trying2breathe

DD has been excited for the start of school, last week the excitement disappeared and she's been in a completely different mind set. We're seeing a counselor, hope that she opens up about what's going on with all of this. It's like I have a completely different daughter, I don't recognize this new behavior at all. I agree, Trying - teenagers ARE the most frustrating creatures!!

Thank you for the replies and the suggestions. She's been in her room today, sleeping, refusing to do much of anything. I've taken away her iPhone and computer. She says that she'll get to her homework when she feels like it. sigh ....... Unless I knew better, I would think that she's on something, but I'm pretty sure that she isn't. If she is motivated by something, I don't know what it is right now. The privileges are gone, at this point she'll get necessities and that's it. I have no idea how to jump start a teen girl.

I am beyond frustrated with 16 y/o DD's attitude towards school so far. Her junior year of HS started this week, so far she's ignoring assignments and is completely scattered in getting organized. This is unusual behavior for her, her inability to organize AT ALL is completely new. Twice this week I had to wake her up - she slept through her alarm. She had 3 books for summer reading, and refused to start reading any of them until 5 days before school started. She completed one book, and half of another. She wants to get her driver's license, and a car soon. I don't feel like I can let that happen until she's more responsible. AAARRGGGH!! Any suggestions on how to deal with this? I'm ready to start my Xanax prescription again ......

Thanks so much for sharing - I needed a laugh today!

So glad that she's apologized, and good for your son to have her apology too. Seems like a good outcome, considering. Yay!!

How's it going? Hope that you're getting some resolve - thinking about you and your son.

A teacher of 10 years?? Wow, just wow! So sorry that your son went through this. That teacher needs to be called out on completely unprofessional behavior!

Downloaded a sample of the book on Kindle, read 'til the end of the sample and then downloaded the full copy. So far really enjoying the book!

I'm in! My kids were 14 and 16 when DH died, should be an interesting topic and we will have a unique and personal perspective on it. I've enjoyed various book groups over the years, an on-line one should be interesting! Suggest that you pick a date and then post discussion questions on the book - ? Gee, it would be great to chat live but sure would be hard to gather all of us together at the same time! ;D

Congratulations, Hunter. All the best to you!

Wow, just wow. Lowest of the low to run a scheme like this.

Thanks for clarifying, widowat33. Although I would like to believe that my kids would always follow my direction and be law abiding polite young people, sadly I am learning that they make up their own mind and sometimes their own rules. I'm learning to try and let go, and have natural consequences happen for bad choices made. Hardest thing ever to do in this case, as my natural tendency is to go into helicopter mode!

Rob I hear you - those dinners spent together with your girls are priceless. I try to insist on dinner every night with my daughter and she's not always a willing dinner companion. Soon your girls will be on their way, and no doubt will think back fondly on time spent with you. I do think that it's good for them to see that you have a life outside of theirs too. Although an empty nest will come soon enough - don't skip out on living your life too. Yes indeed, a social life now is certainly trickier.

Interestingly enough, I find myself becoming more of a helicopter parent with my daughter age 16. I have been involved yet have given my kids increasing responsibility and freedom over the years. In my daughter's case this has unfortunately backfired and resulted in her getting into trouble. widowat33 writes "I would never allow my children to do something reckless, or illegal." I am wondering about this ^^ maybe this statement was meant for parents of young children. The actions of a teenager are not always a direct reflection of parenting skills. At some point a teenager needs to take responsibility for their actions.

I don't have much of a social life, but when I do get out I drop off my daughter at her grandfather's house. I'm not so concerned about her feeling alone, although maybe I should be - it's more about me knowing that she's in a safe place and not getting into trouble. It's funny that my kids were perfectly fine and happy to stay by themselves for a short while when they were a bit younger. But now that my daughter is 16, I feel like once again she needs a sitter! :

What a beautiful post, so good to hear that your daughter is thriving. Best wishes to her in the competition, whatever she decides to do.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Maureen. What a wonderful gift to have a loving FIL like him.

Virgo Never too old for flirting - I had a charming elderly great aunt that flirted with handsome men of any age, she had a lot of admirers. She also had a lot of practice at it too. Flirting for me feels strange, I'm out of practice and yes, feel as klutzy as a high schooler.

I've gone through the process of hiring roofers for repair, have never replaced an entire roof though. Hard decision on whether to repair or replace. Do you have access to an Angie's List type of service? Or ask neighbors for referrals. I would get another estimate or two, from a reputable roofer. Good luck, no easy decision.

Carey Terrifying. Big big hugs to you

I try to visit the cemetery every 2 months or so, feel like I should be there more often as it's only 20 minutes away. I don't believe that I go to visit him there, but I do have guilt in thinking that I should be trying more to keep up the niche and keep the arrangement in season. I understand about wanting to tend others' graves. Although I haven't done this, it's tempting to tidy up and place flowers where there may not be an arrangement, I can see why it would be overwhelming to visit.

So proud of my 18 y/o son - He's been on his own this past year in Europe to finish up his senior year of high school. He's graduating with honors in a tough IB program, is thrilled to be accepted to his top choice colleges and has been offered 2 scholarships. So damn proud of him - :)

Good memories, Mac. I saw Fleetwood Mac in Ft. Lauderdale in the mid 80's - Lindsey wasn't with them then, instead replaced by 2 guitarists. This was one of my husband's favorite bands, we had a collection of most of their music and played it all of the time. How cool to have the opportunity to help the roadies!

I have these dreams too, not as far out as you are though. In some of my dreams he's still here, too. I guess the subconscious has not accepted that he's really gone yet??

Two months after my husband died, I took my two teen kids to Naples, Italy for their school's fall break. It was a relatively short trip for us, as we were living in Europe at the time. We toured Naples, took a day for a guided tour of Pompeii, and then climbed Mt. Vesuvius. The day we left all taxis were on strike, it took my best Spanish and lots of desperate hand gesturing to find a bus to take us to the airport. : When I think back on this trip so soon after his death, it's as if he was with us.