

1. Work evaluation was positive and given another year contract. 2. Storage unit contents all sold and no longer have have the monthly rent bill. 3. Love my knitting class. Signed up for art class next year.

I am so sorry you are in such pain and sadness right now. The early months are so hard. Unfortunately there is not an antidote to stop the grief. It is true that time is a healer or at least makes it more bearable. Allow friends and family to give you support and help. Your girls will be OK. They have their Momma and you are their normal. This board is a good place to vent and release emotions and feelings. We understand what you are feeling. I wish I could say the process is fast and easy. It seems so long and hard the first year. Breathe, drink water, and keep moving forward. Sending you blessings and hugs.