trying2breathe

Trying So sorry that you're dealing with this. I too have an 18 y/o son, he has had some issues but right now is doing okay. It is a very fine line trying to figure out how much to push when a child is so fragile. The important thing for us was finding a therapist that my son could connect with. I asked the high school counselor for recommendations and she gave us the name of one that has worked well for my son. The only other thing that I can think of is to possibly find a group of his peers that have experienced the death of a parent. My daughter joined a Facebook group of teens that had lost a parent, I will look for this and send it along to you via PM. Big hugs to you, hope that you can find some resolution very soon. Please keep us posted.

Big (((hugs))) SVS - thank you for sharing these beautiful words, and hope that you have some peaceful days very soon.

I get this too, SB. We are grateful and lucky to have both sets of parents active and supportive in my kids' lives. They are all in their 80's now, and doing pretty well. But their expectations and needs most of the time don't align with ours. And to keep my teen kids interested in what they're up to - it's awkward, and usually lands on my lap to manage. I tell my kids that we're lucky to have all grandparents still with us, and this could soon change. Definitely feeling like the middleman most days though.

I joined YWBB a couple of months after DH passed, in deep grief and doing my best to survive. I chose the screen name trying2breathe because it described perfectly my state of mind at the time. I'm in a better place now and these days it's easier to breathe, but the name remains as a reminder of the long journey.

It is so unfair, isn't it? DH was so excited about the college process, I feel like second best trying to manage this. Has your son decided? I think it will be extra hard to drop them off in the fall.

I'm teary eyed, my son is nervously waiting for college news this week and the next and together we will make decisions soon on where he will attend college. My husband would have loved to go through this - some how, some way, I know what DH's thoughts would be and I'm sharing them with my son. This fall we will pack a U-haul and drive to wherever he needs to be. DH should be with us .....

Big hugs, I'm relating to your post as my senior son's decisions will come soon too. This is so hard as the only parent. More (((hugs)))

Hi - I was trying2breathe on YWBB, and copied below is what I posted 3 weeks after my husband's death in August of 2013. Since this post, my daughter and I moved back to the States and my son stayed in Europe to complete his senior year of high school. For me, the grieving process was delayed as it took a lot to deal with foreign bureaucracy and an international move, feel like the better part of grieving started after the move back last summer. We were married 20 years, celebrating our anniversary a few months before he passed. I had no idea that a few months later he would be gone. I'm grateful for the time that we did have together. *********** DH died suddenly on August 1st - he collapsed while out on a solo bike ride after work. He was found by others but their efforts at resuscitation did not work. DH was an avid bicyclist, loved riding the hills close to our house. My kids and I live in a foreign country, where we do not speak the language. I had 2 police officers at my door that fateful evening, attempting to tell me what happened. This took 1-1/2 hours of their pacing in my front driveway and smoking cigarettes. The only words that I understood were "husband" and "bicycle". I just knew. For the sake of my two kids that are in high school, we are trying to stay in this country and in this house. A move right now would be so very difficult. Although I don't know if it would be any easier not seeing the constant reminders of him, everywhere I look. Grateful for this site.

mango Must agree that at times I feel non-existent around some of my long-time married guy friends. But I'm also consciously staying away from married guy friends too - don't want to give off the idea that I might be interested in any of them. I'm not! One of the strangest things for me to deal with right now is how to present myself in social situations - how do I act? Am I single, available, or interested? I don't know how to flirt, so I try to avoid men altogether!

My son is much older now - but I remember very clearly the potty training process with him. We went out and bought a "potty" together - one that he chose, and that he could easily sit on by himself. Also got stickers that he could paste on the potty whenever he went. I bought a toy that he loved - a model car, and placed it on a high shelf where he could see it while using the potty, and let him know that once he was doing okay he could have the car. I tried not to stress about the process - not easy but it made a big difference in how he did with everything. Took about 2 months - one night I forgot to put him in pull-ups, and he was perfectly dry the whole night. From then on we were good. You'll get there