trying2breathe

abl Ah yes, the expert negotiators. Both my kids are masters at this, so exasperating! I find that they detail out the smallest points and want answers to everything. No big advice to offer for this, although I will say that if I take the time to sit down and really listen, rather than communicate on the fly, things go way better. My kids feel like they are heard, and I can more easily get my point across. My kids have the uncanny ability to try and negotiate at a bad time, probably thinking that they'll have the advantage 8) if possible I'll postpone the conversation for later.

Rob Your DD is bucking your system, for whatever reason. I think there's a deeper issue going on, it seems that whatever your rules she is resisting them. Stricter discipline with her is having the opposite effect than what you would like. I'm going out on a limb to offer a contrary thought. Have you considered making some adjustments to work within her way of doing things? Let her know that her efforts are appreciated, and emphasize the importance of getting dinner on the table on time. I'd emphasize how hungry you are at the end of the day, how nice it is to sit down as a family and enjoy dinner together. Ask what she needs to make it work - a simpler meal, more time, ability to food shop, recipe ideas. Maybe consider a celebration meal out, or something else that she enjoys, should she start to be successful at getting dinner served on time. As far as a consequence for late dinner, ask again what she needs to get dinner on the table in time. I do like the continue on until you get it right, although hopefully she won't have a stretch of days and days, trying to get it right. Kids are so different, what works for one doesn't always work for another. My two kids are as different as night and day, it's been a challenge to figure out how to deal with the issues of both. A struggle has also been their observation that things are not always fair - I sometimes reward one for an accomplishment, when the other effortlessly and happily completes the job. I try hard to have discipline and benefits work out equally, my kids and I have had many conversations about this. Good luck, and bon appetit!

Agree about the girl stuff - it is a tough few years for all of us! I too deal with food, dirty dishes and empty or not so empty drink containers in 17 y/o DD's bedroom. As much as I complain about it, nothing has helped. DD also trashes the passenger side of my car with gum and food wrappers, and empty drink containers. Last week I found nail polish spilled on the light carpet in her bedroom New rule - no doing your nails in the house, take it to the patio. :-\ Aarrrggh!!! Messiness aside, DD is a great kid. She's a good student, for the most part follows rules, is loving, kind and respectful. I try to focus on the positives and let the messiness go. It's not easy!!

Count in me too! My daughter is 17 and I would appreciate all of the parent strategies that I can get! :

I haven't been audited yet, or called for that matter but it makes me think that I need to be prepared should it happen. Sorry that you're dealing with this. My son's SS payments stopped once he graduated from high school, I still get payment for my 17 y/o daughter. I figure that I use all SS funds and more on her care, it would be a chore to put together some kind of financial proof though.

I'm going through the very same thing, Mike. My daughter passed her driving test on Monday, on Tuesday drove her own newly acquired car to school on her own. I stood in the driveway in my pj's and slippers, and watched her pull out of the driveway and away. Bittersweet, to be sure. He should be here for this. And this exactly - "he should be as proud of her as I am and as she is of herself."

Carey You are heard, I'm so sorry for the struggles and hope for some peace for you in the days ahead. I'm in the time frame of two years ago too - in many ways it's tougher now than in those dark early days. Reality is fully rooted, acceptance has set in and we are dealing with the daily sadness of it all. I so appreciate this new board, but it does seems that responses are less here than they were on YWBB for some reason. I too find myself reading, starting a post and then deleting - not sure why.

Every once in awhile I have a dud of a day, accomplishing absolutely nothing. Yesterday was one of those days - I stayed in jammies, ate junk food and watched endless episodes of Say Yes to the Dress. Ugghhh.

Agree with Kealoha, don't burn any bridges. One never knows when you'll come across these people again, maybe in a future position.

Wow, SB, very proud Mom moment. Go Happy Gilmore!!

Wonderful, wonderful news, Maureen!

Beautiful picture of your Rosie! Thanks for sharing

kat I get it too. We went from a busy family of four, to just me and my daughter. My son left for his first year of college, and my daughter will be on her way in a couple of years too. Much different life than I imagined I'd be living.

SB Big ((( hugs)))

Hey AC! Welcome back!

I too have recently lost a bestie - the one that helped me through the early dark days. I couldn't have it made it without her. She's moved on I guess. Oh well. sigh ......

Gym for an hour yesterday - really sore, especially arms so today will be a light day, maybe a hike around the neighborhood.

What a lovely gesture to think of them and send a care package. A few suggestions for the children Crayons/markers and coloring books, sticker books, small journals, stuffed animals, small puzzles, small set of Lego toys, card games, jacks.

Didn't realize that this topic was here - I'm glad it is! I hope to get in some kind of movement every day, for the next month Today 30 minutes of pilates jumpboard, 10 minutes of free weights and 20 minutes of stretching on a mat

Look forward to the discussion later this month. I've not had time to read much of it yet, what I have read so far has been intriguing although I don't agree with some of it.

SB Ugh, the moody bratty middle school stage - I agree also that it's easier dealing with boys than girls at this age. : As hard as it is, maybe take the cue from your other kids, give him some space and stay out of his way. If it's especially bad, take away some privileges. This too shall pass ......

MS I lost my beloved dog 3 weeks ago - heartbreaking loss for me as DH and I adopted our dear Lucy together 11 years ago. My kids are begging for a new dog - I'm so tempted to find a lovable rescue and adopt now. From experience, I know that responsibility for a dog lands on me, and I can't commit the time to a new pet right now. I so miss a furry presence in my house - the walks, cuddles and companionship. I can't wait for the day when we have a dog again. For me, it's about thinking of when I can take on the responsibility again. Big ((hugs))

yep ^^^ this exactly, mac

Taking my oldest to college this weekend - big hugs to you. We're on somewhat of a similar timeframe as DH died 3 weeks before my son's junior year. DS has not yet processed the grief, I'm hopeful that his freshman year will go well. My plan is to find the health center and counseling center once we get to campus. It's up to him on whether he will use the services. My heart is with you, more hugs

Reading it, not yet at Chapter 5 but I'll skip ahead. I'm in on a chat, should be interesting.