Sugarbell

The older I get the less I have a "type" It's more the energy I get from them...intelligence, hobbies, interests, stability. I can find a 55 year old clean cut business type of man just as attractive as a 35 year old outdoor mountain biker/fun hog. Granted...ideally I would like them to have all those things wrapped into one person. DH had that (corporate look during the week/fun hog on weekends)...But I seriously doubt another 6'5 dark haired brilliant thrill seeker is going to cross my path. New guy...physically he's not my normal type...only an inch taller, body builder...age 52. But I love his energy. Time will tell. It's rough to navigate the dating/relationship world...but taking it as it comes.

Yup. The whole "Go Fund Me" malarkey is shameless. Let's just stand on a street corner with a sign and bucket. Either way you slice it...it's the same. Except people on a street corner are usually homeless and hungry. I would rather give my money to them. At least they aren't wearing a fascade (even if the money doesn't go to food but they use it for drugs-At least they aren't hiding behind the veils of social media)

Enjoy!!!!!

I will be honest..(which tends to get me in trouble).he sounds sweet and attentive but insecure. It's flattering in the beginning the "You are out of my league stuff" then insecurity and jealously creeps in slowly. He may indeed be the "one" or not. Just enjoy and see what happens. I just personally don't like insecure men...it makes me uncomfortable. But some people it works for.

We have taken some neat trips (in the US) but honestly...the coolest weekend get away I ever went on was this place called Mountain Quest Institute in Pocohontas County WV. (Only reason I didn't suggest it for bago is it's hard to get to and some people may hate it) If you are into spiritual, new age, exploring all religions, meditAtion...you need to check this place out. M It's the brainstorm of 2 former neurosurgeons who retired where tired of city life in DC. Bought a 450 acre working farm....and built a vacation retreat/learning institute in the mountains. It's close to National Radio Observatory too so cell phones don't work (they study the effects on radio waves on the brain) If you are into that kinda stuff-this place is life changing

Awesome!! More than likely I am looking at July or August. Let me get through this funeral..this week.. I am going to be on the road. I will post some packages/prices/places and throw some dates out and we can decide what/when/and where works best for everyone. It will be a blast!! It's beautiful here!

Back when my kids were tiny...McDonalds indoor playground...Friday evenings always took my 3 to dinner. On Fridays..lots of divorced Dads who had little kids for the weekend took them there.Just sayin Seriously..I hear you..I get it too!! People are dumb...Like a man will make everything all better in there world. ((((Hugs)))

We run about every night-But I try to have us sit down for dinner. Very busy evenings and I am tired after work. Little Ceasers Pizza once a week and I make a salad. Pick pizza up on way home. I think it's gross but my kids love it and for 5.00 you can't beat the price. Breakfast for dinner-blueberry pancakes, egg beaters, bacon Crock pot Something-roast, pork, chicken I make tacos or spaghetti-sliced raw veggies in ref. I keep fruit too. Hamburgers/hotdogs on George Foreman grill-Grilled cheese/Mac n cheese These are basic...but during the week it's nuts in the evening here. Weekends we grill outside salmon, shrimp, steaks...But I never get fancy anymore with 3 active kids and boys who eat all evening anyway. I am sure someone will have recipes and better ideas...I try to cook fast and cheap lateky

Yuck!! Another one is the "life coaches"....basically they don't have degrees in counseling or anything...but they can coach your life to success...FB and social media has given these narcissist an outlet. I hope people don't bite-but I am afraid some desperate souls do. And yes grief... It's a biggie. You don't see many online degree counselors...The ones on social media are opportunists using "life experience" to make them the expert. Even though they feel it's a "calling" (puke) and they truly want to "help" others...Bottom line-Ego..money...opportunist. Just about everyone of the "sites" I have seen. I am an ex pageant chick/dancer turned granola gal. I don't know a lot about most things-But I can spot a narcissist/ego maniac (reminds me of the old pageant coaches/store owners).

I believe volunteering and or service is healthy for a balanced life. iN MODERATION The problem is...once you volunteer once...they ask you for everything...then if spreads to other organizations. For my kids...I volunteer when I HAVE to. Concessions for basketball and now concessions for baseball. I never volunteer to take the lead on that shit. That is the nightmare. I am an Indian not a chief when it comes to volunteering. I don't go to PTA meetings...I never volunteer to be home room Mom. If they need me to bring something to a party for class I do-but again never take the lead. Those PTA groupies here are drama filled crazy. I no longer volunteer with church stuff...I did when kids were very young...I may again when they are grown...but I don't have the time. I say NO! As far as needy drama friends....I don't answer the phone. Lol. Pretty easy. Then wait till right before bed and send a text that I saw they called and I just got to my phone-it was charging by the bed. By then they have talked to someone else about drama gossip so they don't call back. I am your go to gal with crisis stuff (I have a close friend here whose teenage daughter ran awAy is on drugs and she's raising her granddaughter-I listen and am there for her. ) The stupid stuff-I blow off...if I get cornered out and about with other Moms and they gossip-I zone out...go in my own world. Sounds like you have energy vampires...they will move on if they know you don't want to hear about it.

Definitely TS!!! With our daughters creative spirit...and Bossy Boys business acumen....they would be unstoppable!! Keynote speaker!! You go girl!!

My daughter! My once shy backward child...who didn't speak until almost 4...Who I have had in speech therapy since she was 3...who I once had tested for every development delay known to man (I was so worried cause her brother were very verbal very young)..Has lots of friends now, is confident, gets great behavior reports at school and works so hard to keep up (overachiever) Tonight in dance class she was selected for the competition dance team with her studio. Only 2 out of 34 7/8 year old were picked. She will stay with the troupe through high school but the instructor likes to have 2 new young students each year. So proud!

When I am on overload...I did to first use logic instead of emotion. Your friend who just lost a child and has been battling cancer for 4 years...needs to come first. The loss of a child has got to be beyond heartbreaking..she needs support and you don't know how long she will live. The friend who was just diagnosed with cervical cancer....be there...but I have several friends who were diagnosed with cervical cancer on there 20s (darn HPV virus that spread).. it is curable. Tackle it when/if it gets worse. I just lost a long distance BF for melanoma...but the first year when it was in the earlier stages and she was working..I was hopeful she could beat it as was she. This past year...when it was stage IV I was there for her. You can only do what you can do. (((((hugs)))

Thanks for listening. The outlaws have never had any concept of other peoples time. They are in there 70s and are too old to change. Very self centered...since my parents have taken my brother in... He wants to be at all sports stuff...and my boys enjoyed him...but he's manic, intense, takes the fun out of the game...my sons don't want to go to my folks house overnight because my brother keeps them up all night making them watch videos, talking sports. All night. I can't talk to my Mom...complete denial. If I skip one day calling them...big time guilt trip. Yesterday my Mom was telling me they were putting in ramps, railings and a chair lift in the house. (I have listened to the I am dying and crippled talk since I was 23...she does it when she isn't getting much attention )...They both get around fine right now. So I asked "Uh...are you planning on not being able to walk next week?" I got the "Well you never know...we aren't doing well" (my brother is making it worse I know...but she transfers it to me not being there) And talking on the phone daily for an hour drains me. I make my son Sonetimes make the call. The aggravating thing is....if I was married I know they wouldn't pull this shit. Both sets of grandparents in there 40s traveled, had careers, etc...only saw parents a couple times a year. They don't see that I need a life too. And both sets of grandparents stress me out more than my kids. And my kids now have stuff going on every weekend (sports, sleepovers, etc) We can't be at there beck and call. I will have this thread deleted in about a week. I am sure my Mother will find this site by then. (yes...VERY controlling)

Yup. They don't notice. I tend to err on the conservative side for the first few dates...(but not blah boring...I just want them to see me not the outfit..once I am comfortable with a guy I let loose more-but that's my hang up) Your tall like me...I have found investing in quality more expensive pants...I get years of use out of them and they are versatile. Black, gray, taupe and casual off white in summer...I can switch around with different tops (I order the long sizes..I love LEL catalog and JCrew) Summer....skorts are great. You can make them casual or dressy..Very versatile. I only own 2...but have like 15 different looks from them. One black pencil skirt above knee for work. One tall sized maxi dress (Ann Taylor) Just be comfortable most important! Your confidence shows through when you are comfortable-and he's going to be focused on your attitude, smile, mannerisms, conversation much more than your outfit. Oh and I did wear yoga pants on date two with new friend. Long sweaters with dark yoga pants make your legs look even longer!

Before I start....I am truly grAteful my children have both sets of grandparents and they want to be involved in there lives and do help out with shoes, sports clothes, etc. But I am at the age...where the "sandwich" thing comes in...I am busy working, running raising 3 kids solo...and they are at the age of "needing" me and my kids more (nor babysitting my kids...my kids provide entertainment for them) DH only had one brother....he's an ass and lives 500 miles away. So it's all on me with certain things with the outlaws. I have one brother...he lives at home with my parents at age 39-he's bipolar and my Mom seems to become dependent on my boys entertaining him (but he obviously favors one son over the other..I have talked to her about it-Complete denial) And now that I am involved with someone everyone (grandparents) are territorial constantly wanting to stop by unexpectedly...wanting me to call DAILY...and I think my Mom is afraid my brother has lost his 2 playmates in my boys because they like to do stuff with my new guy friend. Yes...it's crazy... I can write this now with ease because since the closing of YWBB my Mother won't be able to read my posts (until she find this site-but I have a few weeks). Yes...I know it's bizarre. I feel like I am pulled....almost helping take care of 4 elderly adults as well as 3 kids. I can handle the kids, house, work solo-I am learning to make time for a relationship now too...the grandparents though my God are wearing me out. I feel bitchy saying all this....but I am always stressed navigating the dynamics between both sets and the kids. Anyone else feel like a "sandwich" taking care of the young and the old now?

Yes Mrs, Dan you nailed it...especially your first paragraph is regards to self absorption. There is so much I could add...with specifics....but won't for the sake of Widda.org. Since being widowed in 2007/2008....This stuff has just exploded. But I am grateful for ywbb for many years and now grateful for Widda. Org. Keeping it real.

Awesome! Was just seeing if there was any interest.... I will find packages/deals on a few of these... We will nix the paranormal all nighter events-kids under 18 aren't allowed (didn't realize that till after I posted) Whitewater rafting with little ones-We should stick with upper New River...it's mild and open for all ages. I will also check out packages/rates at Hocking Hills Also going to check out Canaan Valley/Blackwater Falls area. (An area I love so much I names my first born after the town lol).. it's in the center of the state so it gets a lot of oeople from Va, MD, PA, DC. They have hiking, kayaking, tubing, zip lining, etc. I will get prices...throw out some dates and see if there is still interest. My kids and I go on several long weekends in the summer to some of these places and it's always a blast.

Oh I was to the point of rage sometimes after his death....and I would repeatedly say "Bur he wasn't mentally ill...maybe situational depression due to circumstances but not long term mentally Ill" So I can now see why those who cared for or had a long term mental illness it would be different (prior attempts, hospitalization , etc) Certaibky not easier by any means...but different. Bens suicide just shook me with disbelief...

Yes! That was my situation as well. No long term mental illness....but very poor coping skills. Was in legal trouble from diverting pharmaceuticals-Had a audit investigation looking at him. He kills himself. I made peace with his death...since then I no longer think much about "how" he died...But choose to remember how he lived.

Nixing this bago due to $$$$$ and lack of interest. But if any of you PA or OHio wids want to do Something fun in WV...let me know...

Y'all in no way was I thinking Widda.org would end up leaving abruptly. I have the utmost respect and admiration for the moderators and founders of this site. I just honestly don't understand all the financial stuff. It never crossed my mind to attend the Camps, Seminars, etc. I had 3 tiny kids and if I was going to spend that kind of money-it would be someplace appropriate for all of us...Not widow related (this was my first 2 years into widowhood) There is another group I saw on FB...charging money...more city widows. It's been long enough for me that I look at these groups/sites as an outsider...and me personally think all of it is superficial and rather goofy. Just my opinion. I can fit in anywhere (years in sales I guess forced me too).. but I can only handle so much surface foo foo...I would rather climb a mountain and sleep in a tent. That's my kind of camp or retreat.

I think my problem with the professional widow and foundation thing is this.... we've all been dealt a shitty hand....But don't use it to promote yourself/cause. Reason being-Your dealing with raw vulnerable human emotions. You make a life long career out of it...eventually you heal and move on....forget why you started this is the first place....are looking at the business side of it....then change "careers" or decide not to be a professional widow anymore...and leave the newly widowed in the dust. I would rather wids write a book (not crazy about that either)...But it's a one time fee...newbies read...process...put it away. But this stuff gets more emotional for some and the way this was handled was so not cool. Here's a breakdown of what I have seen of the foundation/professional sites Years 1-3...Excitement heart is in the right place...working on growing expanding...really feeling like they were called from the heavens to do this Years 4-7. sites/non profits peak...Morw established, growing, good base of people, good ideas...(I joined ywbb in 2008-). Ego is getting stroked by founder...narcissism starting to peak through... By year 8-10. burning out... Frustrated...healed, moved on....business side taking over, passion lost, ey After year 10 (or before) crashes and burns. Leaving vulnerable people in it's wake. But it's been so long for whomever creates what...and they have been removed or detached from loss...they don't think the sting will be bad for others. And of course....this is a notch now in there belt or resume to add to life's accomplishments and "look at me" --Lauren whomever the creator showed us all that...listing accomplishments. (And you veterans know there are dozens more "Lauren's" with sites/foundations out there. I just honestly thought ywbb was different. I know Widda.org will be!!

I am still totally confused about "non profit" and needed to fundraise to keep it open??? No one was moderating Ywbb much...I just thought it was created and would just exist forever. Do these forums cost money to run? Like monthly expenses? Honestly...not being sarcastic I have no clue. I have always steered away from all the FB..."Widow foundation" stuff and even "Camp Widow"-Some love it...but it just seems all too opportunistic. I would be happy to donate to this site. But I honestly don't understand where the money is going to how forums, etc work?

????? Complaining your post was in the wrong section?? Somebody has to much time on there hands or needs a hobby. Lordy