Guest wecouldbeheros Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 A primary photo should be you only. Read that and found it to be true. Otherwise people sometimes see it as a ready made family and will steer away. At least I've found that to be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 I think you're right wecouldbeheros. On Match I was able to change it to a photo of me but it is an old one. For some reason, I can't upload and use a current photo. Update on my little experiment with Match. One of the guys that I sent a message to has checked out my profile many times. Under the message tab, it says none of my messages have been read but I can see he checked me out again. I don't get it. Are the guys on Match more stuck up? Went onto POF sent out one message the guy replied within 10 minutes. Once I get more data might need to do a TED talk on this or we could include it in our book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Update on my little experiment with Match. One of the guys that I sent a message to has checked out my profile many times. Under the message tab, it says none of my messages have been read but I can see he checked me out again. I don't get it. Are the guys on Match more stuck up? If he isn't reading your message, it's almost certainly because he's not paid up. Ain't no guy gonna refuse to read a message! Match will drop hints that you visited his profile, but he can't even see he has a message from you if he's not paid up. You assume the worst a little too fast :-) Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Does Match show the person is online even is they are not a paid member? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobFTC Posted February 22, 2017 Share Posted February 22, 2017 Does Match show the person is online even is they are not a paid member? Of course - it helps them market more people to you! Some have documented that match reports people as "last online in the last N days" even when they haven't used their apps or logged into their accounts for a much longer time. I like match, but they are a little shifty. Take care, Rob T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nonesuch Posted February 24, 2017 Share Posted February 24, 2017 I think the tactic is used by many of the online dating companies, Rob. That's why they try like heck to get you to disable your account rather than delete it when you want to take a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Needytoo Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 It is a shifty move what Match is doing and I keep picking the guys that are most likely not paid members. The guy I was "chatting" with from POF ghosted on the third day. The guy didn't even try, would reply with one-word answers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I noticed some things recently on match and plenty of fish .. So,. when the picture comes up it will say Bobprofile , 54. So now you click on it and it says Hi my name is Bob and I'm 49. So what I find funny is you have been on so long when you wrote your profile , the dating site kept up with your current age but you can't edit your profile to say hi I'm bob and I'm 54. .? Other thing I find funny is the guys on plenty of fish can't spell the town they live in correctly , I'm talking butchering it so I have to think oo you mean xyz? Then on match you get I live in (just an example ) .. New York City , but looking for someone 10 miles from Orlando Florida . Ok huh?? Glad I find humor in this .. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momof2obs Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Has anyone else tried Bumble? I did this week and can't believe not one match out of the dozens of men that I had liked. Not one. Ego bruised but, in all reality, not the worst thing to have happened to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 Keep laughing M2j&j! It's all you can do! Those must be the old profiles they use for bait maybe too. I have found many of the opposite too. Profile says 50 and then they say they are 30 but like older women! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 I have tried Bumble. It's hit and miss and not much different than Tinder. Although, you do get a fuzzy glimpse of who has swiped on you on your messages page. It's sometimes easy to tell based on the colours of the image. Sadly most of these are not of interest for me. I have met a couple and chatted with a bunch but nothing of value yet. Don't take it personally. It's just the nature of the beast. I forgot to add. Even if you match and you send a message they don't always respond. They may also unmatch you. I had one this week unmatch me mid sentence! I was typing and he vanished! Get some manners people! It's all part of the game I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Let's play a game .. backstory .. was on ok Cupid last night . Clicked on a profile of a guy I knew, he messaged me and said hey I know you . I responded I know you . He is a dad of a baseball player in our town, and I've seen him before at the fields . So we messaged for awhile , then decided to chat on the phone. Had never talked to him before in real life, so was pleasantly surprised how easy it was to talk with him. He asked if I'd like to go out Wednesday night. He said he would reach out today to finalize , also threw on or I could call him. ( which I don't and won't , at least in beginning if your interested I feel guys place to do that ) So the game is , it's 8pm .. will he call ? Text ? None of the above , flake and blow off the whole thing . What do we think ? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Guys are often nervous about the first call too. They might be interested but aren't sure if you are. If he doesn't and you don't but you are interested, message him and say something like ' Hey, sorry we did not connect. Call me when you are free and let's schedule to meet.' It gives him clear direction on what to do. The first time NG and I were messaging I made the suggestion to meet. He agreed and sent his #. I sent mine and said something like 'Yeah let's talk'. He called. I wasn't adverse to ringing first, just too nervous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Arenal but we already talked on phone last night. So first call out of way . Tonight is just a follow up to plan something for tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Ah. Got it. He said he would call and didn't. See what happens. Maybe there was something pressing. If he doesn't reach out by the weekend, meh, move on. If you hear from him after, remind him he said he would call and add maybe that you figured his schedule changed. You have things to do -- let him chase you a little Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 5, 2017 Author Share Posted April 5, 2017 Momtojandj, I may go against the norm here. He did put it out there that you could call him too. Lots of things can come up and he could have gotten busy or distracted. I see nothing wrong with you reaching out this once, just to show him you have some interest. It's not like you don't know who he is, if he's a scammer, yada yada, or all the other things on line can bring on. Sometimes guys need a little budge. An example is Mr Bumble. We matched and chatted a bit there. Exchanged numbers and talked. He went quiet for a few days and then I texted to say a quick hi, how is your day. That led to him asking for a meet date. That went well. I texted to say I had a nice time and we exchanged some laughs. At that point I left it in his court. It took a couple days but he came back and asked me to lunch later this week. I do understand the whole let the guy chase you but I also feel that there is nothing wrong with showing some interest back. Take this as you see, if it works for you. I am definitely no expert here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Agreed momto - that's what I as trying to get at Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 5, 2017 Share Posted April 5, 2017 Ok, took both your advice and sent a quick text , he had told me about a date he went on and the girl had black lip liner and no lipstick ... So I sent a text and said .. I went and bought some black lip liner .. we shall see now ... thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 Any news Momtojandj? I have lunch tomorrow with Mr Bumble. 😁 And maybe a mid morning date with Mr Tinder. 😮 You just have to laugh at all this on line craziness! I've never had dates with 2 men on one day! Goodness! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Momtokam Good for you ! Report back on your dates ! I have a date with him tonight at 5. We have been chatting on the phone, so far so good. So we will see tonight :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 Yay, momtokam! Hope you have a great time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtokam Posted April 6, 2017 Author Share Posted April 6, 2017 Yay momtojandj! I guess your reaching out got his attention! I hope you are having a good time. 😊 So, the one who has a hard time getting to the meet stage had 2 dates today! My goodness! Never would have believed I could do that. Both were second dates with both men. Breakfast with Mr Tinder was good. So much chemistry but we are just so different, past and present! I told him about my hesitations. He is still persuing me. He likes me a lot. We are both looking for more so I just have a hard time seeing this as a future. Lunch with Mr Bumble was also very nice. Complete gentleman, paid the bill without hesitation. I just can't get a read on his interest level. Saying goodbye does not lead to a request to see me again, just a friendly hug. I text to thank him afterwards and say I enjoyed myself. I get a nice likewise type message back. He is not texting in between to chat or call. It was like that after date 1 but then 2 days later came the request to take me to lunch. I wonder if he is like my minimal texter from way back, who still pings me with "Hey theres" every so often. I wish dating was easier! I'm too old for this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 6, 2017 Share Posted April 6, 2017 momtokam -- some men are not big on the text thing. It sounds like Bumble is a bit of an introvert. My NG is like that; rarely texts in between meet-ups. And I am very much an introvert, so I get that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momtojandj Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Ok.. my report .. dinner , and he paid when I went to the bathroom. Wasn't sure if he liked me during dinner, until he asked if I wanted to go for a walk . Yes please :-) . Walked and then sat in my car and talked for hours it seemed . He mentioned when he has interest , he doesn't keep looking and focuses on that one person. And if it's ok , he would like to do that . I said I'm on board . I'm not a fan of multi dating . Left with a hug , was bummed no kiss. However received a text that said , he felt awkward and got shy so just hugged me . Ok then ... overall good date , def want to go out again . Yay ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arneal Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 Yay, momto! I can tell you it was a couple of months before NG and I kissed. But I think we both were thinking about it :)You'll get there, God willing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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