mmg19

My 12 year old has been invited by his best friend's family to take a road trip vacation with them covering a lot of the Northeast and staying in a different hotel every other night. All expenses paid. I know this family well and and am letting him decide if he would rather to this than the week at beach with grandparents. Grandparents book the same beach house every year and boys love the low key- nothing fancy week. He opted for beach. He doesn't enjoy road trips and his friend doesn't either. The friend's parents came over last night offering inducements to change his mind. Steadfast No Go on his part but is feeling like he betrayed his friend by turning it down. Actually the friend asked if he could go to beach with grandparents. This is not doable for lots of reasons. Question is ?Do your children like road trips or are my kids just not adventurous and limited in their exposure to the unknown??

1. Make appointment with lawyer to set up revocable trusts. 2. Look for acts of kindness and be grateful. 3. Wash and detail car.

What an example of strength and courage you have given us. You remain in my thoughts and prayers are you travel. The hurt of betrayal has not made you bitter. I admire you. Be safe on the road and keep your sparkle.

Thank you - love Mike -. I'm feeling much more positive about this career change. Right now I need to close out my current job and tie up all the loose ends. I agree that preparation for setting the expectations and climate of the classroom is key. Working with my mentor teacher has been productive.

From what you've said new guy is financially well off and very busy. Has he thought of getting a lawn service and/or cleaning service?

I know this is difficult waiting on results. You are stronger than you feel right now. Praying for a good report. Sending cyber hugs. I'm so sorry you are going through this again. What an awesome Mom you are.

Thanks for all the votes of confidence. My boys even gave me confidence last night. Not having experience in classroom management has concerned me. Last night my 14 year old said " You will have no problem in the discipline. You only say things once and you mean it." Hope he is right.

I posted several weeks ago that I would be stepping into a new career in August. Teaching middle school science as a first time teacher at age 45. As grateful as I am to have this job, I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and scared to death. I am using my 4 days vacation time from current job to observe, volunteer, and be mentored by an excellent teacher in summer school. The subject matter is no problem since my background is in science. BUT all the other preparation, rules and regulations, accountability, learning styles, etc. are really opening my eyes to the world of education. The classes I took the past year to get certification were not hands on. My mentor is so patient and understanding and is going to spend more time with me than he bargained for. I'm working current job until August 1 and will have 1 week before school starts. DH was my encourager and I sure do need him now. My new mantra "I Can Do This. I Will Succeed".

So sorry ABL. Be gentle on yourself. I've spent a lot of time lately with a good friend who is going through the blending broken heart and knowing what she is going through helps me understand your situation. ((Hugs))

Thank you portside. This is the most truly honest and helpful information I've read on blending families. Finances. We all know the statistics of the role finances play in divorce and marital problems. When and if I recouple this info will provide a starting point. Thank you for sharing.

So sorry for this hurt. It's so hard to understand the "nonthinkers". Sending Hugs((Trying))

Thoughts and prayers to you Candance. Hope your Dad is comfortable and you will have some quality time with him. Take care of yourself and know we are here.

I miss the team work. The calming influence. The board to bounce off my ideas. Thinking outside the box now I truly miss his honesty. When I knew I needed to take off a few pounds and friends and family would never tell me, he had the honesty to say in a kind way the truth.

Fabulous news!!!! You go girl.

SR - I wish I had the words to make the pain go away. You hurt because you are a good woman who does nothing to cause pain to another. You are human and have feelings. You believed and invested your heart into this marriage and your heart was not protected by your husband. I'm so sorry and feel your pain. Think of your son. That fabulous young man that will make his mark in the future. Of course, you had good along with the bad. Remember it's when the bad outnumbers the good. From what you have said, the marriage was on a downward spiral. In his mind I'm sure he believes he loves you and he is right. That is the sad part. Love is kind, patient, builds one up, cares about your feelings and would give you up if necessary to give you happiness. Does that sound like the man that was more interested in control of your emotions than allowing you to be the woman you are meant to be. Remember what went wrong. Remember what love looked like with your late husband. Remember what the love of a parent for a child looks like. Start loving yourself. You are so much more than you know. A wife is not meant to be put in a bubble and exist for the sole purpose of a man's pleasure. Even the worst of marriages that never should have been are painful when over for many reasons. As I have mentioned before, I am a prayer warrior and I believe in prayer. There is someone greater and wiser than me in control and sometimes we bleed in the process of moving forward but we do. ((Hugs))

Just wanted you to know, SR, that you are being prayed for and good thoughts are sent your way daily. I understand that it is very difficult for you to still have him calling. Not advice, but a word of caution - Give him an inch and he'll take a mile. Don't answer his calls. You can do this. You have shown strength and integrity from the get-go. There is nothing wrong with your feelings and emotions questioning if you did the right thing. You know you did but that doesn't make the hurt go away immediately. You will heal, flourish, and good things are in your future path. ((Hugs))

Sorry your son had to witness this bad behavior. Sports and parents can bring out the worst in people. I'm a believer in that kids model their parents behavior. That guy's son will either be embarrassed by his father's tirade or become an embarrassment to his children. My boys have had good experiences in organized sports but I've seen enough to know how this must have concerned you and your older son. From what you've said he handled it well. You are doing it right. Hugs.

Sending ((Hugs)) and I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is hard when you need someone to talk to and no one is there. Men particularly do not have that male friend to chat with. My widowed aunt told me right after DH died to cultivate, nurture, and maintain my girlfriends. Boy was she right. In the beginning when I thought some were DGI"s, I hung in there. I've so thankful now because although my dearest friend is married and busy we still talk face to face weekly and she has been there when I was a self-centered whiner in the beginning. Good thought and prayers going out to your brother and you. You may be the friend he needs right now and vice versa.

I've been on the cash/envelope method and I love it. Mainly it is used for grocery envelope/ gas/miscellaneous. Grocery spending has been down for months with money remaining going into the Christmas fund account. I don't know what it is but when you use cash rather than a card I think twice before making an unnecessary purchase.

Love your insight into your journey. Yes, I think you have found a keeper. So happy for you. Patient, respectful, moving at a slow pace and allowing you to find yourself says it all. Yea Kate.

1. Validate 4 days remaining vacation time. 2. Set up days/hours with mentoring teacher. 3. Complete move to store furniture. 4. Close on sale of house.

Sending hugs to you. Please know you are in my prayers.

SR you are an incredible woman. My prayers today are specifically intentionally for you, your son, and your parents. Safety is foremost. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult this has been for you and the amazing strength you have shown. I'm so glad your parents are taking you son and proud of your resolve. Thank you Maureen for being there and updating us. Your son sounds amazing. You have been the Mom we all aspire to be. You have given us all a lot to consider in future choices. Please know you are in my prayers.

From what you have said it seems you have done everything right. Almost a year getting to know him before introducing your son and his intentions have shown respect. Space arrangements, activities, and separate time all taken care of. My boys are 12 and 14 so my perspective is much different than one with a 4 year old. There is no margin of error in dating and integrating parenting at their age. No overnights, no sleepover, or even a hint of indiscretion that would discredit what I expect of them as they approach dating relationships, raging hormones, and testing the waters. Under your circumstances and with a 4 yr. old, I would go. Maybe the therapist is concerned with attachment and Daddy ideation and feels the relationship is not solid. You will make the right call.

Great news. So happy to read this.